


The PB to my J - Part Two

by aqua_myosotis_scorpioides



Series: The PB to my J [7]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Established Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Gay Remus Lupin, Happy Ending, James Potter is a Good Friend, M/M, Marauders, Minty the Cat, Modern AU, Modern Marauders (Harry Potter), No cheating, Pansexual Sirius Black, Phone Sex, Sexting, Smut, Texting, This one does get angsty, University AU, jily, sirius black is oblivious, text fic, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:48:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 59,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28272648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aqua_myosotis_scorpioides/pseuds/aqua_myosotis_scorpioides
Summary: The gang are back with more shenanigans!A continuation of The PB to my J which you can readhere.Again, this will mainly be in texting format with the odd chapter in prose to mix it up a bit.Hit me up onTumblrif you fancy a chat!
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: The PB to my J [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2018050
Comments: 1824
Kudos: 566
Collections: Modern Marauders





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so sorry lovely readers - I hope you don’t all hate me too much.

**PB to my J**

**Pads**

I miss you

**Moons**

I miss you too

Although you better not be texting while you drive!

**Pads**

Course not

I’m no fool

Have stopped at the services

Was going to get a flat white

but ordered a peppermint hot chocolate

because it reminds me of you

**Moons**

You don’t like peppermint hot chocolate though??

**Pads**

I know

But I like kissing you after you’ve had one

You taste all sweet

And Remusy

**Moons**

That is both super cute

and super gross

**Pads**

Yeh probably

Wish I could have stayed with you

**Moons**

No you don’t

And anyway

The Potters would never forgive me

if I didn’t relinquish you for actual Christmas

**Pads**

I suppose

I think I’m just tired

That’s why I stopped for a bit

**Moons**

Well I’m glad you did

And I’m not surprised you’re tired…

**Pads**

Yes well

Whose fault is that?

**Moons**

Umm

Yours

Obviously

Getting all possessive in the pub

Was hot

**Pads**

I didn’t like the way

he was looking at you

**Moons**

He wasn’t looking at me!

**Pads**

Was

**Moons**

Fine

Even if he was

which he wasn’t

I wouldn’t have been interested

Have you seen you?

**Pads**

I did look pretty banging last night

**Moons**

Hell yeh you did

**Pads**

I better get going

Effy will start worrying otherwise

Call you this eve?

**Moons**

Course

We can facetime if you want

Drive safe

**Pads**

X

**Moons**

X

\------------------------------

**My Support Bras**

**Marls**

Hows it going Lils??

**Lils**

Good I think!

His parents are SO nice

His mum is literally the most mumsiest mum of all the mums

**Als**

Figures though

James obviously gets it from somewhere

**Lils**

True

They full on dote on him

the whole house is literally filled

with photos of him

is sweet

**Marls**

Can’t believe I don’t know this already

Is he an only child?

**Lils**

Yeh

Although obvs Sirius is here now too

They talk about him as if he’s their son

Its really lovely

**Als**

I’m glad

Sirius deserves that

Is he back from Remus’ yet?

**Lils**

No

I’ll just miss him

I’m leaving at lunchtime

He gets back this afternoon

**Dorky**

The most important of the questions:

Are you allowed to sleep in the same room??

**Lils**

Lol

Absolutely not

Effy clearly thinks he’s a blushing virgin

Monty I’m not sure about

I snuck in the second night

And in the morning he definitely winked at James

when we came down for breakfast

**Marls**

Haha!

Love that

How have things progressed

on that front?

**Lils**

Not as far as I had hoped

I swear his mum has a sixth sense

Every time we’ve been getting frisky

She’s appeared with cake or tea

And once a hilarious shaped carrot

Which we just _had_ to see

The irony was not lost on me

**Dorky**

**😂**

**Als**

She sounds hilarious

Miss you guys!

**Lils**

Same!

James and I were talking

And thought that if people were up for it

We could do New Year altogether

Maybe back at ours?

**Dorky**

Ooo I’d love that

Like do _do_ something

Or just chill?

**Lils**

Just chill

Get a takeaway and watch a bit of Jools Holland

Drink too much etc

**Marls**

Yes!

I’m all over this

New Years is always a massive anti-climax

**Als**

Well up for that

Love a bit of Jools Holland

**Lils**

Yay!

I’ll tell J to tell the lads

\------------------------------

**We Who Shall Not Be Named**

**Prongs**

Not sure if we talked about New Years

before we left

but Lily suggested

that we go back early

and do it at the girls

What do we think?

**Wormtail**

Sounds good to me

Mary was talking about going to London

for the fireworks

but I honestly can’t think of anything worse

**Padfoot**

But fireworks Pete!

**Wormtail**

Yes

But she wants get there at 7AM!!

So we can get a space at the front

Opposite that stupid wheel

**Padfoot**

Oh fuck that

Come and be merry with us

**Wormtail**

It’s a no brainer isn’t it

At least I can tell her i’ve got plans

And not be lying

**Moony**

You could always ask her if she wants to come too…?

**Wormtail**

That I could Moony

That I could

**Prongs**

Sweet!

This will be our first New Years all together!

And unlike last year

I’ve actually got someone to kiss at midnight

**Padfoot**

Umm hello?

I see you’ve conveniently forgotten

about last year

We had a lovely kiss

in front of the fireplace

at home 

**Moony**

I’m sorry

What?

**Padfoot**

Oh yeh

My boyfriend’s in this chat

Hi Remusaur!

So who’s excited for Christmas Eve tomorrow??

**Moony**

Oh no

Don’t let my presence stop you

reminiscing about last New Years

do continue

**Prongs**

It’s not what it sounds like Moony

I swear!

Ok

Its exactly what it sounds like

but it was a very chaste kiss

ok

it wasn’t that chaste

I accidentally opened my mouth a bit

and a bit of tongue came out

BUT it didn’t mean anything

**Padfoot**

Hey!

I thought we had a moment

**Prongs**

Ok

It meant something

But I only enjoyed it

in a brotherly sense

Please don’t hurt me

What am I talking about

I could easily take you in a fight

I think

Oh God I’m not sure

**Moony**

**🤣**

You’re an idiot Prongs

\------------------------------

**PB to my J**

**Moons**

So

James hey…?

**Pads**

I have literally no idea

what you’re talking about

**Moons**

Got to say Pads

I’m impressed you managed

to keep your little clandestine kisses

in front of roaring log fire

under wraps for almost a whole year

**Pads**

What kisses?

I kiss no-one but you

You’re delusional

Its all in your imagination

**Moons**

Well if I’m allowed to get my imagination involved

Not gonna lie

The idea of you and James

Mmmmm

Yup

**Pads**

ABSOLTELY NOT REMUS

DON’T YOU DARE

**Moons**

HAHA!

Knew that would do it

**Pads**

Please tell me you’re joking

**Moons**

Of course I’m joking you melon

**Pads**

Oh thank God

I mean

I’d like to think I’d do anything for you

But I’m just not sure I could do that

**Moons**

Aww babe

That’s so sweet

And don’t worry

I’m not about to suggest a threesome with Prongs

It would be like sleeping with my brother

**Pads**

Precisely

And anyway

it was barely a kiss

we’d drunk way too much baileys

**Moons**

Uh oh

Prongs gets weepy

when he’s been at the Baileys

**Pads**

Exactly

He was all sad about breaking up with Claudia

and Evans still not being interested

so drunk Sirius thought it would cheer him up

It lasted approx. 2.5 seconds

In which he remembered he was more or less straight

And I remembered I was completely in love with you

**Moons**

Oh Sirius

That was a whole year ago

**Pads**

Yeh I know

Got you now though

**Moons**

Yeh

you have

I love you

**Pads**

I love you too

Going to be lonely in bed tonight

without my personal hot water bottle

**Moons**

I know

Honestly can’t remember the last time we slept separately

We still going to facetime before though?

**Pads**

Course

That way we can still fall asleep together

**Moons**

That sounds perfect


	2. Chapter 2

**A Good Pear**

**Sirius**

Alice!

I’m so sorry I missed your call yesterday

Crashed early after the drive home

Everything ok?

**Alice**

No worries

Was just ringing to catch up

How was your Lupin fam time??

**Sirius**

So nice!

We did loads of Christmassy stuff

Including going to get a Christmas tree

At a place where you go and choose one

and then actually cut it down

Lyall let me have a go chopping

**Alice**

Ahh amazing

Love those sorts of days

Me and Frank went to the Christmas market

and had giant sausages

was delicious

**Sirius**

Love a giant sausage

Did you have mulled wine?

**Alice**

Mulled cider

Was good

**Sirius**

Yum!

Lyall makes his own cider

there are loads of apple trees in the garden

**Alice**

That’s so cool

**Sirius**

I know!

He’s got these massive glass bottle of it

In the garage

And he also has a motorbike!!

Which Re had failed to mention

He let me sit on it

**Alice**

Did you feel like the man?

**Sirius**

Like the fucking man Al

He says he’ll teach me how to ride it

When we’ve finished uni

Hope showed me some photos

of him on it back in the day

He was proper cool

**Alice**

Oh bless him

Didn’t you say he was just like Remus?

Although I can’t really see Big Dill riding a motorbike

I feel he's too tall

**Sirius**

LITERALLY just like him

I mean they look pretty similar too

It’s like seeing Remus in 40 years time

He’s started calling me son

I like it

**Alice**

That’s so sweet

I’m glad you had a nice time

**Sirius**

Yeh

Lyall’s also got the MOST amazing record collection

Including a first press of

Dark Side of the Moon

He’s amazing

**Alice**

IS he?

**Sirius**

*Its

Shit

**Alice**

Bit of a Freudian slip there love

**Sirius**

What?

No it wasn’t!

**Alice**

No judgey here

You literally just said

that he’s a carbon copy of Rem

who you are very much in love with

**Sirius**

Stop it

You’re making it weird

**Alice**

Why?

You’ve got a huge ass crush on Remus’ dad

It’s perfectly natural

**Sirius**

Yes

But it’s not like I want to bone Re’s dad!!

**Alice**

Not even a teensy bit?

**Sirius**

No

I just think he’s really cool tis all

Oh my God

PLEASE don’t tell Remus

He’ll make us talk about it

or something equally horrific

**Alice**

Your secret’s safe with me

\------------------------------

**F.R.I.E.N.D.S**

**Remus**

Happy Christmas Eve!

__

**Lily**

Ahhh Minty!

She looks so Chritsmassy!

**Marlene**

That’s some cute shit right there

**James**

Minty my baby!

She looks so snuggly

Ahh Padfoot’s in the shower

I’m going to go show him now

**Remus**

Oooohh

I’m so jealous

**Dorcas**

Control your thirst please Rem

Let’s keep this PG

**James**

Yes

It’s my turn with the Padfoot

You had him all last week

**Remus**

But

Wet Padfoot is one of my favourite Padfoots

☹

**James**

I will maybe take a picture of him

**Remus**

Yay!

**Marlene**

God

I forget how oddly close you guys all are

**Alice**

Tbf though

you painted Dorcas’ toenails

while she was in the bath last week?

**Dorcas**

And a cracking job she did too

Its still almost perfect

**Marlene**

Oh really??

Mine’s all chipped now

**Pete**

Nail varnish smells nice

**Remus**

Apparently

If you’re trying to wean yourself off heroin

Sniffing nail varnish can act as an intermediate

**Lily**

Umm Rem

How do you know that?

**Remus**

I literally have no idea

**James**

If you’re pregnant

Craving the smell of nail varnish could be a sign of PICA

**Marlene**

Which is…

**James**

Oh

It’s a psychological disorder that many pregnant women are susceptible too

It’s characterised by an appetite

for substances that are largely non-nutritive

the most common is pagophagia or geophagia

**Lily**

Ice and dirt?

**James**

Yes!

**Alice**

You two are like the ultimate intelligent power couple

I can just see it ten years from now

“The Nobel Prize in Physiology and Medicine 2030

was awarded jointly to Dr J Potter & Dr L Potter

for the discovery of ****”

**James**

Dr J Potter & Dr L Evans

**Pete**

Really?

Thought you’d be all over Dr Lily Potter

**James**

Socially maybe

If you fancy it Lils?

But professionally

She’ll have worked really hard

for an advanced degree and had papers published

and she deserves the recognition

independent from me

because although society in getting more progressive

there will always be a barrier that prohibits women

from advancing towards the top of a hierarchical corporation

the medical field included

**Remus**

Lily

Marry him

Like immediately

**Marlene**

☝

**Dorcas**

I am actually rendered speechless

**Alice**

Lils?

**Lily**

Umm

Yes?

I don’t really know what to say

**James**

What?

I’m just trying to not be a bastard

Moony I’ve taken your photo!

Check the old snapchat

He’s all wet and slippery for you

**Marlene**

Oh my God James

You’re giving me whiplash

One minute you’re discerningly perceptive and intelligent

And then next you’re a total himbo

**Pete**

You should try living with him

One night he was seeing how many Malteasers he could fit in his mouth

while at the same time discussing the economic dislocation

of EU fishermen that have traditionally fished in UK waters with Remus

**Dorcas**

How many could he fit?

**James**

I got to 26 before things started to get too messy

**Remus**

Yeh

There was quite a lot of dribble

And talking about dribble

Cheers for the snap Prongs

Although

I DO NOT appreciate the towel

Its blocking one of my more preferred bits of Pads

**Sirius**

Check again…

That picture of Minty was SO SWEET

Daddy has been spoiling her

I miss you both

😻

**Remus**

We miss you too

And that picture is MUCH more like it

**Lily**

And I’m guessing that’s Remus out…

**Remus**

Rude

But yep!

Bye!

**Sirius**

Wait!!

Send me a picture back?

**James**

Ahh my boys

so depraved

I’m so proud

**Dorcas**

This conversation has been exhausting

I’m going to have a nap

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE

\------------------------------

**Jily**

**Lily**

What you said just now

Was so thoughtful Jamie

Thank you

**James**

What?

About you keeping your name?

Nah

That’s what most people would say

**Lily**

I really don’t think it is

You’re so lovely

**James**

No you are

Anyway

I didn’t say it to make you think that

I just said it

I dunno

**Lily**

I know

That’s what makes it special

James?

**James**

Yeh I’m still here

Trying to think of something cool to say

**Lily**

You’re so funny

Want me to change the subject?

**James**

Yes please!

**Lily**

Ok

Well Remus texted earlier

Telling me to ask you

about New Years last year?

**James**

Oh my god Lils

It was meant nothing

I thought about you the whole time

I swear!

It was only a kiss

It lasted like one second

I promise you!

**Lily**

😂

James!

We weren’t even nearly together

this time last year

**James**

I know

But I still want you to know

that I thought about you the whole time

**Lily**

Ok

Well that is very sweet

**James**

I mean

I’ve pretty much spent the past 2 years thinking about you

when

You know

**Lily**

No not really

Know what?

**James**

That you’ve been more less exclusively starring

in my alone time fantasies

since we met

**Lily**

OMG James!

**James**

What?

I’m not ashamed

Gotta love yourself before you can properly love others

Isn’t that what they say?

**Lily**

I don’t know!

I can’t believe you’ve just told me

that you’ve been wanking over me

for the past two years

**James**

Well now you know

Not gonna lie Lils

There’s been some good ones

**Lily**

Oh my god

**James**

Yup

Suuuuper hot

Anyway

Carols from Kings is on

So I’ve got to go!

Call you in a bit flower

X


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut ahead...

‘Midnight!’ James pronounced, kicking at Sirius’ pyjama clad leg, ‘Merry Christmas, Padfoot!’

Sirius, who was lying next to him on the bed turned his head to look at him, ‘Happy Christmas Prongs,’ he said, taking James’ hand in his for a moment and giving it a brief squeeze, ‘Love you.’

‘Love you too,’ James replied, ‘Shall we have All I Want for Christmas is You?’ Sirius nodded and James reached for his phone, tapping a few times before placing it back down on his bedside table as the music started to play, both boys moving their bare feet from side to side in perfect synchronization. 

The song finished and they lay there a moment in the semi darkness, looking up at the glow-in-the-dark stars they had spent that evening putting on the ceiling until there came a buzz from somewhere near the end of the bed. 

‘That’ll be Re I expect,’ Sirius said just as James’ phone vibrated too. James rolled onto his side and picked up his phone,

‘Yep, he says Nadolig Llawen, which I’m guessing is Happy Christmas in Welsh?’

‘Absolutely no idea,’ Sirius answered, ‘But I can bet it sounds 100 times better when Re says it than you.’

‘Hey!’ James said affronted, ‘I can do a _great_ Remus.’ He pushed himself up into a sitting position, fluffing his pillow behind him and leant back clearing his throat. ‘Sirius, babe,’ he started in a terrible Welsh accent, ‘Oh god, fuck, don’t stop. Shit, right there!’

‘Oh my god James, what the hell?’ Sirius said sitting up and looking at him aghast, ‘Your Welsh accent is awful! Vocab not far off though.’

James looked at him for a second and then burst out laughing, ‘Go call your Welsh boy,’ he said kicking Sirius again.

‘I’m going, I’m going,’ Sirius sniggered, rolling off the bed and leaning down to grab his phone, seeing three messages from Remus waiting, ‘Cheers for the tea and chats love,’ he walked towards the door, ‘You want me to turn the light back on?’

‘Nah,’ James said, shuffling back down in bed and pulling the duvet up around him, ‘I’m gonna text Lils and then I’m for Bedfordshire.’

‘Right you are,’ Sirius said, ‘Night Jamie, Happy Christmas.’

‘Night Padfoot, tell Rem I said hi yeh?’

‘Course, sleep tight, see you for Christmas fun times in the morn.’

\------------------------------

Sirius padded down the landing to his bedroom, flicking on the light and closing the door behind him. He pulled off his t-shirt and pyjamas bottoms, throwing them onto his chair and clambered onto the bed in just his boxers, while simultaneously hitting the FaceTime button. 

Remus answered almost immediately, one hand holding his phone up, the other vigorously brushing his teeth. ‘Hey,’ he said through a mouthful of foam, ‘Sorry, won’t be a minute.’

‘No worries,’ Sirius said fondly, ‘I’m not going anywhere, have you just had a shower?’

Remus nodded as the screen went dark and Sirius could hear the sound of running water and then Remus spitting into the sink before his face reappeared. ‘Happy Christmas,’ he said with a bright smile, a smear of toothpaste on his jaw.

Sirius grinned, ‘Happy Christmas you. You ok?’

‘Yeh not bad, we had a bonfire earlier, wanted to get the smell of smoke out of my hair before bed.’ The picture blurred slightly as Remus shut the bathroom door and walked across the landing into his room where he dropped to his knees and shoved his phone under his desk, ‘Can you see?’ he asked.

Sirius squinted at his phone and saw two amber eyes looking back at him, ‘Oh hi baby girl!’ he said excitedly, as Remus tried to coax Minty out, ‘How are you? Are you having a nice time with Daddy?’

‘She’s having a great time,’ Remus replied, as he scooped her up into one arm and nuzzled the top of her head, ‘She’s got a new candy cane on a string which we’ve been playing with all evening.’

‘A new candy cane on a string?! You lucky girl,’ Sirius said enthusiastically, and Remus laughed, letting Minty down onto his bed, watching as she promptly jumped off and slunk back under the desk.

‘She likes it under there because the radiator’s on and her catnip fish is there,’ Remus told him as he propped his phone up on his chest of drawers and went about getting ready for bed, dropping the towel that was slung around his hips. Sirius wolf whistled and Remus gave his hips a little shimmy, making Sirius laugh, before pulling on a pair of tartan pyjama bottoms.

‘You’re ridiculous,’ Remus said, picking his phone back up and settling onto the bed, leaning back against the headboard. His voice was soft through the speakers, eyes loving, the curls on his head freshly washed. Sirius could see they were still a little damp and he reached a hand forward, aching to run his fingers though them.

Remus smiled, ‘Are you trying to ruffle my hair through the screen?’ he asked.

‘No,’ Sirius scoffed, and Remus raised an eyebrow at him. ‘Ergh, yes,’ he relented, ‘Fuck you for knowing me so well.’

Remus laughed, ‘It’s only because its exactly what you’d do if you were here.’

‘Yeh,’ Sirius agreed, ‘I love your hair.’

‘Needs a cut,’ Remus said absent mindedly, ‘It’s way too long.’

‘Don’t you dare!’ 

‘Oh I miss you,’ Remus said softly on a sigh, turning on to his side, so half his face was smooshed against his pillow.

Sirius sprawled out on the bed with a sigh of his own and for a few minutes the two boys just let the silence settle comfortably between them, listening to each other breathe.

‘Prongs say hi by the way,’ Sirius said eventually, breaking the quiet.

‘I know,’ Remus said, ‘He said he’d been working on his impressions of me?’

Sirius snorted, ‘Yes, well, I’ll let that be something for you to look forward to.’

Remus hummed, ‘I probably won’t let my expectations get too high then hmm?’

‘That’ll be for the best,’ Sirius agreed, turning onto his back and holding the phone up higher.

‘Mmm, that’s a nice view,’ Remus murmured, mirroring Sirius’ actions and rolling on to his back, phone held high above his head so Sirius could see his broad chest, ‘You’re so gorgeous.’ A finger came up to the screen as if Remus was trying to touch him.

‘Likewise,’ Sirius said. There was a pregnant pause and Sirius felt the atmosphere shift slightly. 

‘Do you want to take them off?’ Remus whispered suddenly and it took Sirius a few seconds to realise that Remus must mean his boxers. He swallowed, anticipation building, they’d never done this before.

He angled the phone with one hand and slipped the other underneath the elastic of his boxers, easing the material downwards to reveal his half hard cock. He could hear Remus’ breathing through the quiet as he gave himself a lazy stroke and then another, feeling himself fattening up further and looked back up at the screen at Remus, ‘You too?’

Remus groaned and pressed a hand to himself; Sirius could see the outline of his dick pressing up against the worn material before he complied, shoving the trousers down his thighs and kicking them off fully. 

‘Shit, we really doing this?’ Remus asked, even as he reached a hand down to give himself another squeeze.

‘Looks that way,’ Sirius replied continuing to stroke himself, ‘That ok?’

Remus laughed, ‘Not sure I could stop now, god I wish you could touch me.’

He paused for a moment, putting the phone down and disappearing from view; Sirius could hear the beside table drawer being pulled open and then Remus reappeared, hand shiny with lube.

‘Always prepared,’ Sirius joked, breaths coming harder now as he worked his hand up and down as Remus took his own cock back in hand, spreading the lube until his grip turned into a slick glide and his head thumped back against his pillow.

‘Fuck,’ Remus’ voice was low, ‘I don’t know why you’re surprised, I’ve been half hard since you sent that photo this morning. I had to go and see my _grandmother_ Sirius, and all I could think about was you with your dick in your hand all wet from the shower and,’ his voice cut off on a moan and Sirius felt arousal spike through his body as his hips shoved up involuntarily into his hand. 

‘Pads,’ Remus almost whined, he looked glorious, Sirius thought, head tipped back, a rosy flush creeping down his chest, ‘Tell me how you’d touch me.’ Sirius swallowed, mouth dry, ‘Please Pads.’

‘Oh god I want to kiss you,’ Sirius said, breath hitching as he moved a hand down to cup his balls, ‘I want to lick into your mouth, feel your tongue against mine. I love kissing you, I could do it forever.’

Remus keened, hand a blur on his cock, hips lifting up off the mattress, his phone wobbling dangerously above him, ‘Shit,’ he gasped, ‘I’m already so close.’

‘Stop moving your hand,’ Sirius said suddenly, and Remus did whine then, looking at Sirius imploringly before pulling his hand away, clenching and unclenching his fist and panting lightly. 

Sirius looked back at him, ‘Oh my god,’ he said, gripping the base of his cock tightly, ‘I’m not sure I’ve ever been this turned on in my entire life, you look amazing,’ He tore his eyes away from the screen and took a deep breath before looking back, ‘Put your fingers in your mouth.’

Remus’ eyes widened slightly but he did as he was told and brought two fingers up to his lips before slipping them in, up to the knuckle.

‘More,’ Sirius rasped, ‘All the way in.’

Remus pushed his fingers further into his mouth, gagging a little as they hit the back of his tongue, ‘That’s it,’ Sirius praised him, ‘Just like that. Imagine that it’s my cock, can you do that?’ Remus nodded and began to fuck his fingers in and out of his mouth; he looked obscene. 

‘Fuck Remus, you love it don’t you? Sucking me, feeling me in your mouth, making you gag.’ Remus moaned around his fingers, his hips fucking up into nothing, Sirius could see saliva pooling at the corners of his lips, it spurred him on. 

‘You look so good, are you imagining it’s me?’ Remus nodded again, eyes not moving from Sirius’. ‘Can you prop your phone up on the table? Sirius asked and Remus withdrew his fingers, scrambling up and leaning his phone against a glass making sure his body was in view before flopping back down. Sirius could see his cock, red and leaking on to his stomach. ‘Ok, touch yourself,’ he told him, ‘Go slow.’

Remus wasted no time in wrapping a hand around himself. ‘That’s it,’ Sirius encouraged, ‘Keep going, this is so fucking hot, you can go a bit faster, imagine that it’s my hand.’

‘Fuck,’ Remus gasped, tilting his hand back and closing his eyes.

‘Keep going,’ Sirius carried on, ‘Twist your wrist a bit, just like you like it, fuck yeh like that, like that.’

‘Yes, yes,’ Remus chanted, hand moving faster, ‘Shit, more.’

‘Umm, ok,’ Sirius said, feeling lightheaded as he slowed his own hand, desperately trying to keep his strokes light, ‘Do you, do you want to use your fingers?’

‘ _Yes_ ,’ Remus moaned.

‘Fuck, ok. Do you need more lube?’

‘No, I need you,’ Remus whimpered. Sirius took another deep breath, giving in and moving his hand faster, swiping his thumb over the head of his cock. ‘Sirius,’ Remus’ voice broke.

‘It’s ok Re, I’ve got you, I’ve got you,’ Sirius sounded out of breath, ‘Use your fingers, imagine it’s me, just stroking over you.’

‘Yes,’ Remus gasped, hand working himself faster as he reached down. Sirius couldn’t see what his fingers were doing, but he could imagine, and the thought made him make a little punched out grunt, ‘Shit.’

‘Sirius, Sirius.’

‘One finger Re, can you do that?’ Remus made a garbled noise of affirmation, Sirius could see his thighs trembling, ‘There you go, you’re so good Remus.’

‘So close,’ Remus gasped, eyes screwing shut.

‘Yeh I can tell,’ Sirius told him, ‘You look incredible. Come on Re, come for me, imagine,’ Sirius’ voice broke off, ‘Imagine it’s my fingers, you love my fingers.’

‘I do, I do,’ Remus agreed, ‘Love you, love you,’ and with those words Sirius watched him fall apart, coming in thick stripes over his belly.

‘Fuck, fuck, _fuck,_ ’ Sirius panted, ‘Re, look at me, want you to look at me.’

Remus snatched up the phone and brought it to his face, mismatched eyes boring into Sirius’, ‘Love you,’ he said again, and Sirius cut off his own cry with gritted teeth, losing hold of the phone as his orgasm washed over him.

He lay there for a second, chest heaving, before grabbling around to pick up his phone. 

‘There he is,’ Remus said as his face came back into view, ‘Fuck, I loved that.’ He sounded sated and soft and still a little turned on. All Sirius wanted to do was touch him.

‘God same,’ Sirius smiled at him, still breathing heavily ‘I’ve never seen you like that.’

Remus cocked his head to the side, ‘Like what?’

‘I dunno, you were all desperate and _tell me what to do._ Was hot.’

Remus rubbed the back of his neck, a gesture Sirius knew meant he was embarrassed, ‘Yeh well, thought it would be something a bit different.’

‘No, I’m not complaining Moons,’ Sirius assured him, ‘I just didn’t know it would be such a turn on.’

‘Yeh?’

‘Yes. Definitely. You imagining it was me.’

‘Pads,’ Remus said seriously, ‘I _always_ imagine it’s you.’ Sirius exhaled and closed his eyes, feeling his cock fattening up again. Remus looked at him, ‘Pads?’

‘Yeh Re?’

‘Do you want to go again?’

Sirius groaned, ‘ _Fuck yes._ ’


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christmas Day Pt. 1
> 
> I promise I will TRY and make this a little less ridiculous as it goes on!

**F.R.I.E.N.D.S**

**James**

HAPPY CHRISTMAS ALL!

**Alice**

You too!

Are you having a good day??

**Marlene**

James

Alice

Its 5AM

**James**

And?

You’re supposed to get up early on Christmas Day

Don’t you want to see if Father Christmas has been?

**Pete**

I’m going to tell him

**Remus**

Don’t you dare!

Leave Prongsie alone

Happy Christmas everyone!

**Marlene**

I can’t believe you’re awake Rem?!

What is happening

**Remus**

I haven’t actually been to sleep yet

**Dorcas**

Ooo

Been on the phone to your boooyfriiend?

**Remus**

Um yeh

**James**

They’ve literally been talking all night

Well

Not just talking…

**Remus**

Yes thank you James

FFS

I told Sirius we were being too loud

**Sirius**

Shit

Jam if you could hear us

does that mean mum & dad could too??

**James**

Yes

there is no chance they didn’t hear you 

at one point you moaned so loudly

i thought there might be an actual problem

**Als**

😂

R&S getting well into their phone sex

**Sirius**

It was FaceTime actually

and it was SO HOT

although less hot now 

in the cold light of day

knowing my parents heard 

**Remus**

Oh God

I’m never going to be able to look them in the eye again

**James**

Not we worry Rem

They love you

They’ll just think Padfoot has corrupted you

**Marlene**

**😂**

The very idea

that Sirius has corrupted Remus

So. Funny.

**Remus**

Hey!

**Sirius**

She’s not wrong though Remusaur

you can be pretty damn filthy

when you want to be

**Lily**

OMG

Guys

Its SO early

**James**

FLOWER!

HAPPY CHRISTMAS

Did you get my message?

**Lily**

The one you sent

At just after 4

The one that woke me up

From a very nice dream

**James**

About me?

**Lily**

Nah

About your dad

**Pete**

**😂**

**Alice**

HAHAHA

**Remus**

Wow…

Can't blame the girl though

Monty’s fit as

**Sirius**

Monts looks just like James?

**Remus**

Ya

I know

**James**

Thank you Remus

At least you love me

**Remus**

Always babe

**Sirius**

Umm hello?

**Remus**

Hi honey

Merry Christmas again!

**😘**

**Marlene**

You ok Rem??

**Remus**

Think I might need a nap

Or a protein bar

What helps replenish spunk?

**Dorcas**

Nope!

I’m out

Merry Christmas guys!

**Sirius**

No wait!!

Before you go

I have composed a little Christmas song for you all

Through the medium of emojis

**Lily**

Massively concerned

But continue

**Sirius**

*ahem*

You better 👀

You better🙅🏻😭

You better🙅🏻 😗 i'm telling you 🤷🏻

🎅🏻 is = 👊🏻==>💦

✌🏻 🏠🏡🏢🏫🏨

**Pete**

Oh God

\-----------------------------

**Dad**

**Remus**

Bringing sexy back is on the radio!

**Dad**

Let’s bring back some sexy in the bedroom tonight. It is Christmas after all.

**Remus**

DA!

Oh God!

Well I’m not sleeping tonight

**Dad**

Oh Remus, sorry love, I didn’t have my reading glasses on. I thought it was your mother.

**Remus**

Ok.

Well the original text

Was obviously meant for Sirius

in the first place

Let’s forget this ever happened

**Dad**

Is Bring Sexy Back your song? I need to familiarise myself with it if it’s going to be your first dance at your wedding. Will it be on The Spotify?

Remus?

**Remus**

Remus is currently unavailable

**Dad**

No matter, I’ve found it. It’s pretty cool. The lyrics are quite saucy aren’t they!

Does Sirius whip you if you misbehave?

**Remus**

BLOCKED

\------------------------------

**PB to my J**

**Moons**

Let’s try this again

Sexyback is on the radio!

**Pads**

My fav!

What I wouldn’t do

To have you thrusting your hips seductively

At me right now

**Moons**

What are you doing?

**Pads**

Having breakfast

Panettone and Bucks Fizz

Is yum

**Moons**

Preeety sure

Monty and Effy don’t want me

Thrusting around the breakfast table

Prongs probably wouldn’t mind

**Pads**

Prongs would join in

What are you doing?

**Moons**

I’m having my Christmas Bath

I’m using my candy cane bath bomb mum got us

Have you used yours yet?

**Pads**

No!

Is it nice?

**Moons**

SO nice

It smells all minty

and there are these little candy cane shaped sparkle things that come out

**Pads**

You mean confetti?

**Moons**

That’s the word!

Yes

Candy cane confetti

I’m having a fun time

**Pads**

Maybe I’ll use mine later!

Gtg

Its present time!

Will call you in a little bit

Love you

**Moons**

Love you too

Have fun!

\------------------------------

**Jily**

**Lily**

I'm going to call you in a bit

but v quickly texting

because my earrings are GORGEOUS James

Thank you!

**James**

You are so welcome

I'm glad you like them

**Lily**

I really do

I love the blue

**James**

Me too!

I like sapphires because they can be more easily traced

Yours are from a small family run mine in Madagascar

So i know they're ethically sourced

**Lily**

What?

James

Are these real??

**James**

Yuh

Course

What else would they be?

**Lily**

Fuck me

**James**

Well i mean

I'm happy to give you that

for Christmas too

😉

**Lily**

Oh my God shut up

Let me process 

**James**

Lils it's really not a big deal

They were nice

and I'd thought you'd like them

and i'm incredibly fortunate to be able to afford them

Just enjoy them

**Lily**

Ok

Well they're beautiful

and i really do love the blue 

sapphires i mean

people usually get me green 

because of my eyes

or red because of the hair

**James**

Umm

who is this 'people' you talk of?

because i will hunt them down

I'm prepared to fight to the death for you

I benched 225 this yesterday morn

so i fancy my chances

**Lily**

Chill Jamie

I mean like 

family and stuff

also you do know 225 

doesn't actually mean anything to me

**James**

Oh ok

I will allow family and stuff

and 225 is incredibly impressive

ish

very ish

**Lily**

You do make me laugh

You having a nice day?

**James**

Really nice

Love being at home

And Sirius is just SO happy

like all the time

which means Rem is happy

and the both of them being happy

makes me so happy

and you make me happy

and i had Panetone for breakfast

which is just the best

**Lily**

All the happy's

i'm glad

anyway 

I better go

Petunia and Walrus face have just arrived

but i'll call you later?

**James**

**🦭**

That's the closest i could get

and yes please

will be waiting

**Lily**

Fab

speak in a bit

**James**

Bye Lils

**Lily**

Oh wait

really quickly J

**James**

Yeh?

**Lily**

You know what you said yesterday

about thinking about me?

**James**

Yes...

**Lily**

Well

I thought about you last night

If you get my drift

**James**

Nngghhh!


	5. Chapter 5

**PB to my J**

**Moons**

I love my card from Minty

Her little cute paws!

Although I think Da

was little disturbed that it says

‘Dear Daddy’ inside

**Pads**

Why??

You are her Daddy

You are Daddy Remus

**Moons**

Yes

but

You know what

Nevermind

**Pads**

Did you open the present?

**Moons**

No?

I didn’t see a present

We did presents before you left?

**Pads**

Yeh I know

But I popped a little reminder

of me for you

underneath the tree

😉

**Moons**

Oh ok!

Will go and have a rummage

\------------------------------

**Basic Bitches**

**Dorks**

Marls

You are so naughty!

We said we were only gonna do the Secret Santa pressies

**Marls**

I know

But you liked it so much!

I couldn’t resist

It’s only a painting after all

**Dorks**

Well its freakin awesome

I love it

I’m gonna get it framed all proper like

**Marls**

Ooo fancy

I was thinking it would look nice framed in black?

**Dorks**

Yes!

You’re spot on

Will make it look all edgy

An edgy pressie

from my edgy bessie

**Marls**

Please do not refer to me

as your ‘bessie’ ever again

**Dorks**

Sister from another mister?

BFF?

Bosom Buddy?

**Marls**

I will reluctantly accept BFF

And I’m not edgy!

I mean I’d like to be edgy

But I just don’t think I can pull it off

You however

You are an enigma

**Dorks**

How am I an enigma??

I’m like the most boring person

I study maths for christs sake

Maths.

**Marls**

Hmmm

\------------------------------

**My Support Bras**

**Marls**

Als, Lils back me up here

Dorco is an enigma

Right?

**Als**

Totally yes

I mean I beyond adore you D

but I literally know nothing about you

**Lils**

OMG

How have I only just realised this??

ITS SO TRUE

**Dorko**

No its not!

**Marls**

Literally

Things I know about Dorcas

If that even is your real name

**Als**

**😆**

**Marls**

1\. You do maths

2\. Your name is Dorcas

3\. Your favourite colour is yellow?

**Lils**

Oh oh

4\. You love KFC

That’s it

That’s all I’ve got

**Als**

5\. You have a brother

**Marls**

6\. We love you

**Dorko**

Lol

Perhaps I’m just not that interesting

**Als**

No but that’s just it

How are you so interesting

When I literally know nothing about you?

**Marls**

See

Enigma

**Lils**

Yup

Dorcas ‘The Enigma’ Meadows

Might start calling you Iggy

**_Alice_** changed the nickname for **_Dorko_** to **_Iggy_**

****

**Iggy**

You’re not going to believe this

but

my middle name is Ignatia

**Als**

Fuck off

**Iggy**

I’m serious!!

**Lils**

No way!

Well Iggy is perf then

**Marls**

I can’t believe I didn’t know that!

That’s such a beautiful name

**Iggy**

Thanks

Personally I think Dorcas Ignatia is a bit much

**Marls**

No its cool

**Lils**

I agree

Very

Enigmatic

**Iggy**

**🙄**

Yeh yeh

Anyway Lils

Show us the goods

What did J get you for Christmas??

**Lils**

**Marls**

Good god

Are those the real deal??

**Als**

This is James Potter we’re talking about

Of course they are!

**Lils**

They are ethically sourced

from a small family run mine

in Madagascar

**Marls**

You’re from a small family run mine

in Madagascar

**Iggy**

That boy continues to amaze me

**Lils**

Same here Iggy

Same here

**\------------------------------**

**Basic Bitches**

**Marls**

She’s a smitten kitten isn’t she

**Dorks**

Yup

She lurves him

I’m really happy for them

**Marls**

Samesies

I’m glad he sorted his shit out

And stopped being such a weirdo around her

**Dorks**

God same

Remember in second year

When Sirius made us do that obstacle course thing

And he was on her team

and tried to jump headfirst through that swing

but instead just smacked his face on the wood??

**Marls**

OMFG

I’d forgotten about that

That was f-ing hilarious

Rem was so mad with him

Didn’t he have to have stitches?

**Dorks**

Yeh I think so

Good times

Good times

**Marls**

And how times change

Also

**_Marls_ ** _changed the nickname for **Dorks** to **Dorcas Ignatia**_

**Dorcas Ignatia**

Very funny

**Marls**

What?

It’s such a nice name!

**Dorcas Ignatia**

Oh ok

Thanks I guess

 **_Dorcas Ignatia_ ** _changed the nickname for_ **_Marls_ ** _to_ **_Marlene Elisabeth_ **

****

**Marlene Elisabeth**

It’s not as good though is it

**Dorcas Ignatia**

Yes it is

Elisabeth with an s

Edgy…

**Marlene Elisabeth**

😂

We’ve gone full circle

Anyways better go

Rory’s nagging me to play charades

**Dorcas Ignatia**

Ahh charades

The game that can make or break a family

Have fun

Happy Christmas Marly

**Marlene Elisabeth**

Happy Christmas Dorky

**\------------------------------**

**PB to my J**

**Pads**

Did you find it??

**Moons**

I did

You’re such a sap

Mum honest to god cooed when I opened it

she’s hung it on the hook in the kitchen

We’re going to sit and look through it later

**Pads**

What the fuck??

Remus!

**Moons**

What?

January is such a nice picture of us

I actually look ok for once

**Pads**

Ok firstly

You always look ‘ok’

but secondly

get it out of the fucking kitchen!

**Moons**

Why?

Its just a calendar

Calendars go in kitchens

**Pads**

Remus

For all that is holy

go and get the calendar out of the kitchen

**Moons**

Chill Pads

Its only going to be mum and da who see it really

**Pads**

Ok fine

Leave it in there

Just maybe go and look at

lets say

December’s picture

**Moons**

Ok…

FUCKING HELL SIRIUS

**Pads**

Told you

Will you take it out the kitchen now?

**Moons**

Obviously!!

Sirius why??

There’s actual mistletoe tied around your actual penis

Oh God

I can’t believe I was going to sit down with my parents to look through this

Who even took that photo?

**Pads**

Alice

But Frank had to help me tie the mistletoe

I couldn’t get the angle

Alice was going to

but then claimed that Frank’s penis would get jealous

so she made him do it

**Moons**

You Sirius Black are a liability

**Pads**

But…

**Moons**

Ergh but

You do look incredibly yummy in the photo

**Pads**

Why thank you

They’re not all dirty

I did a mix

**Moons**

Yes I can see that

Hence letting my mum put it in the kitchen

Where is March’s photo from?

**Pads**

Oh it’s one of Prongs’

from his Blupin Bulletin

I thought it was cute!

**Moons**

Its very

I like that Minty is all snuggled up with us

We look very domesticated

I think that might be my fav

**Pads**

…

**Moons**

Oh fuck me

Yep screw March

I like July best

**Pads**

There’s my boy

**\------------------------------**

**Lupin Family Chat**

**Hope**

Happy Christmas Sirius dear

**Sirius**

And you!

Looking forward to facetiming you all later on

**Hope**

Yes, Lyall got a new Ipad and is desperate to try it out. Remus has been helping him set it up.

**Remus**

Yes

Its been an experience

**Sirius**

Oh amazing!

Well I’ll let you call me then!

**Lyall**

Merry Christmas son. Hope the day is treating you well

**Sirius**

Yes its great thanks Lyall

We’re just about to watch the Queen

**Lyall**

Smart lad

**Hope**

Sirius, we were wondering whether The Potter’s would relinquish you for a couple more days. We’ve got all the Lupin’s coming round for a bit of a bash on the 29th and they’d love to meet you!

**Sirius**

Oh really?

**Lyall**

Rem had a slight case of the proverbial heart eyes when his cousins were interrogating him on Christmas Eve. 

**Remus**

I did not!

**Hope**

Oh Lyall don’t tease the boy. Let him show off his dashing chap.

**Sirius**

Well I do like being referred to as Re’s dashing chap

I’d love to come

**Hope**

Fantastic. Will you drive? Or would you like some money for the train ticket?

**Sirius**

Oh that’s so kind

But I’ll drive

If it’s ok with you all

I’ll stay until we go back up to Edinburgh?

**Lyall**

I don’t think Remus will have any complaints there

**Remus**

No thank you Da

**Hope**

Of course you can cariad, you are welcome always, we'll fill the car up before you go back up. Signing off now, more Howells due any minute!

**Sirius**

Tell Granny Howell I say hi!

Merry Christmas!

**Lyall**

Oh and Sirius?

**Sirius**

Yes?

**Lyall**

I liked your calendar, especially October. It was very, shall we say ‘creative.’

**Sirius**

Oh god no

**Lyall**

Oh god yes

Remus is a lucky, lucky man

**😉**

**Remus**

Who the fuck taught dad emojis?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I had a perfectly crafted, lovely, fluffy Jily chapter for you but instead you've got whatever mess is below. I've drunk quite a lot of champagne... I apologise. Happy New Year all, i'm off to my Zoom New Years Party now!

**We Who Shall Not Be Named**

**Prongs**

Re-moose

Why is Sirius rolling around on the floor

calling for death to be upon him??

**Moony**

Oh dear

Well Prongsie

There MAY have been a slight incident

involving my dad

and his nethers

**Prongs**

Umm

what please?

**Moony**

Sirius babe

do you want to do the honours?

**Pads**

No

I am dead

woe is me

my carefully constructed persona

of Remus' sweet and innocent boyfriend

gone

just like that

**Wormtail**

WTF are we talking about?

and for the record

sweet and innocent

are two words that i'd never put with Padfoot

**Moony**

Da's seen Sirius' dong

and he is mucho upset about it

**Prongs**

😂

I v much enjoy

Remus using the word dong

**Wormtail**

Yeh so i've defintely missed something here

Padfoot why did you get naked for Lyall?

**Padfoot**

I didn't get naked for Lyall!

Remus

he said he liked October

OCTOBER

did you even see October

**Moony**

Oh babe

yeh

i did

**Wormtail**

What's October??

Can someone explain pls

**Moony**

Pad's did a Pad's

and may have made me a calendar

of sorts

**Prongs**

Oh yeh!!

He borrowed some photos

What was October?

**Padfoot**

Well October wasn't one a borrowed one

it was a carefully crafted and extremely creative take

on a carved pumpkin

**Wormtail**

Oh god

I'm not sure i like where this is going

Unlike Lyall it would seem

**Padfoot**

Padfoot is still dead

I however am looking through his photos...

There are some cracker's of you here Rem...

ALL of you

**Moony**

FFS Prongs

**Padfoot**

OMG i'm DYING

I've found it

You ready Petey?

**Wormtail**

I'm really not sure i am

**Padfoot**

**Wormtail**

God good Sirius

How did you even do that

I've got to admit

i'm a little impressed

**Padfoot**

Alice helped

:(

She said it was the next hot trend

**Moony**

Well

She wasn't wrong

It's very hot

**Padfoot**

Yeh?

**Moony**

Yeh

Well i mean

my dad liked it

so...

**Prongs**

HAHAHAHAH

You've offically broken him Rem

I think this might be it

Nevermind Padfoot

At least you've got a nice bum

**Padfoot**

I don't have a 'nice' bum

my arse is superb

thank you very much

just ask my Remusaur

**Wormtail**

I think we'll take your word for it

\------------------------------

**Jily**

**Lily**

Now a good time to call?

**James**

Yep

Free as a bird

_Incoming call from Flower_

**Hey you**

**You ok?**

Yeh all good

give me a sec

am just going to my room

Hi Jamie

Happy Christmas

**Happy Christmas Lils**

**you had a good day?**

Yeah it's been ok

made exponentially better when Vernon had to leave

I swear that man's such a dick

**Ergh that sucks**

I know

I'm got no idea what Petunia sees in him

but oh well

let's talk about something else

what you been doing this eve?

**Not a lot**

**Did a couple of quizzes with mum and dad**

**teased Sirius for making Moony a naked calendar**

I'm sorry what?

**Yep**

**and in classic Sirius fashion**

**he didn't actually tell Remus**

**who then proceeded to open it in front of his parents**

Oh my god that's hilarious!

**I know**

**he's dying**

**apparently Lyall sent him a message about it**

**complimenting his arse or something**

Haha!

Why is that such a Sirius thing to happen?

**I know**

**it really is**

**I swear together those two are a total liability**

They've definitely got form

I mean no-one is going to forget Halloween in a hurry are they?

**Nope**

Where is he now?

**I think he's facetiming**

**which I'm pretty sure is a euphemism for something**

**if the past couple of nights are anything to go by**

Oh God

**Yup**

**So**

**You ever thought about doing anything like that?**

Smooth Jamie

**Aren't I always?**

Course sweetie

And i'm not sure

Have you?

**I mean yeah**

**It's hard NOT to think about it**

**when you can hear them going at it**

Did you want to

I don't know

Did you want to try?

**I'm not sure**

**do you?**

I don't know

Maybe?

**This is really awkward isn't it**

God yes

I think we should do it

I mean how hard can it be?

**That's what she said last night**

Fuck's sake James!

**Sorry sorry**

**I'm nervous**

**Right**

**let's do it**

**come ooonnn James**

You are so weird

You start

**Erm**

**I don't know what to say**

Just say what you'd do to me 

If i was there

**I want to lick you up and down**

**until you say stop?**

Ummm

**Let me play with your body baby**

**make you real hot**

James

Are you quoting song lyrics?

**Let me do all the things you want me to do**

**Cause tonight baaaaby, I wanna get _freaky_ with yoooou!**

Oh my God James stop

I've got a stitch

You really can't sing can you

**That do anything for you babycakes?**

You sound so pleased with yourself you ridiculous boy

You're such an idiot 

**Yeh**

**Sorry i panicked**

**and that was the first thing that came into my head**

**I'm not even sure when i last heard that song**

Me neither

I don't think phone sex is for us

**No**

**Me neither**

**Nevermind hey!**

**It's always good to have something to work on**

Yup

Jamie can i call you back in 5?

Mum's calling me

**Course**

**I'm gonna go and get me some Christmas cheese in the meantime**

Fab

Bye J

**Bye Flower**

\------------------------------

**Wolfbucks**

**Jamie**

Can i ask you something?

**Rem**

Yeh course

What's up?

**Jamie**

It's a sex thing

**Rem**

Oh ok

Go for it

Although if it's about the ins and outs of women

I'm probs not your best bet!

**Jamie**

Lol

Have you ever seen a woman naked?

No that's not important

Although now i've asked

I am actually interested to hear the answer

**Rem**

Your so wierd

Yes i've seen a woman naked

**Jamie**

In a sex way?

**Rem**

Eww no

No offence

**Jamie**

**😂**

I can't imagine you getting down and dirty with a girl

**Rem**

I'm rather hoping you can't imagine me 

getting down and dirty at all

**Jamie**

But alas Rem

The walls at uni are thin

And i'm p Sirius isn't the shower atm

because he fancied a wash before bed

**Rem**

Fair

Anyway

You wanted help with a sex thing?

**Jamie**

Yes!

Basically

the phone sex thing

how do you do it?

**Rem**

As in

how do i persoannly do it

or how do you do it gernally?

**Jamie**

Generally

**Rem**

Umm

I don't really know

I guess just start

and see where the mood takes you

you can't really plan it I don't think

**Jamie**

Yes

but what happens if the mood takes you 

to 90s RnB?

**Rem**

What? 

Oh God James

What did you do?

**Jamie**

Well I thought it would be hot

to try the phone sex thing

but before i knew what was happening

i was telling Lily that i wanted to 

Lick her up and down until she said stop

**Rem**

This has taken a hideous turn for the worst

Why James?

**Jamie**

I don't know!

I panicked

and the i couldn't stop

and ended up just serenading her

and then she couldn't stop laughing

😥

and then her mum called her

and i went to get some cheese

it was good

it was like a Wensleydale but it had apricots in it

**Rem**

Ooo yum!

Where was it from

that sounds so good

**James**

M&S i think

it was in one of those Christmas cheese platters

**Rem**

Oh i love those!

We should get some to take back with us

**James**

OMG we so should!

We should have a wine and cheese night!

**Rem**

Yes!

That's such a good idea

Why are we talking about cheese again?

Oh yeh

phone sex

**James**

Oh yeh

Sorry

So yeh

WHAT DO I REMUS

Because as Another Level said

tonight baby, i want to get freaky with Lily

**Rem**

Right ok

Well

i think the main thing

is to make it a bit more realistic

like

would you actually lick her up and down

until she says stop?

**James**

I would not

**Rem**

Ok

so what would you do?

**James**

Umm

She likes having her hair played with?

And her inner thighs stroked

It makes her go all moany

which is SO HOT

**Rem**

Well then you start with that

Then what

**James**

I normally just ask her what she wants me to do

**Rem**

Course you do

You angel

You can add that in too

i mean start with the hair thing

then add the thighs

and then ask her

if you were there

what would she want you to do

**James**

I can def do that

I like doing things for her

makes me happy

Cheers Rem!

**Rem**

You're welcome!

Let me know how you get on?

**James**

Obviously!

Love you 

**Rem**

You too

X


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Jily chapter you were supposed to get on New Year's before the last one happened - i'm still really sorry about that. Reading it back in the cold light of day, yeh, twas a bit weird...
> 
> Hope you enjoy this one!

**We Who Shall Not Be Named**

**Prongs**

Lads!

I’m back in the homestead

Whacked the heating up

Sorted Minty’s shit out

Threw away the dead Poinsettia

How much longer do I suffer alone?

**Padfoot**

Prrooongs

We’ve just crossed the border

Going to swing by and pick Petey up from the station

And then we’ll be there

To shower you in hugs and kisses

**Prongs**

Aces

Missed your faces

We staying in tonight?

Mum sent me back with food

**Wormtail**

Yaaas

Love your mums cooking

You not going to see the future Mrs P?

**Prongs**

Nah

Bros before Hos

Innit

**Wormtail**

You’ve already seen her today

haven’t you

**Prongs**

Yep!

Went there first

It was a Good Time

**Padfoot**

What happens

If your bro

Is also your ho?

**Prongs**

Then I imagine you get

A pretty good discount

on brojobs

**Padfoot**

Sweet

Re says we’ll be an hour max

**Prongs**

How's his road rage been?

**Padfoot**

Not gonna lie Jam

Its not been the best

We’ve had some particularly choice expletives

Some highlights include

Jizzmonger

and

Masturtwat

**Wormtail**

**😂**

**Prongs**

Classic Rem

Can’t wait to give him and his filthy mouth

a good snuggle

\------------------------------

**My Ride or Die**

**Siriusly**

Me too Jam

Me too

But you know

With no clothes on

**Jam**

You’ve been with him

the past 3 days??

Don’t tell me he’s not been putting out

He’s like the most sexual being I know

**Siriusly**

Firstly

Please don't describe Moons

as sexual

You know how i feel about that word

**🤢**

And secondly

Obviously he’s be putting out

H&L are ridic chill about all of that

its just

the house isn't big

and its been 

a bit hand over mouth

literally

**Jam**

HAHAHA

You noisy bugger

**Siriusly**

I mean its not ideal having your in laws

hearing you bone their pride and joy

and for some reason i just can't shut up

so a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do

although I’m not complaining about that

Love Re’s hands

**Jam**

So what you’re trying to tell me

Very inarticulately

Is that you and Moony

Are going to be having loud sex tonight

**Siriusly**

So loud

The way he says Sirius

And tells me I’m pretty

fuck

**Jam**

Want me to change the subject…?

**Siriusly**

Yes please

Something unsexy

**Jam**

Earlier

I sneezed when I was taking a mouthful of coffee

and some snot went in the coffee

but no-one else was here

so I drunk it anyway

tasted salty

**Siriusly**

That’ll do it

That is grim

**Jam**

I know right?

\------------------------------

**Jily**

**James**

Did you find your book??

**Lily**

Yes!

It was in my bag

**🙄**

**James**

Ahh good

Panic over

Miss you

**Lily**

You saw me less than an hour ago

**James**

Yes

But I’m still catching up

From all the missing of you

I did in the hols

**Lily**

You saw me then too!

**James**

Not the same though was it

**Lily**

Guess not

Your mum is LOVELY

But she was also

a massive cockblock

**James**

OMG

I’m telling her you said that

**Lily**

NO YOU ARE NOT JAMES FLEAMONT

I’d actually perish

Although pretty sure your mum

Has no idea what a cockblock is

She’d think it was some new fangled thing

To keep the chickens in or something

**James**

HA!

She actually would

I would also rather die than say the word cock

In a non poultry sense

In front of my mum

She DEF thinks we’re just cuddling

When you’re in my room

**Lily**

Yes

I’d gathered from the many cups of tea

She brought us

Without knocking

**James**

Yep.

Anyway

I’m waiting…

**Lily**

Ergh fine

I miss you too

Making me talk about feelings and shit

**James**

That’s better

You know I love to talk about emotions

Its my Jam

**Lily**

You’re my Jam

**James**

**😀**

Well that’s just made my day

What’re you lot up to this eve?

**Lily**

Not sure yet

Probs get a Chinese

And watch crappy tele

You?

**James**

Same

Although I have already been warned

By Sirius

That him and Rem are going to be having

Very loud sex

So I guess I’ve got that to look forward to

**Lily**

What a treat

Audiobook lined up?

**James**

Yep!

Parents got me some new ones

For Christmas

I’m mega excited

I’m going to do Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy first!

Then I can go to sleep

Imagining what I’d do if I could explore the galaxy

With an alien pal

Although I’d really miss you

And my boys

**Lily**

That is too adorable

I love you

You’re so cute

**James**

What?

**Lily**

That’s super cute

About you exploring the galaxy

**James**

No not that

The ‘I love you’ bit?

**Lily**

What I love you bit?

**James**

Lily

**Lily**

Got to go!

BYE!

**James**

No!!

Fuck that

I’m coming over

\------------------------------

**My Support Bras**

**Lils**

CODE RED

I’ve done something stupid

**Marls**

What?

Are you ok??

**Als**

You ok?

**Dorky**

Are you alright?

**Lils**

Shit yes I’m fine

I just texted James

Something that really shouldn’t have been in a text

And now he’s coming over

And I can’t deal

**Marls**

FFS Lils

I thought something really bad had happened!

What did you say?

**Als**

OMG

Did you send him a dirty pic

And his mum saw it??

**Lils**

No!

God that would be horrendous

Now I’m mortified about that

And that hasn’t even happened!

**Dorky**

Chill Lil

Just do the usual

‘Sorry that was meant for someone else’ job

**Lils**

Yeh

Can’t do that

**Marls**

How come?

It can’t be that bad

Unless you told him you loved him or something

**Lils**

…

**Als**

Lily…

We can see the three dots

Appearing and disappearing

**Dorky**

Oh Lily

You told him you loved him

Via text didn’t you

**Lils**

Maybe

_*insert screenshot*_

_Yep!_

_Parents got me some new ones_

_For Christmas_

_I’m mega excited_

_I’m going to do Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy first!_

_Then I can go to sleep_

_Imagining what I’d do if I could explore the galaxy_

_With an alien pal_

_Although I’d really miss you_

_And my boys_

**_Lily_ **

_That is too adorable_

_I love you_

_You’re so cute_

**Als**

AHHHH!

Lily!

You love him!!

**Marls**

Did you mean it though?

Or was it a ‘haha I love you’

Type thing?

**Lils**

I don’t know

At the time it was more of a

You’re so cute I want to squish you I love you

But now I’m thinking

That yeh

I meant it

**Dorky**

Then what’s the issue

I can guarantee

He’s going to say it back

**Lils**

Yeh?

**Marls**

YES!

**Lils**

Shit

Ok

I’m chill

No worries!

Need to change out of my pyjamas

**Als**

You’re such a dweeb

Let us know how it goes!

\------------------------------

**We Who Shall Not Be Named**

**Prongs**

Chaps

I’m just popping over to Lils’

So if you get in and I’m not there

That’s where I am

Won’t be long!

**Wormtail**

No probs

**Padfoot**

Everything ok?

**Prongs**

More than

Explain later

\------------------------------

Lily jumped as someone began hammering on the front door and looked down at her watch, ‘Bloody hell James, that was quick,’ she muttered to herself, hurriedly making her way into the hall, stopping briefly to glance at her reflection in the large mirror Alice had hung there. She fleetingly wished she had bothered to change out of her ratty pyjama bottoms before taking a deep breath and pulling open the front door to reveal a very sweaty and very out of breath James Potter, who was leaning forwards, hands on his knees.

He straightened up when he saw her, his eyes bright, a look of pure joy on his face, ‘I love you too,’ he almost shouted and swept her into his arms, bending to kiss her soundly on the mouth.

‘Oh my God Jamie, you’re so sweaty,’ Lily complained, pulling away but letting a smile spread across her face.

‘Well that’s not a very nice thing to say to the love of your life it is?’ James joked, still grinning. 

There was a slight pause whilst Lily tried to gather her thoughts to say something meaningful but in that split second the smile faltered on James’ face.

‘You meant it, right?’

Lily opened her mouth to speak but James barrelled on, ‘Oh fuck you didn’t did you? It was a spur of the moment thing wasn’t it? Shit. I’m so sorry, I’m such an idiot. I’m gonna go and pretend I haven’t just made a complete dick of myself in front of my perfect woman. Fuck.’ He turned to leave, looking mortified before Lily grabbed his hand and yanked him back towards her.

‘James!’ she said exasperatedly, ‘If you could actually let me speak!’

‘Sorry,’ James mumbled, refusing to meet her eyes, looking crushed. It was so unlike him that it made her heart hurt.

‘Jamie look at me?’ she requested, and after a second he begrudgingly looked down at her. ‘Oh come here.’ She grabbed the front of his shirt, tugging him down just enough so that she could reach up on her toes and whisper into his ear, ‘I love you James Fleamont Potter, you ridiculous human being’

‘Yeh?’ he said cautiously, a hint of smile turning the corners of his mouth.

‘Yes,’ Lily affirmed.

James whooped and launched himself at her, she shrieked as he picked her up and twirled her around before putting her down and running a hand through his hair, ‘Fuck me. Lily Evans loves me.’

‘Yeh she does,’ Lily agreed, feeling so happy she thought she might burst.

He bent to kiss her again, short, sweet kisses that made Lily’s chest flutter. ‘I love you,’ kiss, ‘So much,’ kiss, ‘You’re perfect.’ Lily laughed into his mouth and hooked a leg around his thigh until he got the message and hoisted her up so she could wrap her legs around his waist, giving her the angle she wanted to deepen the kiss.

James moaned into her mouth and pressed her back against the front door, stumbling as the door flew backwards and crashed into the wall behind.

‘Smooth Potter,’ she sniggered.

‘Less talking, more kissing,’ James chastised as he moved his hands round to her arse and squeezed.

‘You need… to go…’ Lily murmured into his mouth trying to pull away as James held onto her more tightly and shook his head,

‘Don’t wanna.’

Lily laughed again, untwining her legs from around him so her feet were dangling several inches off the ground as James refused to let go, ‘J put me down.’

James pouted but relinquished his grip, putting her gently down, taking his time to wind the ends of her red hair round his fingers. ‘You’re so fit,’ he whined, ‘The boys won’t miss me.’

‘Yes they will,’ Lily chuckled, ‘And this morning you wouldn’t shut up about how excited you were to see them.’

‘Ergh, fine,’ James threw his arms up dramatically, but he was smiling.

‘Go on you,’ Lily said, giving him a little push backwards. James put both hands over his heart and let out a sigh and Lily rolled her eyes fondly.

‘I’m going, I’m going,’ he said, coming forward to kiss her once more. Lily relaxed into it before stepping back again,

‘No, I’m cutting you off, go!’

James laughed, walking backwards down the path, his whole face one big smile, ‘Call you later?’

‘Yes please.’

‘Love you.’

‘Love you too.’

James blew her a kiss, turning and breaking into a light jog, getting a few yards down the road before calling over his shoulder, ‘You look well fit in those pyjamas by the way, they make your arse look amazing.’ The elderly couple who were walking past looked at him in alarm.

‘Oh my God James, just go!’ Lily called back, blushing furiously.

‘I love you.’

‘I love you too, you big dork.’ 


	8. Chapter 8

**My Support Bras**

**Als**

LILY

Is it done???

We’re dying here

**Marls**

Normally

I’d say that was just Al dramatics

But I’m actually putting off going to the loo

In case you text

**Lils**

It’s done

I was going to play it cool

But his little face

I couldn’t do it

**Dorky**

AND??

**Lils**

I told him

😊

**Als**

Oh maaa gawwwd

What did he say?

Did he cry?

Did you embrace passionately?

**Dorky**

What Al says

**Lils**

Calm Al

He said I love you too

No he didn’t cry

Yes there was embracing

**Als**

Passionate embracing?

**Lils**

Semi passionate

**Marls**

Ahhhh!

Who’d have thunk

Lily Evans and James Potter

This time 3 months ago

You hated his guts

**Lils**

I didn’t hate his guts!

I just

Oh I don’t know

**Marls**

I’m teasing babe

Suuupper happy for you

He’s a dream really isn’t he

**Lils**

Yeh

He is

\-----------------------------

**F.R.I.E.N.D.S**

**Marlene**

Right lads

ETA for this eve pls?

**Remus**

Umm

7ish?

Or is that lamely early

**Marlene**

Well its’ not like you need to impress anyone

By trying to be cool Rem

**Sirius**

All the important people

Already think you’re cool

And anyway

We’ll likely be late

Because of who we are as people

**Remus**

Spot on babe

Ok

So we’ll say 7

And see you about 8?

**Dorcas**

Why not just say 8 then??

**Alice**

God Dorco

If they say 8

Then what they really mean is 9

And so on

Its like an infinite loop

**Dorcas**

Ok…

My mathematical brain is not enjoying this

But whatever

I plan to fry it tonight anyway

With much tequila

**James**

YES to much tequila

I’m gonna bring that dodgy bottle of Amaretto

and we can make cocktails

**Peter**

No offence Jam

But you are no mixologist

**James**

I am OFFENDED

**Marlene**

He’s not wrong though James

Remember that time you tried to make

White Russians

Whatever the hell they are

And you used actual milk

**Remus**

Oh god

I’d forgotten about that

That was the night we all got ill

And Sirius had to throw up in between James’ legs

Cos he was already on the loo

but the sick was coming out

**Dorcas**

That

That is the worst thing

I have ever heard

**Sirius**

Yeh

It was bad

We try not to talk about it too much

**Lily**

Why weren’t you just sick in the sink?

Or the bin??

There are so many other options!

**Pete**

Oh I’d shot gunned the bin

And Moony was vomming in the sink

It went all over the toothbrushes

And then he got so lightheaded he fainted

and cracked his head on the way down

**James**

Oh my God yes

And Padfoot cried because he thought he was dead!

**Sirius**

Hey!

I was delirious

But also yes

there was a genuine panic that he was dead

there was a lot of blood

**Remus**

I’ve still got the scar to prove it

It wasn’t the best time

**Alice**

I’m going to go out on a limb here

And say James maybe leave that Amaretto at home?

**James**

Right you are!

Although this time at least I could stitch Moony up

**Marlene**

Your stitching would be immaculate

But you’d also probs stitch your name into his face

**James**

Both of those are a possibility yes

**Lily**

ANYWAY

We’re all sorted food/drink wise

But we thought it would be nice

If

**Dorcas**

We?

**Lily**

Humph fine!

I thought it would be nice

If instead of making resolutions

that we no no-one is going to stick to

at midnight we could share one thing

that we hope to achieve next year?

**James**

Amazing!

I have SO MANY ideas for this

Nothing like a bit of self improvement

**Marlene**

I knew this would be

Right up James’ alley

**Sirius**

Ahhh I see

This is just a clever ruse

For Evans to see

what exactly is up James’ alley

**Pete**

Perhaps Padfoot could work towards

Not being such a filthy bugger

99% of the time

**Alice**

**😆**

Literal impossibility

**Sirius**

Reeeeemus

People are being mean to me

**Remus**

Oh poor baby

Want to come keep me company?

I’m just about to top up the hot water

I’m not ready to come out yet

**Sirius**

Ooo yes please

And as I’m not allowed to talk about Prongs’

Am allowed to see

what’s up your alley?

**Lily**

NO!

**Alice**

I can’t

**Dorcas**

I actually couldn’t chose

which part of this conversation

has scarred me more

**Marlene**

For crying out loud

**James**

Want to come for a walk Petey?

I feel things are about to get slippery

**Pete**

Abso-fucking-lutely

**Lily**

Just a thought

As part of tonight’s discussion

I think it’s time to readdress our boundaries

Within the group chat

**Remus**

Too right Lils

Too much over sharing going on isn’t there

Sirius!

Hurry up

I’m starting without you

**Sirius**

I’m coming big boy!

**Remus**

Bring lube!

**Marlene**

You two are just the worst

\------------------------------

**Not Fast, Just Furious**

**Marly**

I can’t wait to seeeee yooou

**Remy**

Right back at you

Three weeks is too long

Without your scowling, gay face

**Marly**

You say the sweetest things

**Remy**

Well I’m a very sweet guy

**Marly**

All the Lol’s

How was the bath sex?

**Remy**

Excellent

Thank you for asking

**Marly**

Nice

Wish I was basking in the after glow

Of some rigorous bath sex

Rather than freezing my bloody tits off

Waiting for Dorco to get off the phone

**Remy**

Where are you??

And it wasn’t rigorous

It was languorous

**Marly**

Can’t really imagine Sirius doing languorous

And in town

We’re supposed to be going to that

weird framers shop

to get a painting I got Dorks for xmas framed

**Remy**

Oh I know where you mean

Its called ‘Surrounds’ isn’t it

Which I personally think is hilarious

**Marly**

You do love a good pun

**Remy**

That I do

I thought you got Alice for Secret Santa though?

**Marly**

Yah

But D saw this painting agggees ago

And loved it

But wouldn’t buy it

for some reason

so I thought

why the hell not

**Remy**

I see

I’m guessing

When you say painting

You mean an actual painting

Rather than a poster?

**Marly**

Yeh

Its an oil painting

Of the Cantabria hills in Spain

Apparently it reminds her of her grandparents house

When she used to go and visit when she was little

**Remy**

Marls

This sounds expensive

**Marly**

Meh

Was a bit

but you only live once don’t you

**Remy**

I suppose

And I’m just going to say

It was really nice that you remembered her seeing it

**Marly**

Yeh

Well I knew it would make her happy

Who doesn’t want their friends to be happy?

**Remy**

Marls

**Marly**

That’s me

**Remy**

Come on

I’m pretty sure I don’t need to play 20 questions

Like you did about Sirius

Do I?

Marls?

**Marly**

No

We don’t have to play 20 questions

**Remy**

Ok

So what now?

**Marly**

Rem do we have to talk about this now?

**Remy**

Of course not

Not if you don’t want to

But

**Marly**

Yeh I know

Remus you can’t say anything

Please

**Remy**

I won’t

I promise

**Marly**

Even to Sirius?

**Remy**

Even to Sirius

This isn’t my secret to tell

**Marly**

Ok

Thanks

**Remy**

Oh Marls

Since when?

**Marly**

For a while

Maybe last year

Maybe a bit before

**Remy**

You never said anything though

And I honestly would never have guessed

If it hadn’t been for this painting shiz

**Marly**

Lol

Shiz

The most unremus word ever

**Remy**

**🙄**

Classic McKinnon deflection

**Marly**

I don’t know Rem

She’s never shown an interest in anyone

Literally ever

I’d hate to make her uncomfortable

By saying anything

**Remy**

I know

But sometimes you’re surprised

I mean

Look at me and Sirius

No-one saw that coming

**Marly**

Remus

Everyone saw that coming

Come on

You leant him a jumper

On your FIRST DAY

which he proceeded to wear continuously

for two years

**Remy**

Oh

Well I didn’t see it coming

Or maybe I did

Oh I don’t know

Anyway

We’re not talking about me

What are you going to do?

**Marly**

I have no idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your lovely messages asking if I'm ok. I am, just Covid kicking my frontline worker arse - its been manic. Hopefully more writing to be done soon! ♥


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Late) New Year's fluff. Back to texting next chapter.

‘All I’m saying is that I don’t understand why you couldn’t just leave her at home, I mean she’s a cat Sirius.’

‘How dare you! She’s not just a cat, she’s our baby and anyway, she had to come Marlene,’ Sirius said glaring at her from his spot on the sofa, ‘because otherwise there would have been no-one to wish her Happy Mew Year at midnight.’

‘You’re an idiot,’ Marlene retorted dryly as Sirius stuck his tongue out at her and continued to scritch Minty under her chin, loud purrs coming from his lap where she was curled up in a fluffy ginger and white ball.

‘As long as you take that gross litter tray home with you, I don’t mind that she’s here,’ Lily said cheerfully as she came in from the kitchen holding a large wooden chopping board laden with various types of cheese and assorted crackers, James trailing behind her, two bottles of prosecco held in each hand.

‘Ooo cheese!’ Pete exclaimed, leaping up from one of the kitchen chairs that had been haphazardly dotted around the living room and hurrying over to the coffee table. Dorcas snorted,

‘That’s the most animated I’ve seen you all evening Pete,’ she remarked as he cut himself a chunk of cheddar and shoved it into his mouth. He nodded and swallowed before saying gravely,

‘Well, cheese is something to get animated over.’

‘Wormtail takes cheese very seriously,’ Remus added.

‘Sweet dreams are made of cheese,’ James joined in, and Remus and Pete nodded in agreement.

‘You guys are so weird,’ Alice said lifting her head from Frank’s chest to look round at them, ‘You’d think I would have got used to it after two and a half years but no.’

‘Rude,’ Sirius said, ‘We’re not weird, we’re eccentric. And cool,’ he added as an afterthought.

‘Eccentric is what weird people say when they’re in denial,’ Marlene pointed out as Lily and Dorcas laughed.

‘Anyway,’ James said loudly, making several of the group jump, ‘It’s sparkler time! Come on boys, I want one of the four of us to be my new Instagram picture.’

‘Ergh, fiiine,’ Remus yawned, stretching his arms up briefly, dislodging Sirius who had been pressed into his side, and standing up, turning to pull his boyfriend up along with him as Minty jumped onto the floor and made her way over to Dorcas who was sprawled on the floor in front of the coffee table.

‘Come on Petey, you can bring your cheese with you,’ Sirius called over his shoulder as James chivvied him and Remus towards the door. 

The four boys, and Lily who had been given the role of photographer, trouped outside into the dark and James passed around the sparklers.

‘Right, we remember what we’re doing yes?’

‘For the 100th times Prongs, yes, we know what we’re doing,’ Remus said exasperatedly, ‘Pete’s doing 2, you’re doing 0, I’m doing 2 and Pads’ is doing 1.’

‘Perf! This is going to look awesome!’

They got into a line and stood holding their sparklers in front of them. Nothing happened. 

‘Erm lads,’ Lily spoke up, ‘You actually have to light them for this to work.’

‘Oh, shit yeh,’ James said looking around at the others, ‘Umm, does anyone have a lighter on them?’

‘Why would any of us have a lighter James?’ Pete asked.

‘Oh for god’s sake,’ Lily huffed, turning around and heading back inside before reappearing thirty seconds later holding a box of matches. 

‘Right Remus, come here, you’re the only one I trust to actually do this without setting something on fire.’ Remus looked at the others smugly and started towards her as she added ‘Oh and Sirius, tie your hair up.’

‘I’m not going to set my hair on fire! I’m not an imbecile,’ he said sounding insulted but he stuck the metal end of his sparkler in between his teeth and grabbed the hair tie on his wrist, throwing his hair up in a messy bun. 

‘Mmm, I love your hair like that,’ Remus said distracted, turning round to look at him just as Lily lit the end of his sparkler, narrowly missing her scarf with the now flaming end. 

‘For fucks sake Remus, now is not the time,’ she reached up to punch him lightly on the shoulder, ‘You had one job and I called you the sensible one!’

‘Right, sorry Lils,’ Remus said guiltily and headed back towards the others. ‘Right lads, lets light these bad boys up.’

Once all four sparklers were lit the boys got back into position and Lily began to count down, ‘3-2-1 go!’ she called out and Remus shot Sirius and Pete a looking, giving them a short nod before the four of them began to wave their arms manically as Lily clicked away on James’ camera.

‘Yaaaay!’ James said as the flickering sparks died down, ‘Thanks lads, that’s gonna look so cool! Did it look cool Lils?’

‘Super cool Jamie,’ Lily said fondly, wandering over to him, lifting up on her tip toes to kiss him on the cheek, ‘Come on you, let’s go inside, it’s bloody freezing out here. You can look at the photos in a bit.’

\------------------------------

‘Are we going to do Lil’s thing then,’ Marlene asked sleepily a couple of hours of eating cheese and drinking prosecco later, ‘The hopes and dreams thing?’

‘That makes it sound really lame Marls,’ Lily complained, ‘I just thought it would be nice to share something we hope we’ll actually accomplish this year.’

‘Yeh, that’s what I meant,’ Marlene answered, peeling herself up off the floor and giving Lily a hug, ‘Tis a good idea. You’re right, no-one actually keeps their resolutions.’

‘Hey!’ Sirius spoke up, ‘I kept mine last year!’

‘Did you?’ said Remus surprised, turning his face upwards so he could look up at Sirius from where he was lying in his lap, ‘I didn’t even know you’d made one.’

‘Yeh, well I did,’ Sirius replied, the apples of his cheeks reddening.

‘Oh my god you’re blushing!’ James exclaimed, ‘Was it something dirty?’

‘No!’ Sirius said looking put out, ‘Look, forget I said anything, it’s the prosecco talking.’

‘Oh no,’ Alice said, sitting up, ‘You have to tell I now!’

‘Ergh fine,’ Sirius said dramatically, throwing his head back against the sofa and dragging a hand down his face, ‘It was to make Remus fall in love with me.’

There was a short pause before everyone began to laugh.

‘Oh shut up,’ Sirius said grumpily, bending forward to bury his face in the crook of Remus’ neck, ‘I kept it didn’t I? Didn’t I?’ he nuzzled Remus before pulling back up and looking down at him.

‘Oh Sirius,’ Remus said shoulders still shaking, ‘Yes you did babe. Oh come here.’ He rolled off the sofa and tugged on Sirius’ arm until he relented and allowed himself to be pulled up into a hug. Remus brought one hand up to cup his cheek, dropping a kiss onto his forehead.

Sirius sighed happily and pressed closer into Remus’ chest, waving his hands at the others, ‘You may laugh but look at me now, no-one else is snuggled up with Remus Lupin, are they?’

‘He’s right,’ Pete said sagely, ‘Padfoot has definitely won getting snuggled by Remus Lupin.’

‘Wait!’ said Marlene, who was looking at Sirius with a slight smirk on her face, ‘If that was your resolution last year, what was it the year before that? In first year?’

For the second time that evening Sirius glared at her and Marlene looked triumphant, ‘It was the same wasn’t it!’

‘Maybe,’ Sirius said imperiously, ‘I don’t remember.’

‘Don’t remember my arse,’ Dorcas muttered over at the two boys, ‘I can’t believe it took me over two years to realise that you had a thing for one another.’

‘Y’all are fools,’ said James, ‘Neither of you were subtle from the off.’

Pete snorted, adopting a haughty stance before continuing in an uncannily accurate impression of Sirius, ‘Wow, you’re so tall! Your eyes are so pretty! Look at your muscly arms!’

‘Oi!’ Sirius shot back, ‘I didn’t say that!’

‘You basically did!’

‘Ahh babe, did you really think I was muscly?’ Remus teased, slipping a hand underneath Sirius jumper to rest on his stomach, gently stroking over the soft skin there.

‘Oh no you don’t Rem,’ James interrupted him, ‘You weren’t any better, ‘Sirius would you like to borrow my favourite jumper? Can I touch your beautiful hair? Would you like a hug?’

‘I was being nice giving him that hug!’ Remus said indignantly, ‘He was sad, and I didn’t know what else to do. It’s not our fault your athletic arse interrupted us.’

‘To be fair, at the time I didn’t know I was interrupting anything. I just walked into the kitchen to find you wrapped around each other. We’d only known each other 12 hours!’

Remus rolled his eyes, ‘We weren’t wrapped around each other, Sirius would barely touch me, it was like hugging a mannequin.’

‘I’m a good hugger now though, right Remusaur?’ Sirius asked, looking up at him.

‘The best,’ Remus smiled back and lent forward to kiss him.

‘Yes, yes, we get it, you’re madly in love,’ Lily said, leaning her head on James shoulder so he could run his fingers over her scalp.

‘Hypocrite,’ Marlene, Alice, Remus and Sirius said simultaneously, as Frank and Dorcas laughed and Pete helped himself to the last sliver of brie. 

‘That’s fair,’ Lily assented, sitting up and pecking James on the lips, ‘Right, let’s do this then. We need to get into a circle.’

\------------------------------

After a fair amount of grumbling and shoving of furniture the nine of them were sat side by side in a circle.

‘Ooo afterwards can we have a game of duck, duck, goose?’ Alice asked.

‘Oh my god yes! Love a bit of duck, duck, goose,’ Sirius agreed, looking hopefully towards Lily.

‘I don’t know why you’re looking at me,’ Lily said shrugging, ‘I’m not in charge.’

‘Oh.’ Sirius paused, ‘In my head you’re in charge.’

‘Nah,’ said Lily, ‘Don’t think so.’

‘Shall we start,’ Marlene interrupted, ‘Otherwise it’s going to be midnight before we’re finished and I wanna watch the fireworks from the front garden.’

‘Good plan Marls,’ Lily said, ‘Go on then, you go first.’

‘Ok, well mine is more something I want to achieve rather than a hope,’ she started, looking around the circle, ‘I want to translate one of Marcus Aurelius’ meditations from the original Greek into English, without help.’

‘Oh my god yes!’ Remus said, looking at her excitedly, ‘That’s such a good one. Which meditation are you going to go for?’

‘Oh god I don’t know, maybe 8?’

Remus nodded in approval before starting, ‘A person who doesn’t know what the universe is doesn’t know who they are.’

‘I love that passage,’ Marlene joined in, ‘A person who doesn’t know their purpose in life doesn’t know who they are or what the universe is. A person who doesn’t know any of these things doesn’t know why they are here. So what to make of people who seek or avoid the praise of those who have no knowledge of where or who they are?’ They both finished and Marlene reached up a hand to give Remus a high five.

‘Love that translation,’ he said, slapping her hand enthusiastically, ‘It’s Haines isn’t it?’

‘Yeh, I think so.’

‘Amazing start there Marls, you’ll smash that no probs.’

‘Umm, what the fuck are you both talking about,’ Alice said, looking bewildered.

‘Sorry,’ Marlene said looking round at them all, ‘Got a bit carried away.’

‘Trust Marlene to start us off with something totally obscure,’ Dorcas said fondly. Remus didn’t miss the hint of pink that flushed across Marlene’s pale cheeks as she gave Dorcas a light shove before saying,

‘Shut up. It’s not obscure, I just really like Marcus Aurelius. Anyway, you’re next Dorky, what’s yours?’

‘Oh, well I couldn’t really think of anything in particular,’ Dorcas began,

‘Booo!’ James hollered, ‘You have to have something.’

‘Wait, wait,’ Dorcas shouted over him, ‘Calm your boots, let me finish. I couldn’t really think of anything in particular so,’ she glared at James playfully who grinned and held his hands up, ‘so this year I have decided to be more open with my feelings so,’ Remus could have sworn her eyes flickered towards Marlene just for a second before she continued, ‘I’m not such an enigma to you all anymore.’

‘Here, here!’ Alice cheered, holding up her glass and leaning across the circle to clink it against Dorcas’, ‘Love you Dorky, that’s a really good one.’

‘Definitely,’ Lily said from next to her giving her hand a squeeze, ‘Tell us everything and anything, but in your own time obviously.’

‘Thanks Lils,’ Dorcas said, squeezing back, looking embarrassed, ‘Next person please, I can’t stand the scrutiny.’

Lily laughed and sat up a bit straighter as James put his hand on the small of her back, ‘Mine’s a bit boring but I really want to get something published in The Lancet this year, which I think is achievable if I work at it after we graduate.’

‘You’ll have no problems there flower,’ James said encouragingly, ‘The stuff of yours I’ve read already is ace.’

‘Cheers Jamie,’ Lily said, relaxing back into his touch, ‘Fingers crossed hey.’

‘God, with you and Marlene we sound like a right intellectual bunch,’ Sirius said, ‘Come on Jam, level the playing field a bit for the rest of us.’

‘Right you are Padfoot my old chum,’ James said grinning round at them all, ‘Mine’s an easy one. I want to run the Edinburgh marathon in May.’

‘Ahh nice Prongs,’ Remus said, ‘That’s right up your street.’

‘Yup,’ James said, ‘Just need to choose my charity and stuff, at the moment I’m thinking either Shelter or Water Aid.’

‘Both good ones,’ Frank said approvingly, ‘We’ll have to come and cheer you on mate.’

‘Yes! We can make signs,’ Alice added, ‘I can see it now ‘Your feet hurt because you’re kicking so much butt!’’

Dorcas snorted a laugh, ‘What about ‘Don’t stop – people are watching.’’

‘No, no, I’ve got it,’ Sirius said clearing his throat, ‘You’ve got stamina.’

‘Hell yeah I do,’ James said, holding his fist out to Sirius for a fist bump as Lily shook her head muttering something about him being ridiculous. ‘Yes, but you love me,’ James said, throwing his arm around her shoulders and pulling her into his lap.

‘Shut up,’ she said, half heartedly trying to push him away, ‘Go on Pete, your turn.’

‘Easy,’ said Pete, draining his glass, ‘I’m going to master the art of sourdough bread.’

‘I am well up for that,’ Remus said smacking his lips together, ‘As long as we can eat your handiworks.’

‘They’re all yours Moony.’

‘Good man Petey, I love all the breads.’

‘Ooo, are you going to have one of those starters in a fancy jar on the kitchen side?’ James asked interestedly.

‘Yep,’ Pete said, ‘I’ve looked it up, I’m starting tomorrow. It takes seven days to mature which gives me the rest of the year to play around with quantities to get it perfect. Done. Frank?’

‘Oh, I didn’t know I had to have one too,’ Frank said looking round at them.

‘Umm, why the hell not Longbottom?’ Sirius asked accusingly.

‘Well, I thought it was a your gang sort of thing.’

‘But you are part of the gang Frankie!’ James said earnestly, ‘Oh my god, don’t you think you’re part of the gang?’

‘No, no I do just, I don’t know, I’ll think of one now,’ Frank said looking a bit flustered. He turned to Alice who looked at him, brown eyes bit sad, and took pity on him.

‘Frank can share mine?’ she asked, looking at Lily.

‘I deem that acceptable, yes,’ Lily said before waggling her finger at Frank, ‘As long as this one knows for next time that he is definitely part of the gang.’ Frank smiled back at her.

‘Ok then,’ Alice started, ‘Mine and Frank’s is to start our Italian evening class next week so when we go travelling in Italy in the summer we can speak their native language which seems only fair, why should they have to speak English in their own country?’

‘Ahh amazing!’ Dorcas said, ‘I forgot you’re going to Italy.’

‘Yep! Frank’s going to propose in Sicily, aren’t you Frank?’ Alice glanced sideways at him.

‘Am I?!’ Frank blanched, looking back at her alarmed and she burst out laughing.

‘No, of course not you idiot. I just wanted to see your face. I am definitely not expecting a proposal this year.’

‘Oh ok,’ Frank said, visibly relaxing.

‘You can ask me the year after instead!’ She grinned at him as he began to splutter a response and then chirped, ‘Sirius, your turn!’

‘Bad luck mate,’ Sirius said, knocking Alice’s shoulder, who in turn bumped Frank’s, before turning back to the rest of them, ‘Mine’s learning to ride a motorbike.’

‘No it’s bloody well not!’ Remus interjected.

‘Yes it is. Lyall’s going to teach me in the summer.’

‘Yes, well we’ll see about that,’ Remus muttered under his breath, ‘Bloody dad.’

‘We will see Remusaur, we will see,’ Sirius leered at him, ‘You won’t be complaining when I’ve squeezed these thighs into the leather riding trousers I’ve ordered.’

Remus paused, ‘I will consider allowing it,’ Sirius whooped, ‘If,’ Remus continued, ‘You wear the leather trousers around the house next weekend when Prongs and Wormtail are out.’

‘Deal,’ Sirius said, sticking out his hand. Remus took it and gave it a perfunctory shake and then licked up the side of Sirius’ face. ‘Erghh, Remus!’ Sirius moaned, wiping his cheek, ‘And you say I’m the dog.’ He gave him a shove, ‘It’s your turn.’

‘Oh right. Yeh ok,’ Remus said, ‘Well I’ve got two really. The first one is,’ he looked at Sirius who gave him an encouraging nod, ‘The first one is that I’m going to apply to do my PhD. I’ve got an interview in a couple of weeks’ time.’

‘Shut up!’ Marlene cried, ‘Rem that’s awesome, what area would you focus on for your thesis?’

‘I was thinking Dispositional Essentialism and Ontic Structural Realism,’ Remus replied.

‘Mate,’ James said standing up to pull Remus into a hug, ‘I have no fucking clue what the hell that means but you are the fucking man! Oh my god! Does this mean you’ll still be here next year?’ I won’t be left all on my lonesome?’

Remus laughed, patting James on the back, ‘One step at a time Prongs. The odds of me getting accepted are really low and I don’t know where I’d be working from,’ he looked back at Sirius who smiled softly back at him.

‘You’ll clearly be accepted Rem,’ Alice said as James finally released Remus, ‘You’re literally the most intelligent person I know.’

‘Cheers Al,’ Remus said, sitting back down and taking Sirius’ hand in his own, ‘We’ll see I suppose.’ Sirius brought their joined hands up to his mouth, peppering kisses across Remus’ knuckles.

‘Well, that was a roaring success Lils,’ Dorcas said, ‘Thanks for making us all do it, especially as I was your biggest sceptic.’

‘Thanks Dorco, twas fun,’ Lily said, making to get up, ‘Shall we get more fizz?’ She grabbed James’ wrist to look at his watch, ‘We’ve got 5 minutes before midnight.’

‘Wait!’ Pete piped up, ‘Rem said he had two, he only told us one.’

‘Oh no, the second one doesn’t matter. I’m happy with my one,’ Remus told him, standing up.

‘Nope!’ said Alice, pulling him back down, ‘Share it with the group.’

‘Do I have to?’

‘Yes,’ she said decisively, ‘Because I bet I’ve guessed what it is and if I’m right it’s super cute.’

‘Fiiiiine,’ Remus drawled before murmuring, ‘I also hope that I’m still with Sirius this time next year.’

‘What was that Rem,’ Marlene called loudly, ‘Speak up for the people at the back.’

Remus flipped her the finger before answering, ‘I said, I hope I’m still with Sirius this time next year.’

‘Aw man that’s so sweet Remus,’ Lily said looking fondly at him.

‘Padfoot thinks so too,’ James said shrewdly, and Remus turned to look at Sirius, cocking his head to the side. Sirius looked at him for a split second longer before launching himself into Remus’ lap, tumbling them both backwards so they were pressed into the carpet and pressing their lips together and kissing him fiercely before pulling back and caressing his cheek.

‘Of course we’ll still be together this time next year you big Moomin. We’re going to be together forever.’ He pressed their lips back together as Remus stuck one hand in Sirius’ back pocket and threaded the other into his hair.

‘I believe them too you know,’ Dorcas remarked conversationally, looking as Remus rolled them over and settled on top of Sirius.

‘Yep, me too,’ Marlene agreed, ‘We should probably leave them to it. Come on, they won’t even realise we’re gone.’

\------------------------------

‘Wait for us,’ Sirius shouted a few minutes later, as he hurried towards the door, pulling on the now infamous blue jumper, Remus close behind him as the others were piling out the front door, ready to watch the fireworks.

‘Come on then lover boys,’ Alice called back, pulling Frank towards her as the others began to chant.

‘5-4-3-2-1 HAPPY NEW YEAR!’

They all cheered and the three couples shared a kiss, Dorcas and Marlene grabbing Pete each planting a kiss on one cheek before they were engulfed in a mass group hug.

‘Wait!’ James shouted before they could pull away, ‘Group selfie!’ He held the camera up and they all beamed up at it as fireworks began exploding across the sky.

‘Cracking evening guys and gals,’ Pete said, as they made their way back inside ten minutes later, ‘Much better than going out.’

‘Absolutely,’ Sirius agreed, ‘Would rather spend the evening with reprobates than anyone else in the whole wide world.’

‘Hard agree,’ Marlene said, plonking herself down on the sofa, yanking Dorcas down next to her.

‘Yeh, love you guys,’ James said, not looking up from his camera where he was flicking through the various photo’s taken that evening, ‘We always have so much fun when we’re, hey!’ He halted mid-sentence.

‘What’s the matter Prongs?’ Remus said innocently, ‘Has something happened.’

‘You bastards!’ James exclaimed, whirling round the face the three boys,

‘Well that’s not very nice Jam,’ Sirius said sounding highly offended.

‘To your best friends too,’ Pete added, ‘How rude.’

‘What’s happened?’ Alice asked, looking confused as she perched herself on the arm of the sofa next to Marlene.

‘Look what these so-called Best Friends have done!’ James said, brandishing his camera at the three girls. On the screen was one of the pictures they had taken outside earlier, each boy holding a sparkler, but instead of spelling out 2021, the word C-O-C-K was emblazoned in the dark in bright, golden sparkles. The three girls erupted into fits of giggles.

‘How did you not know?’ Dorcas asked, wiping the tears from her eyes.

‘I was doing the 0,’ James pouted, ‘They,’ he pointed at Sirius, Remus and Pete accusingly, ‘Were supposed to be doing a 2,2 and 1.’

‘That is amazing,’ Marlene said, still laughing, ‘Cracking new insta photo there James. Whose idea was it?’

‘This has Remus Lupin written all over it,’ James said, and Remus grinned toothily at him,

‘What can I say Prongsie? I like a good cock.’

‘Hell yeh he does,’ Sirius said, slapping Remus on the arse and everyone in the room groaned.

‘Oh my God,’ James said suddenly, ‘You planned this, you knew you were going to do it which means,’ he spun round to look at Lily, who was leaning against the door frame, ‘You!’

‘Yes Jamie?’ she said sweetly, and James gasped, clutching his chest,

‘You were in on this! Traitor.’

‘Oh, but you see James,’ Lily said, pushing herself off the door frame and sauntering over to him and giving him a wink before taking hold of the collar of his shirt and pulling him down so she could whisper in his ear, ‘Remus isn’t the only one who likes a good cock.’ She patted him on the cheek and went to sit on the floor next to Sirius, who held out both hands for a double high five.

‘Good god,’ James said stupidly before reaching both arms wide and shouting, ‘HAPPY NEW YEAR!’


	10. Chapter 10

**We Who Shall Not Be Named**

**Prongs**

It’s a brand new year!

The sun is shining

the weather is sweet

**Padfoot**

Makes you want to move

Your dancing feet?

**Prongs**

Yes Padfoot!

Well sort of

The weather is sweet

but its fucking cold

and rather than dancing

I’m gonna go for a run

Anyone want to join?

**Moony**

L

O

L

**Prongs**

That’s a Lol from Moony

Paddy? 

**Padfoot**

I am very much hoping

that me and Remusaur

will indulge in some bedroom cardio

shortly

If its all the same to you

**Prongs**

Sweet

You know

The average man

Burns around 100 calories

For a half hour sex sesh

**Wormtail**

Sirius’ll be burning

Approx. 5 then

**Prongs**

HAHAHAHA!

**Padfoot**

Hey!

That was ONE time

And I was really nervous

**Moony**

I think he was joking babe

**Padfoot**

Oh

Well in that case

I will be burning HUNDREDS of calories

I can go all night

Can’t I Remusaur?

**Moony**

Of course Pads

**Prongs**

Padfoot is a stud

You want to come Petey?

It’ll be fun!

**Wormtail**

Hmm maybe

How far you going?

**Moony**

What?!

**Padfoot**

What?!

**Prongs**

Really??!

**Wormtail**

Obviously not

What’s wrong with you all this morning?

I can barely walk up the stairs

Without getting out of breath

There’s no way I could keep up with Prongs

**Prongs**

☹

I would stay at your pace

**Moony**

Tbf Jam

The one (1) time

I went running with you

You said that to me

But you kept running ahead

And then turning around

and running back towards me

with your arms outstretched

We had like 50 hugs

On a half hour run

**Prongs**

Yeh

That was fun!

Fine

I’ll go on my own

As always

**Padfoot**

I sometimes come with you!

**Prongs**

You haven’t come with me

for months

Actually

I don’t think you’ve come with me

since you and Rem got together

**Padfoot**

Oh

Really?

I’m sure I have

**Prongs**

Don’t think so

Not that I blame you

If I had to choose between

Sex with Remus or running with me

I’d definitely choose sex with Remus

**Moony**

Umm

Thank you?

**Prongs**

You’re welcome!

**Wormtail**

Tell you what J

How about you go for your run

and when you’re done

I’ll meet you at that new coffee place

that does those amazing pastries

and we can do coffee

**Prongs**

Well that just sounds delightful

Love a bit of Double P time

**Padfoot**

What is Double P?

**Wormtail**

Petey and Potter

**Padfoot**

Nice

Love a good couples name

**Moony**

Ooo

That reminds me!

**_Moony_ ** _has changed the nickname for **We Who Shall Not Be Named**_ _to **The Marauders**_

****

Thoughts?

**Prongs**

Wow

Bold move changing the group chat name

without any initial consultation

But I like it

**Wormtail**

All in favour?

**Padfoot**

Aye

**Prongs**

Aye

**Wormtail**

Aye

The motion has passed

Moony can keep the new group name

**Moony**

Yay

I think its v cool

Marlene said something about us being a bunch of Marauders

aaagggges ago

And I literally only just remembered

**Prongs**

New Year

New Name

I love it

In a bit lads!

**Padfoot**

Have a good run James

\------------------------------

**PB to my J**

**Moons**

Are you ok?

**Pads**

Yeh

Why?

**Moons**

You’ve been in there for ages

Are you poorly?

**Pads**

No

I’m just sitting

**Moons**

Whats wrong?

**Pads**

I feel horrible

about what James said earlier

☹

**Moons**

About the running?

**Pads**

Yeh

**Moons**

Oh Sirius

I don’t think he meant anything by it

It was just an off the shoulder comment

**Pads**

I know

But that makes it worse I think

I hate that’s he’s obviously thought about it

**Moons**

He’d be devastated if he thought he’d upset you you know

**Pads**

Yeh I know

Do you think I should talk to him about it

**Moons**

If its bothering you then yes

And it’s an easy fix

Just make some time

To go with him a few times a week

**Pads**

I know

Just he always goes so early

and youre always so warm

and I really love our morning cuddles

I swear they’re what get me through the day

**Moons**

Yes

But I’ll still be warm when you get back

and we can have morning cuddles then

**Pads**

I’d be all sweaty

and then the bed would be gross

but if I have a shower and get dressed

well I won’t want to get back into bed then

**Moons**

Tell you what

You pick the days you want to go with J

and I’ll set my alarm for 45 minues before you’re due to go

then you can have your morning cuddles

before your run

**Pads**

You’re the best

I love you

**Moons**

I’m a problem solver

I don’t want any of my best boys to be sad

**Pads**

I’m you’re favourite one though right?

**Moons**

**🙄**

Yes

But don’t tell Jamie

**Pads**

Your secrets safe with me

**Moons**

Talking about cuddles

will you come back to bed please?

I started 2021 wrapped around my favourite person in the whole world

And I would very much like to continue that trend into this first morning

**Pads**

Mon dieu you’re so cute

On my way!

I’ll make some tea

\------------------------------

**My Ride or Die**

**Siriusly**

How was it?

**Jam**

My run?

It was good!

Just cooling down before I meet Pete

**Siriusly**

Cool

How far did you go?

**Jam**

Umm

10ish I think

I’ll Strava it when I get home

**Siriusly**

Cool

**Jam**

You ok?

**Siriusly**

Yeh I’m all good

Just wanted to see how your run went

**Jam**

Ok then…

You do know I don’t believe you don’t you

**Siriusly**

Yeh

**Jam**

What’s up Padfoot?

**Siriusly**

I’m really sorry

If I’ve been ignoring you and stuff since Re and I got together

It really wasn’t my intention

Youre so important to me James

I couldn’t do any of this without you

**Jam**

Woah!

What’s brought this on??

You haven’t been ignoring me!

At all!

All’s good Sirius

**Siriusly**

Its just earlier

You mentioned that I haven’t been out for a run with you

Since Remus and me became a thing

**Jam**

Did I?

**Siriusly**

Yes

**Jam**

Oh I don’t remember

Well I suppose its true

But its not like it upset me or anything

I love coming home from my run

and seeing the two of you all snuggled up together

You’ve been so happy since you got together

Both of you

And that’s all I want

For my boys to be happy

**Siriusly**

You sound like Remus

**Jam**

Well Remus is a very wise man

I mean it though

Alls good

I do things with you

I do things with Rem

You do things with Rem that me and Pete definitely don't do

We all do stuff with Pete

It works out just fine

**Siriusly**

When you and Pete get back can I have a James hug?

**Jam**

Oh mate

You can ALWAYS have a James hug

Do P and I need to come home now?

**Siriusly**

Nah

You’re good

enjoy your coffee and pastries

and I can look forward to my hug

**Jam**

Shall we build a living room fort?

**Siriusly**

Yes please

That sounds nice

**Jam**

Love you Padfoot

**Siriusly**

I love you too Prongs

\-------------------------------

**Wolfbucks**

**Rem**

Errrm

What’s this I hear about you giving out James hugs??

**Jamie**

Don’t worry your pretty little face Re-moose

Ive got a big James hug with your name on it

**Rem**

Good

You better have


	11. Chapter 11

**A Good Pear**

**Sirius**

Yo!

We doing our first Starbucks of the year today??

**Alice**

Yeh

Sure

**Sirius**

???

Is that it?

Normally you’d be all over this

You ok?

**Alice**

Sorry

Trying to figure something out

But yes!

Am all over this afternoon

I’m gonna get something suuuper sugary

Fuck you New Years resolutions!

**Sirius**

That’s better

I was worried for a minute there

Something up?

**Alice**

Do you know

I’m not actually sure

**Sirius**

Tell me?

Might be able to help

**Alice**

Maybe

Ok

Basc

Do you think there something going on with Dorcas and Marlene??

**Sirius**

Like what?

Have they had a fight or something?

**Alice**

Nah

Nothing like that

Its just

Yesterday Lils suggested we go out for a drink

Just the four of us

And Marls said she couldn’t

Because she was meeting some girl from her course

And then Dorky said SHE was meeting a girl from her course for a drink too

**Sirius**

Okaaay

But that’s not unusual

Well maybe for Dorcas

But def not Marls

They’re allowed other friends Ali

**Alice**

Yes I know they are!

I haven’t finished

Lils said we’d go another night

And went to yours to see J

And I went to meet F and his housemates in town

And I saw M & D having dinner!

**Sirius**

I don’t get it

What’s weird about that?

You knew they were going out

**Alice**

No I mean they were having dinner together

There was no ‘girl from my course’

**Sirius**

Oh!

Well that is a bit weird

But maybe they just wanted some time together

Just the two of them

The four of us do that

James and Pete went out for coffee yesterday

I’m going for lunch with J tomorrow

**Alice**

I know you do

And it’s super cute

But we don’t

We normally do everything together

Unless its couple things or other friends things

And even then

The offer is always open for everyone to tag along

I don’t know

I just feel a bit sad

Like maybe they didn’t want Lily and I around

**Sirius**

Oh Alice!

Don’t be sad

I’m sure its nothing like that

I will admit it’s a bit odd

But it could be literally anything

They could have bumped into each other

And it was a spontaneous thing

**Alice**

I suppose

But I feel they would have texted

Or said something about it this morning

**Sirius**

Did you ask them this morning?

**Alice**

I asked them separately if they’d had a good evening

And just got a ‘yeh’ from both

I didn’t want to put them on the spot or anything

Or look like I’m a crazy person with massive FOMO

**Sirius**

Not going to lie Al

I am getting a slight FOMO vibe from you

**Alice**

☹

Yeh I know

I’m just going to try and forget about it

**Sirius**

Could it have been like

I don’t know

A being single thing?

Now that Lily is seeing J?

**Alice**

I guess

Its just the not saying anything that’s bothered me

And i obviously realise theyre not obliged to tell me everything

But I don’t like secrets

and it feels like this is one

Does that make sense?

**Sirius**

Yeh it does

But you don’t like secrets

because you’re such an open person

you’re the epitome

of a problem shared is a problem havled

you love to talk about things

and that’s why I love you so much

but not everyone is like that

**Alice**

I know

Especially not Dorky

**Sirius**

Def not

Maybe that’s it then

Perhaps somethings happened

and talking to you all in one go

would be too much for her

so she asked Marlene for advice?

**Alice**

That does actually make a lot of sense

I would NEVER ask her to share something

if it made her uncomfortable

**Sirius**

I know

I really don’t think you need to worry

**Alice**

You’re right

I’m being silly

I told Lily thought

Shit

I wish I hadn’t

**Sirius**

Well theres no point worrying about that now

**Alice**

No

Feel a bit bitchy though

and that’s why I love the girls

because theres hardly been any of that over the years

I’ll speak to her when she’s back from campus

Thanks lovely

**Sirius**

You’re very welcome

Look at me being all helpful!

**Alice**

You’re the best

Pick me up on your way to town?

**Sirius**

Course

See you in a few

**Alice**

X

**Sirius**

X

\------------------------------

**Jily**

**Lily**

You home?

**James**

No

I’m in the lab all afternoon

You ok?

**Lily**

Oh shit yeh

Sorry I forgot

Yes all good

Just wanted to see you

**James**

Oh well that not fair

Now I was to see you

**Lily**

Come over later?

**James**

Sure

If you want

**Lily**

I want

**James**

You sure youre ok?

**Lily**

Yeh

Yes

Its stupid

**James**

What is it?

I bet its not

**Lily**

Its just

You know how I came over last night

Because the girls were all busy?

**James**

I do remember

We have a very Nice Night

**Lily**

**😊**

We absolutely did

**James**

But…

**Lily**

But Al text me this morning

Saying that she saw Marlene and Dorcas last night

Having dinner in town when she went to meet Frank

**James**

Oh ok

I thought they were seeing course peeps?

**Lily**

That’s just it

That’s what they said they were doing

**James**

Well I’m sure its not as odd as it seems

They probably just bumped into each other

And figured they might as well have dinner out

If Alice was with Frank

And you were at ours

**Lily**

Maybe

But I don’t think they knew all that

They left before I decided to come and see you

**James**

Are you upset?

**Lily**

I think a bit?

I don’t want to be that girl

But I’m a bit sad that they lied?

**James**

But you don’t know that they did lie

Have you spoken to them?

**Lily**

No

I’ve not seen them

**James**

Well speak to them

And I’m sure itll be fine

Perhaps they both came home early

Realised you weren’t in

So went back out again

**Lily**

Maybe

I shouldn’t fuss

Its not like they’re not allowed to have dinner together!

**James**

I know

But I know how close you all are

You do do most things together

Don’t stress flower

**Lily**

I won’t

I’ll see you when youre done?

I could meet you?

**James**

Don’t really want you walking up here in the dark on your own

Not that I don’t think you can handle yourself!!

Just

**Lily**

Just…?

**James**

Just I don’t want you walking up here in the dark on your own?

**Lily**

You’re an idiot

I’ll wait for you here

I love you

**James**

Love you too

\------------------------------

**Private Message**

**Kingsley**

Mate!

Happy New Year

Have just seen that we’re partnered for the translation initiative

**Sirius**

Hey!

You too!

Sweet!

Who else we with?

**Kingsley**

Hestia and Arabella

**Sirius**

Oh nice!

Hestia’s cool

Don’t know Arabella that well but she seems ok?

**Kingsley**

Yeh I reckon so

Should be good

**Sirius**

Yeh

I really want to do well in this though

Translation is basically the dream

**Kingsley**

Oh man I know!

Don’t worry

You and me together will smash it

**Sirius**

**👍🏻**

**Kingsley**

You have a good Christmas?

**Sirius**

Yeh was good thanks?

You?

**Kingsley**

Yep all good

Get up to much?

**Sirius**

Nah not really

Spent the first week at the boyfriends

Then home

Then back to the boyfriends

**Kingsley**

Oh nice

You still with Remus right?

**Sirius**

Yeh

**Kingsley**

He’s really nice

Although obviously you already know that!

**Sirius**

Haha

You’d hope!

Shall we see if the girls want to go for a drink or something at some point?

Before we get stuck in and have no time for anything else?

**Kingsley**

Good idea

I’ve got Hestia’s number

I’ll text her

**Sirius**

Brill

Let me know what you decide

**Kingsley**

Will do!

Laters Sirius

**Sirius**

Bye!


	12. Chapter 12

**My Support Bras**

**Lils**

Girlies

Sorry I missed you all

Stupid early lectures

**Marls**

No worries!

Although I’ve going to level with you

You missed D’s pancakes

**Lils**

Oh maaaaan

No

Please don’t tell me you had bacon

**Als**

Not sure how to tell you this

But we had bacon

and maple syrup

**Lils**

I think I might cry

**Dorky**

I can do them again tomorrow?

**Als**

Woah!

Pancakes two days in a row

Whats got into you?

Not that I’m complaining mind

I’m still licking the syrup off my fingers

**Dorky**

Maybe wash your hand Al…

And nothing got into me

Life is just good tis all

**Marls**

Loving happy Dorco this am

Shall we do our rescheduled night out tonight??

**Lils**

Ooo yes please!

Can we go to that place

that does that cocktail in the hot air balloon?

**Als**

YES

Love that place

**Dorky**

Sounds good to me

I’ve got no lectures tomorrow either

so can wallow in the inevitable hangover all day

**Marls**

Yay fab

I’m excited

**Lils**

Mee toooo

\------------------------------

**Peas in a Pod**

**Lils**

Did you say anything in the end?

**Als**

Nah

It didn’t come up

And I was worried I’d just look like I was accusing them

**Lils**

Fair enough

I feel we probs just need to get over it

**Als**

Samesies

What did J say?

**Lils**

Not a lot

Just said not to worry etc

**Als**

Yeh Sirius said pretty much the same

He said that maybe they’d bumped into each other

on their way home or something

so it was a spontaneous thing

**Lils**

Do you know

I hadn’t even thought about that

That’s so true

**Als**

Yeh

Although I do think they would have said

Maybe

I don’t know

**Lils**

Yeh

I think we leave it now though

I don’t want to upset anyone

For all we know

Somethings happened with D at home

and she didn’t want to talk about it

or something?

**Als**

Oh god

I’d NEVER want to put her on the spot

Or make her feel like she had to talk or anything

You’re right

I’m going get over myself

And we’re going to have an amazing night out

**Lils**

Yeh we are!

I better go

I’m already late!

**Als**

Naughty Lily!

See you later xx

\------------------------------

**Basic Bitches**

**Dorcas Ignatia**

Marly I’m stressing

**Marlene Elisabeth**

Why??

What’s up?

**Dorcas Ignatia**

Do you think they’re pissed off with us?

**Marlene Elisabeth**

No I don’t think so?

Als was back to normal this morning

and she didn’t seem pissy yesterday

just a bit sad

I asked if she was ok and she said it was just PMT

**Dorcas Ignatia**

Oh ok

If you’re sure

I thought they were both a bit off yesterday

Argh!

**Marlene Elisabeth**

I think you’re imaging it

but you’re if its stressing you out

we just won’t go out again

until we tell them

**Dorcas Ignatia**

Oh god that makes it worse

**Marlene Elisabeth**

How??

Chill babe

**Dorcas Ignatia**

I can’t!

I don’t not want to go out

but I also REALLY don’t think I can tell them

we don’t even know what this is yet

**Marlene Elisabeth**

We don’t have to tell them anything

but I’m not going to lie D

I’ve already told Rory…

**Dorcas Ignatia**

Told him what?!

**Marlene Elisabeth**

That you’re my girlfriend

Dorcas?

**Dorcas Ignatia**

Ok

**Marlene Elisabeth**

That was the wrong thing to say

Wasn’t it

**Dorcas Ignatia**

Umm

Yeh

Maybe

I mean I think you’re great Marlene

but we’ve been out for dinner once

**Marlene Elisabeth**

You think I’m great

Excellent.

**Dorcas Ignatia**

Shit

You know what I mean

**Marlene Elisabeth**

No

Not really

**Dorcas Ignatia**

Marls

This is totally out on my comfort zone

**Marlene Elisabeth**

So I’m out of your comfort zone?

**Dorcas Ignatia**

No!

That’s not what I said

Please don’t be like this

This time 4 days ago

I’d never kissed anybody

Let alone my best friend

**Marlene Elisabeth**

I know

I’m sorry

I just thought that we were maybe on the same page here

And I really, really like you

**Dorcas Ignatia**

Marls I don’t even know what book I’m in

Give me a bit

I promise I’m trying

**Marlene Elisabeth**

Ok I can do that

But are we talking like a few days or…

**Dorcas Ignatia**

I honestly don’t know

but I promise when I work it out

you’ll be the first to know

In the meantime

Can we just carry on

As we were?

**Marlene Elisabeth**

As in before 4 days ago?

**Dorcas Ignatia**

Yes

No

I don’t know ☹

**Marlene Elisabeth**

Where are you?

**Dorcas Ignatia**

At home

**Marlene Elisabeth**

Where??

**Dorcas Ignatia**

In the living room

I’ve just got in

**Marlene Elisabeth**

You idiot

I’m in my room

Do you want a hug?

**Dorcas Ignatia**

Yes please

I’m sorry

**Marlene Elisabeth**

No sorrys

Come on

Up you come

We can talk

**Dorcas Ignatia**

Do you promise not to get cross with me?

**Marlene Elisabeth**

I promise

\------------------------------

**PB to my J**

**Moons**

I found out who’s interviewing me

**Pads**

OMG who??

**Moons**

Dr Winn

**Pads**

Yes!

Moons you’ve got this

**Moons**

Shit

I’m beginning to think I might

I don’t want to get my hopes up

But

Ahhhhh!

**Pads**

I’ll get my hopes up for you

I’m so excited

I’m going to be able to tell people

That my boyfriends a Dr

**Moons**

As long as we don’t have any

‘Is there a Dr in the house’ incidents

Where I can’t actually provide any medical assistance

Unless James’ is with us I suppose

**Pads**

Oh my God

My boyfriend AND my best friend

Both Drs

How cool

**Moons**

I want to be your best friend

**Pads**

Remusaur

You’re my best everything

I mean

You woke up 45 minutes early today

So I could have cuddles before my run

**Moons**

They were bloody good cuddles too

**Pads**

Yeh they were

The post run cuddles weren’t half bad either…

**Moons**

Not half bad huh?

That’s not what you were saying

during the post run cuddles

What was it you said?

Oh that’s right

You couldn’t really speak coherently

**Pads**

Oh shut up

You try keeping a conversation going

When you’ve got three fingers in you

NOT MOVING

**Moons**

You looked amazing

Fuck

I love that flush you get

**Pads**

Yes

And you looked like a giant tease

With a filthy mouth

**Moons**

You got there in the end!

**Pads**

No thanks to you

**Moons**

…

**Pads**

Ergh fine

All thanks to you

**Moons**

That’s better

Good boy

**Pads**

Oh God

I can’t wait to come home

Do you think we’ll ever get bored of having sex?

**Moons**

Nope

I’m completely obsessed with you

**Pads**

Same here Big Moomin

Same here


	13. Chapter 13

**The Marauders**

**Prongs**

Up and at it Moony!

I’ve made you the breakfast of kings

in preparation

**Moony**

Oh Prongs

Really?

**Prongs**

Yes!

Don’t go all gushy on me now

**Moony**

Oh I’m sorry

You misunderstood my tone

What I meant was

Oh Prongs

_Really?_

**Prongs**

Intensely rude

**Wormtail**

Don’t worry Rem

I ‘advised’

Theres not single kale, avocado and spinach smoothie in sight

And no protein powdered beverages either

**Moony**

Oh in that case

Yay Prongs!

Thank you!

**Prongs**

Although I am HIGHLY offended

I will overlook it just this once

In order to PUMP YOU THE FUCK UP

Come on!

**Moony**

I’m coming I’m coming

**Padfoot**

That’s what he said last night

**Prongs**

That’s what he said last night

**Wormtail**

That’s what he said last night

**Moony**

Well I walked right into that one didn’t i

**Prongs**

Yup

Not sure what Paddy was doing to you last night

But you were L-O-U-D

**Padfoot**

It’s just my supreme sexual prowess

He can’t resist it

**Wormtail**

It’s your extreme something

That’s for sure

HURRY UP

I can’t contain the Prongs for much longer

**Prongs**

I’m just so excited!

Fuck it

I’m starting my ‘Moony’s going to smash it’ playlist

**Moony**

Oooo

Rogue first choice of song

But I’m not mad about it

**Prongs**

I’m aware your interview is taking place

in an brightly lit office

instead of in the grimy bathroom

at a dank, dimly lit underground club

But that doesn’t’ mean you can’t summon a little bit of that 8 Mile hustler spirit

**Padfoot**

You can do anything you set your mind to, man

\------------------------------

**F.R.I.E.N.D.S**

**Sirius**

Right chums

It’s time

We’ve just walked up

He’s got 15 minutes before he goes in

You ready?

**Marlene**

I was born ready for this

**Alice**

LET’S DO IT

**Sirius**

Ok

Go!

**Dorcas**

Your interviewers don’t know how lucky they’re going to get today. 

Go and BLOW THEM AWAY

**Lily**

Certain things are made for certain people and this PhD was made for YOU. 

GO REMUS!

**Marlene**

Luck has nothing to do with it, you have worked SO hard for this Rem. 

Now go in there and do what you came here to do!

**James**

Only the best things happen to best friends like you. 

You’re going to OWN this

**Alice**

Will you be good enough for this PhD? 

Don’t you mean will this PhD be good enough for YOU?

You’ve got this Rem!

**Pete**

The waves of rivers change their ways when they encounter a courageous rock.

You are as powerful as those rocks. 

The hurdles will change their ways after getting face-to-face with you.

I know you will do the best

**Remus**

Pete what the fuck

**🤣**

**Pete**

I panicked!

I had something really good but the pressure!

**Sirius**

Pete!

We practised this!

**Pete**

☹

**Remus**

Well I appreciate the sentiment Petey

Thanks everyone

Love you all

**James**

WE LOVE YOU TOO MOONY

**Dorcas**

Sirius where was your message??

**Sirius**

Well

On my watch we’ve got 11 minutes

my good luck will be taking

a more oral form

if you get my drift…

**Marlene**

😉

**Lily**

Don’t forget to do your flies up after Rem!

\------------------------------

**My Ride or Die**

**Jam**

Has he gone in?

**Siriusly**

Yeh just now

**Jam**

How was he?

**Siriusly**

Nervous I think

Didn’t say much on the walk up

He really wants this

**Jam**

Yeh I know

Bloody deserves it too

How are you feeling about it all?

**Siriusly**

I don’t know

Nervous maybe?

I’m really excited for him though

**Jam**

You on your way home?

**Siriusly**

Not sure

Might go for a walk or something

**Jam**

Let me come and meet you?

I can sack of labs today

I was in all day Monday

**Siriusly**

Yeh ok

He’s going to get it isn’t he

**Jam**

Yeh

I think he is

I mean they’d be mad not to take him

**Siriusly**

Prongs?

**Jam**

Yeh?

**Siriusly**

If he gets it

Do you reckon we’ll last if he ends up staying here

and I’m in London?

**Jam**

Oh Sirius

Of course you will!

I had a feeling you were worrying about that

And I 100% can say you don’t need to

**Siriusly**

Ok

Can’t stop thinking about it

**Jam**

Where are you?

I’ve just left the house

**Siriusly**

I’m heading the Meadows way

**Jam**

Give me 20

I’ll meet you there

I’ll grab coffee on my way

**Siriusly**

Thanks James

**Jam**

Any time Padfoot

You know that

He’ll be able to do loads of his work remotely you know

**Siriusly**

I know

I need to stop it

I’m being stupid

When we talk about next year and stuff

Its always implied that we’re together

**Jam**

You’re clearly gonna marry him

I cannot emphasis how little you need to worry about this

And anyway

If he does end up here for the majority its not like you can’t come and visit

Remember you’ve got to come and visit me

**Siriusly**

Obviously I haven’t forgotten that

Every second weekend

I’m coming to you

Every fourth weekend

You’re coming to us

Apart from during exam season

When I shall be coming to you exclusively

But for early nights only

**Jam**

Exactly

Don’t be thinking you’re going to be finding any new best friends

Any time soon

**Siriusly**

Obviously not

BBF’s forever right?

**Jam**

Right

Ride or Die

**Siriusly**

Ride or Die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone was wondering the first song on James' playlist was Eminem 'Lose Yourself'


	14. Chapter 14

**Jily**

**Lily**

You in labs?

Want to meet up for lunch?

**James**

Ahh that would have been amazing

But I’m not

We could go out for dinner instead?

**Lily**

Yeh course

No worries

Everything ok?

**James**

Yeh I think so

I’m just with Sirius atm

**Lily**

Is he having a meltdown about Remus?

**James**

He’s having a meltdown about Remus

**Lily**

Oh what a silly goose

**James**

I know bless him

He’s got himself into a bit of a state

Hes convinced Rem is gonna end things

**Lily**

Errrm

Has he met Remus?

Unnecessarily tall

Super sarcastic

and completely head over heels

for one Sirius Black?

Like literally never seen a man so in love

**James**

That’s what I keep telling him

But you know Padfoot

Once that seeds planted

He lets it take root

He’s having a shitty day

**Lily**

Poor Sirius

Although

Has he told Rem any of this?

Because I’m pretty sure he’d be distraught

**James**

Course he hasn’t

That’s what I’m trying to do now

Convince him to actually speak to Moony

**Lily**

Good

He needs to

If he bottles it all up

Remus will definitely notice somethings wrong

What’s that saying?

The one about if you keep thinking the negative thoughts

they end up coming true?

**James**

Ah

Good old selection bias

We definitely don’t want any of that

I can’t bear the thought of a world where Blupin isn’t canon

**Lily**

God me neither

And on that note

Stop talking to me

And get back to convincing him!

**James**

Yes Sir!

Will call you in a bit

Think about where you fancy for dinner

**Lily**

Will do

Love you

**James**

Love you more

\------------------------------

**Not Fast, Just Furious**

**Marly**

How’d it go?

How’d it go?

Are you still in there?

You are aren’t you?!

That means it’s going well!

What you talking about??

I’m so excited for you!!

**Remy**

Chill Marls

But yes

I was still in there

We overran by almost an hour!

Most of which was spent arguing over dispositional essentialism vs. quidditism

**Marly**

AHHHHH!

Of course it was

How do you think it went?

You’ve clearly smashed it

**Remy**

Oh God

I really think I might have

Shit

Is it bad luck to think that?

I don’t know!

**Marly**

No of course not!

You sell yourself short

Well done Rem

You deserve this

**Remy**

I’ll go for just keeping my fingers crossed

I find out next week sometime

**Marly**

Oh good

That’s not too long to wait then

**Remy**

Nope!

Anyway I better go

I said I’d ring Sirius as soon as I got out

**Marly**

Ahh yeh

Lils said he was freaking out

**Remy**

Really?

**Marly**

Yeh

Apparently James had to go and hold an emergency intervention

To convince him you aren’t going to end things

**🙄**

**Remy**

What the fuck??

**Marly**

Shit

Did you not know this??

I’m so sorry

I presumed this was like a long running thing!

**Remy**

No!

Need to go

\------------------------------

_Incoming call from Big Moomin_

**My Moomin!**

**How did it go?**

It was fine

Where are you?

**I’m just walking home**

**Met Prongs for a coffee**

**Are you**

**Are you running?**

Yes I’m running!

**umm why?**

Because apparently I’m breaking up with you!

And I’m panicking

And for some reason that means I’m running

**Ah shit**

**Re please stop running**

Please stop telling people I’m breaking up with you!

**I didn’t tell people you’re breaking up with me!**

**Look**

**I just had a bit of a wobble**

**About stuff**

**But I’m fine**

Well that’s clearly a lie

Sirius

Fuck me I’m so out of breath

Sirius

How could you even think that?

**I don’t know Re!**

**I just freaked out**

**Because lets be honest**

**the reality is that in September**

**We probably won’t be together anymore**

What the fuck Sirius?

Why not?

Do you not…

Oh my God

Is this your way of telling me that you want to break up?

**What?**

**No!**

You literally just said

That in September we won’t be together anymore!

**Oh for fucks sake**

**I meant physically!**

**As in I’ll probably be in London**

**And you’ll be up here still**

Oh

Ok

I actually feel sick

Sirius please

I love you so so much

You can’t seriously think I’d break up with you

Just because we’re not living in the same place?

**I always think Siriusly**

Don’t joke Pads

**Yeh sorry**

**No I don’t think that**

**Well I don’t think I don’t think that**

What?

That doesn’t make any sense

**Don’t worry about it Re**

**I promise it’s fine**

Argh!

Don’t brush this off

Somethings clearly wrong

Is James still with you?

**Yeh**

Give him the phone

**Umm okaaay**

**_Hi Moony!_ **

**_How did it go?_ **

Yes it was fine

What the fucks happening James?

I’m freaking out

Is he ok?

**_Yes he’s fine_ **

**_Can we breathe please?_ **

I am breathing

I also think my heart might have just broken

**_Oh bloody hell_ **

**_You two are all about the dramatics today_ **

**_You know what he’s like Rem_ **

**_He’s just having an irrational panic_ **

**_And in true Sirius form has internalised it_ **

**_Rather than trying to talk to anyone about it_ **

Ok

Ok

I can’t believe he thought I’d break up with him!

**_I know_ **

**_He’s an idiot_ **

**_Just make him talk to you yeh?_ **

Yeh I will

Cheers Prongs

Can I have him back?

**_Any time Moony_ **

**_I promise it’s gonna be fine_ **

**_Here he is!_ **

****

**Hi**

Hi

Are you nearly home?

**Yeh**

**You?**

Just got in

When you get in we’re going to talk about this

**Remus I told you it’s fine**

No!

I don’t care what you say

We are going to talk about this

Sirius you have to tell me these things

I was happily swanning around loving life

Loving _you_

Thinking all was hunky dory

And meanwhile you’re sitting there convinced that we’ve got an expiration date!

**I don’t think we’ve got an expiration date!**

**I was just a bit worried**

**That’s all**

Well I wish you’d told me!

How long have you been worrying about this?

**Erm**

**Since you told me you were applying**

So November

You’ve been worrying about this since November

**Maybe**

**Not the whole time though**

**I think today**

**When you went in for your interview**

**It just all become a bit more real you know?**

Yes I know

But Sirius

It didn’t even cross my mind that we might not stay together

Not even fleetingly

If I think about the future

All I see is you

I said I’d come and look at flats with you!

Oh my god my stomach is doing that horrible swooping thing

**I know I know**

**I’m sorry**

**I didn’t mean to upset you**

Well you did!

I need you to come home

I need to see you

**We’re 5 minutes away**

**Please don’t cry**

**Prongs talked me round**

Yes but I wish he hadn’t had to!

That should have been me reassuring you

Not James

**Yeh**

**Ok**

**We’ll talk when I get home**

Good

I’m going to make a tea

Do you want one?

**Yes please Remus**

Great

I love you Sirius

**Yeh I know**

**I love you too**

**So much**

Good

See you in a minute

**Bye Moons**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooh for the first time in a while i'm not sure about this chapter...


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first ever fight scene! Very open to constructive criticism!

‘Remusaurus we have returned!’ James shouted as he banged open the front door. There came a weak sounding chuckle from the kitchen and Sirius grimaced before turning to James with pleading eyes. ‘Nope,’ James whispered firmly, beginning to push Sirius through the living room and towards the kitchen, ‘You’ve got to sort this out yourself. I’m not getting in the middle here.’ He stopped just before the kitchen door and turned, ‘Sirius, just talk to him ok?’ and without leaving pause for an answer he marched deliberately towards the stairs. 

Sirius glared at his retreating form and bent down to tug his boots off before taking a deep breath and walking into the kitchen. He deflated instantly at the sight of Remus sitting at the kitchen table, hands wrapped round a mug of tea and his eyes red rimmed. 

‘Oh Re,’ Sirius said softly as Remus raised his head to look up at him, giving him a watery smile, ‘You’ve been crying.’ Remus just gave him a shrug and looked back at his tea, gesturing to a second cup on the table. 

Sirius padded over and pulled out the chair next to Remus’ and sat down, reaching out his right hand to cup Remus’ face, running a thumb across the arch of his freckled cheek. Remus screwed his eyes shut and took a sharp breath in as fresh tears spilled over, wetting the tips of Sirius’ fingers.

‘Remus, please, no,’ Sirius whispered but Remus just shook his head and pitched forward, his body slumping against Sirius’ chest. Sirius immediately wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer, dropping his chin into the unruly curls on the top of Remus’ head as his body gave a shudder.

‘I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry’ Sirius repeated over and over, ‘I didn’t mean to upset you.’

‘I know, I know,’ Remus said, pulling back, tugging the cuff of his jumper down over his hand and then reaching up to wipe his eyes, ‘I’m being stupid. The adrenalin from the interview isn’t helping either.’

‘God Re I’ve really fucked this up haven’t I?’ Sirius said leaning his head back and looking up at the ceiling. ‘Today wasn’t about me, I’ve ruined it for you.’

‘You have a bit yeh,’ Remus agreed, ‘Not really what I was expecting to come out the interview to.’

‘I don’t even know how it went,’ Sirius said bitterly, ‘What the fuck’s wrong with me?’

‘Nothing’s wrong with you,’ Remus said sharply, ‘Don’t say that, and I told you on the phone, it was fine.’

Sirius rolled his eyes, ‘Fine could mean anything Moons, how did it really go?’

A small smile crossed Remus’ face before he schooled it back into something more neutral, but not before Sirius noticed, ‘You smashed it didn’t you? You can tell me you know.’

‘Yeh, I think I might have,’ Remus admitted, laughing as Sirius gave a little fist pump and then pulled Remus up out of his chair and threw himself towards him, burying his face in the side of his neck.

‘I knew you would!’ came his muffled voice before he stepped back and linked both their hands together, ‘I’m so proud of you Remus, no-one deserves this more than you.’

‘Thanks Pads,’ Remus said, smiling fully now and swinging their joined hands slightly, ‘I’m pleased its done.’ He dropped their hands and reached to pick up his tea, draining what was left and then looked around the kitchen. ‘So,’ he began hesitantly, ‘Are we going to talk or…?’

Sirius exhaled loudly and looked at Remus and nodded his head, ‘Yes,’ he said tightly, ‘But first come here.’ He reached over and took the cup from Remus’ hand, placing it back onto the table before crowding him back against it so their bodies were pressed together. He tipped his head back slightly and wrapped his arms around Remus’ neck, encouraging him to lean down a little. Remus needed no encouragement and melted into the embrace, hands going to steady Sirius’ hips as he pressed their lips together. They kissed slowly for a couple of minutes until Sirius pulled back so he could rub their noses together, ‘Come on, let’s go upstairs.’

They walked upstairs in silence, neither knowing what to say. There was no sign of James and Sirius wondered fleetingly if he’d gone out again. Sirius shut the bedroom door behind them and both boys sat side by side at the end of the messily made bed. 

‘I found your cashmere sock by the way,’ Remus said, breaking the awkward silence, ‘It had got mixed up when I washed the bedding and was stuck in a pillowcase.’ He leant over and grabbed a now shrunken dove grey sock from the bedside table. ‘Sorry,’ he said, handing the sock to Sirius, ‘I think it’s ruined.’

‘No matter,’ Sirius said turning the sock over in his hands, ‘Tis only a sock. Anyway, gives me an excuse to stick my feet under yours.’

Remus laughed, ‘Yeh. Besides, only wierdos wear socks in bed.’

‘Hey!’ said Sirius in mock outrage, ‘It wouldn’t have got lost in the bed if you hadn’t refused to have sex with me when I was wearing them!’

‘It was creeping me out!’ Remus shot back, ‘I couldn’t take you seriously. Even someone as good looking as you can’t pull off wearing socks and nothing else.’

‘Fair enough,’ Sirius said grinning back at him, ‘Pretty sure only pretentious tossers have cashmere socks anyway.’

‘Takes ones to know one,’ Remus said, nudging Sirius’ shoulder with him own, ‘Come on Pads, talk to me.’

‘Yeh ok,’ Sirius said, turning to look at him, ‘I’m really sorry Remus, I should have said something.’

‘Yes you should have,’ Remus agreed, ‘I think what’s upset me most is that you felt that you couldn’t talk to me about this. We’re supposed to tell each other everything. Or at least I thought we were. I know I do.’

‘I know,’ Sirius said, ‘It’s just, I find it difficult you know? When something gets stuck in my head and I’m not sure if its valid or not. Like is it worth me even bringing it up or am I being ridiculous? So I figure I should just keep it to myself.’

‘If it’s something you’re thinking about then of course its valid,’ Remus said shaking his head, ‘And,’ he paused, ‘You didn’t keep it to yourself. You told James.’

‘Yes I did,’ Sirius assented, ‘But only because he clocked something was up. I don’t think I would have told him voluntarily.’

‘But _I_ didn’t notice something was up,’ Remus answered, sounding desperate, ‘What does it say about us when your friend notices something’s wrong before your boyfriend?’

‘Yes but James isn’t just my friend, he’s is _best_ friend.’

‘Yeh, I know,’ Remus said flatly.

‘I don’t know what you want me to say Remus. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you? I’m sorry that I did tell James? But I’m not sorry I told James because looking back I clearly needed to talk to someone!’

‘Yes but that someone should have been me!’ Remus almost shouted back, ‘You were worrying that I was going to break up with you right?’ Sirius nodded mutely, ‘Well how the fuck is James going to know if I am or not? Surely the best person to ask would have been me!’

‘I know Remus!’ Sirius said, standing up and turning to face him, ‘But I didn’t want to ask you!’

‘Why not?’ Remus said, definitely shouting now.

‘In case it turned out to be true!’ Sirius fell back on to the bed, running his fingers through his hair and gripping his scalp, ‘I didn’t want to tell you in case it turned out to be true.’

‘I don’t understand,’ Remus said more quietly, ‘Sirius, surely you see that you have to tell me things like this. You can’t just decide that I’m going to break things off because you’ve got a hunch. That’s not fair.’

‘When you put it like that, I know.’ Sirius said still tugging at his hair. Remus reached across and gently lifted his hands away, tucking some of the errant strands behind his ears,

‘Don’t do that, you’ll hurt yourself. Sirius Black, I love you so much but I can’t let you do this again ok? I need to know that if you’re worried about something you’re going to tell me. I don’t want to spend the next sixty years walking on eggshells wondering if you’re worrying about something.’

‘Sixty years hey?’

‘I reckon, puts us at 84ish. Pretty good run.’

‘Yeh. Remus I’m so sorry. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you, I’m sorry that I ruined today, I’m sorry that you felt like I could talk to James and not you. I’m just sorry. I don’t want you to feel that you can’t get excited about your PhD around me, because you can. I’m so pleased for you and I’m so proud, I just wish I could turn my mind off sometimes.’

‘I know Pads, but telling me could be a way to turn you mind off. Let me help if you’re worried. I’m telling you shit all the time.’

‘Re, the last thing you were worried about was that your broccoli plants were going to get frost bite.’

‘Yes, but then you reminded me that I’d put them in the greenhouse and also that, at the end of day, if they did get frost bite they were only broccoli’s. And then I didn’t worry anymore.’

‘You’re ridiculous,’ Sirius snorted as Remus cocked at eyebrow at him, ‘Ok, ok, pot kettle, yeh, yeh.’

‘Promise me you’ll try? I’m not saying you have to tell me everything that goes though that mind of yours but if it directly involves me, if telling me would actually give you an answer to what you’re worrying about, promise that you’ll tell me?’

‘Yeh, ok.’

‘Do you want a cuddle?’

‘Yes please,’

‘Can I be little spoon?’

‘Course you can Moomin.’

The two of them shuffled up towards the head of the bed and Sirius turned on his side, tugging Remus into his body and pressed a kiss under his ear. Remus made a contented noise and wriggled back, making himself comfortable against Sirius.

‘If I get the place I don’t have to accept,’ Remus said suddenly, running his fingers over Sirius’ forearm that was tight round his chest.

‘Remus, don’t be stupid, of course you have to accept,’ Sirius said firmly, ‘I want you to accept.’

‘Yes but if it’s going to make you sad then,’

‘No,’ Sirius cut him off, ‘This is another reason why I didn’t want to say anything, ‘I’m not having you deny yourself things you want because of me. You’d end up resenting me.’

‘I wouldn’t,’ Remus replied petulantly.

‘Remus,’ Sirius said warningly.

‘Fine,’ Remus rolled over to face him, ‘You’re probably right, but we could have talked about it.’

‘I know.’

‘You believe me don’t you? I’m not going to break up with you.’

‘I know,’ Sirius said again, leaning forward to kiss Remus lightly, ‘I’m sorry I made you cry.’

‘Me too,’ Remus said, ‘I’m knackered now.’ He rolled back over and snuggled back against Sirius and closed his eyes.

‘Let’s have a nap then. We can talk more when we wake up if you want.’

‘Good boy,’ Remus said muzzily, ‘That’s what I like to hear. I love you.’

‘I love you too, more than all the kittens in the sky.’

\------------------------------

**Wolfbucks**

**Rem**

Thanks for looking after our boy

**Jamie**

Oh Rem

He’s your boy

I was just in the right place at the right time

**Rem**

I think we both know that’s not true

But I mean it

Thank you

**Jamie**

I don’t need thanking

You know I’d do anything for either of you

**Rem**

Yeh

I know

**Jamie**

Do you need some James loving?

I’m always available for Remusarus’

**Rem**

Maybe

**Jamie**

Let’s do lunch tomorrow

Just us?

**Rem**

Yeh ok

That sounds good

**Jamie**

Remus

I don’t want you to worry

Padfoot and I

We’ve always been close

And yes I might be his best friend

But Rem

You’re his everything

And that’s why he’s so afraid

**Rem**

How do you do this?

**Jamie**

Do what?

**Remus**

Pinpoint exactly what the problem is

And know what to say

To ease it a little

**Jamie**

I don’t know

I just know my best mates

Tis all

**Rem**

Sirius is my everything

I love him more than I ever though I could love anyone

But James

I know you’ve already got a best friend

But if you ever had room for one more

I’d gladly take the space

**Jamie**

Re

The space is already yours

You and Sirius

It’s not a competition

I love you both

Pete too

**Rem**

Love you too Jamie

Let’s get giant burgers tomorrow

With onion rings

**Jamie**

Hells yeh!

Bring on tomorrow

I’m going to nip over to see Lils

I’ll be back in a bit

Come down when you’re both ready

And we can watch Hercules

I just renewed Disney plus

**Rem**

Can’t wait


	16. Chapter 16

**The PB to my J**

**Pads**

Remusaur

You’ll NEVER guess who just rang me

**Moons**

Umm

My dad?

That terrifying girl

who essentially bullied you into giving her your number?

Your crazy cousin

who looks like she could turn you to stone with one glance?

**Pads**

Haha

I wish

Ew no (thank God)

And you are actually close with the third one

**Moons**

Your cousin?

Are you ok?

Shall I come home?

J and I are nearly done

**Pads**

No you’re good

it wasn’t Bellatrix

It was Andy!

**Moons**

Really?!

God I can’t remember the last time you spoke to her

How is she?

**Pads**

Yeh shes good

Teds got a conference at McEwan

in a couple of weeks time

and they’re staying up for the weekend

So she was seeing if we could do dinner

**Moons**

Oh cool

That’ll be nice

We can think of someone fancy to take them

**Pads**

That’s what I thought

So we’re doing dinner on the Fri

And then on Sat

I said we’d have Dora for the day/night

so they can have a bit of a romantic weekend

which

unsurprisingly

she was well up for

**Moons**

Wow

Ok

Do you think we’re responsible enough

to look after an actual child for a weekend?

**Pads**

Course we are!

We look after Minty full time

**Moons**

Yes babe

But Minty is a cat

Dora is an actual human child

**Pads**

Ermmm

Excuse you

Minty is not _just_ a cat

She is our baby

And it’ll be fun

We can take her to the zoo or something

**Moons**

How old is she again?

**Pads**

5

5 year olds love the zoo

I’m guessing anyway

**Moons**

Well I love the zoo

And I’m 23

**Pads**

God you’re so cute

I can’t actually cope

**Moons**

No you

**Pads**

Also

It’ll be good practise

For when we’ve got our own littles

**Moons**

Yes

But in like

20 years time

**Pads**

Haha!

You make me laugh

My big Moomin

**Moons**

Why is that funny??

**Pads**

Shit

Better go

I’m going to be late

Kingsley’s saved me a seat

**Moons**

Ok

Well have a great lecture babe

See you at home in a bit

**Pads**

Will do

Love you Re

**Moons**

Love you too

\------------------------------

**My Support Bras**

**Als**

Can we do something tonight maybe?

I’ve had a shitty day

**Lils**

Oh no!

Why?

And yes

Obvs we can

**Als**

Erggggh

Nothing major

Just one of those day

where everything just seems a bit crap

and I had a fight with Frank

Just want my girls

**Lils**

☹

I’m sorry Al

**Als**

Yeh

We’ve made up and stuff

But still

Meh

**Lils**

What shall we do

Want to go out out

Or like have dinner

Or binge watch something at home and eat rubbish

**Als**

Yes to all and any of those

I don’t have a preference

**Lils**

@Marls

@Dorco

What do you think?

**Als**

Will Jam let us use his Disney plus do you reckon Lils?

**Lils**

Yeh course he will

**Als**

Maybe lets just do that then

I could make risotto?

**Lils**

Oooo

The one with the chorizo?

**Als**

Yeh

**Lils**

Yuuuuum

Yes please

**Marls**

Oh I LOVE Als chorizo risotto

I’m not around tonight

☹

I said i’d look over some stuff with Gid

Want me to cancel?

**Als**

Nah

No worries Marls

Will save you some risotto though

**Marls**

You’re the bestest

I think D’s out too though

**Lils**

Oh maaan

Want to see if the boys want to do something then Al?

**Als**

Go on then

I’ll GC it

\-------------------------------

**F.R.I.E.N.D.S**

**Alice**

Lads

I’ve had a shitty day

Wanna cheer me up?

Well me and Lils

**Sirius**

YES!

Let’s go to that indoor dry ski slope!

**Alice**

I was thinking more

Watching Moana and stuffing my face

But sure!

Dry slope skiing also sounds fun

**James**

OMG

I am IN if we’re doing that

Although tbh I’m in if we’re watching Moana too

**Remus**

And you can count me OUT

I’d like to keep all my limbs intact

And that also goes for watching Moana

**Sirius**

☹

Its not my fault you fell over

**Pete**

Padfoot

You literally launched yourself across the room

screaming ‘You are my Moomin!’

**Sirius**

He was supposed to catch me!

**Remus**

Babe I didn’t even see you coming

And I was holding two bottles of cider!

**James**

God I love that song

AND THE CALL ISN’T OUT THERE AT ALL

IT’S INSIDE MEEEEE

**Sirius**

It’s like the t-ide

Always’s falling and ri-sing

**Pete**

I will carry you here in my heart

You’ll remind me

**James**

That come what may

**Sirius**

I know the way

**Remus**

**🙄**

I am Moana

**Sirius**

YOU ARE MY MOOMIN

**Lily**

Umm

What’s happening please?

**Remus**

You just have to roll with it Lils

\------------------------------

**Basic Bitches**

**Marlene Elisabeth**

I feel really guilty D

**Dorcas Ignatia**

Same

Like proper awful

I couldn’t even say anything

**Marlene Elisabeth**

We need to figure out what to do

I need to talk to Remus

who will def have clocked

That me ‘looking over some stuff with Gid’

Is total bollocks

**Dorcas Ignatia**

He’s a saint for not saying anything

**Marlene Elisabeth**

Yes

But I shouldn’t have to put him in that position

**Dorcas Ignatia**

No

You’re right

We’ll tell them soon

I promise

Its just

I’ve sort of liked it

Just being between us

Its not so scary when its just you

**Marlene Elisabeth**

I know sweet

But in reality

If this is going to be a thing

It can’t be secret forever

**Dorcas Ignatia**

I know

I’m almost there

I promise


	17. Chapter 17

**Not Fast, Just Furious**

**Remy**

So

In town

I saw a girl carrying a hamster

So figuring I’d get some practise in

before looking after Sirius’ cousin for the weekend

I thought I’d strike up conversation with her about it

and I asked if I could stroke it

but it turned out it was actually a muffin

so I’m on my way to jump off a cliff

**Marly**

Well I’ll see you on the other side then

Because I’m about to die laughing

WTF is wrong with you??

**Remy**

I don’t know!!

Oh God

The mum looked like she was this close to having me arrested

So I spluttered a very inarticulate apology

and legged it

**Marly**

Good Christ Rem

You’ll be on the news

**Remy**

**☹**

I am very stressed about the whole thing!

but Sirius is so excited

He keeps going on about how it’s good practise for us

For the future

I mean what the fuck??

**Marly**

I think it’s sweet!

A mini Remus and a mini Sirius

Shotgun Godmother

I’m willing to fight Alice on this

**Remy**

_A mini Remus and a mini Sirius_

One small problem there Marls

Sirius and I don’t have a uterus between us

**Marly**

Uterus Smuterus

Theres literally like a billion ways around that

**Remy**

Yeh I know

I guess we’ll have to actually research that at some point

**Marly**

Ooo I’ll help!

You could use my Uterus!

Maybe

Actually I’m not sure

Would that be weird?

**Remy**

I’m not sure

Maybe?

Although maybe it would be nice

If it was someone we knew

But we are getting VERY ahead of ourselves here

I would like to return to freaking out please

**Marly**

I don’t get why you’re stressing?

**Remy**

Marlene

We are looking after an actual human child

For a whole day

and a whole night

**Marly**

I’m sure you can go one night

Without a shag Rem

**Remy**

🖕🏼

**Marly**

**😂**

It’ll be fine Rem

She’s going to have a great time

Sirius said something about the zoo?

**Remy**

Yeh

We thought we’d take her

to see the Penguin Parade

**Marly**

Everyone loves the penguin parade

She’ll love it

**Remy**

But what happens if she doesn’t?

What happens if she has a terrible time?

What happens if she hates me

and Sirius realises I’m awful with children

and breaks up with me?!

**Marly**

Oh FFS  
is that what this is about?

Have you told Sirius this?

**Remy**

Yes!

He laughed

And told me I was adorable

And then I got distracted

because he took his clothes off

**Marly**

Typical

I swear to god

All you two do is bone

**Remy**

Yah

And I apologise to no-one

**Marly**

I don’t blame you

I’m just jealous

I miss being in a non complicated relationship

**Remy**

I wasn’t aware

You were in a complicated relationship…

**Marly**

I’m not!

I’m not in any relationship

I just meant

That it must be nice

Just being able to be

You know

With Sirius

And stuff

And obviously all the sex is a bonus

**Remy**

Sure

How’s Gid by the way?

**Marly**

Fuck

I was sort of hoping

That we could not talk about that?

**Remy**

I did wonder

I’m not going to pry

But Marls

I really hope you know what you’re doing

**Marly**

I’ve got no fucking clue what I’m doing!!

That’s the problem

And I can’t even talk to anyone about it

**Remy**

Look

I don’t know what’s going on

But I’m guessing it has something to do with Dorcas

And don’t worry

I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who has an inkling

only because of what you said before

So don’t panic

But be careful

**Marly**

I wish I could tell you Rem

But I promised

And it’s not just about me

**Remy**

I get that

But

The Marly I know

Wouldn’t ditch her best friend who had a shit day

To fuck around behind her back

**Marly**

I’m not fucking around!

**Remy**

Not the point Marlene

You know what I meant

**Marly**

Yeh I do

Shit

We felt so guilty

**Remy**

Then that’s probably a sign

That you need to go about whatever you’re doing

Some other way

**Marly**

I know

We’re getting there

Well

I’m already there

But it’s a big deal for her you know?

**Remy**

Yeh

I imagine it is

But the two of you

Need to weigh up

Whether this is worth losing Lily and Alice over

And I’m not saying it’ll come to that

but keeping secrets from your friends

never ends well

**Marly**

I know you’re right

I’m sorry you’re now sort of in the middle now

**Remy**

Not ideal no

But I love you M

I love both of you

So I hope this works out

**Marly**

I love you too

We’ll sort it

Soon

\------------------------------

**F.R.I.E.N.D.S**

**Sirius**

Right gang

Weekend after next

Who’s up for a trip to the zoo?

**James**

ME!

God I can’t wait to see those penguins

Waddle waddle waddle

**Sirius**

OMG

We should DEF watch Happy Feet tonight

Love it when Re does his Elvis impression

**Lily**

Remus does an Elvis impression??

**Sirisu**

YES

I’m not gonna lie

It does things to me

**Pete**

We know

**James**

We know

**Alice**

Hahaha!

A little less conversation a little more action please

**Sirius**

Oh don’t you worry Ali

There’s plenty of action

**Pete**

Again

We know

**James**

Remus Lupin

Looks like an angel

Walks like an angel

Talks like an angel

But I got wise

He’s the devil in disguise

**Marlene**

**🥵**

**Remus**

You bet I am

If you’re my good boy later Pads

Baby I’m gonna teach you what’s love all about tonight

**Sirius**

I really

really

want to take my clothes off

**Pete**

Please don’t

Not in front of my brownie

**Lily**

Good grief

Well that’s an insight

I wasn’t aware I needed on this fine Tuesday morning

**Dorcas**

Tbh

I’m more impressed

that we had so many Elvis lyrics to hand

**Sirius**

I forget what we were talking about

**James**

PENGUIN PARADE!

**Sirius**

Yes!  
So who is up for the zoo?

I’m gonna pre book tickets

**Pete**

I’m in

**Lily**

Same

I’m excited to have a genuine reason

to get the child’s activity pack

those things always have awesome stickers

**Dorcas**

I’m going to have to give it a miss I’m afraid

**Marlene**

Me too ☹

**Alice**

No!

Whhhyyy?

**Dorcas**

I’ve got a presentation on the Monday

**Marlene**

Presenting in a seminar on Mon

**Lily**

Oh

Well that sucks

**Alice**

Yes

It does

**Marlene**

We’ll come out for dinner though

**Lily**

Good

**Marlene**

I mean I’ll come for dinner

Not sure about Dorky?

**Dorcas**

Yes I’ll come for dinner

That’ll be something to look forward too

**Lily**

If you were coming to the zoo

You’d have that to look forward too

**Remus**

So we’ll book for 8?

Frank’s coming right A?

**Alice**

Yeh

He wouldn’t miss a gang day out

**Sirius**

Will do that now

Well

After Petey and I have finished our cake date

We’ll bring something back for you R & J

**James**

Ooo yes please

**Remus**

Sounds good!

\------------------------------

**The Marauders**

**Padfoot**

So

Wormy and I have been chatting

That was awkward right?

With the girls

**James**

Good god yes!

I texted Lils

To ask if everything was ok

but not had a reply

**Padfoot**

I wonder what’s going on with them

**Wormtail**

Alice and Lily seemed proper annoyed

**James**

Yeh I did get that vibe

Lils did actually mention something a few days ago

But I thought that had all been sorted

**Padfoot**

Actually Alice spoke to me too

I didn’t bother saying anything

Because as you said

It seemed back to normal the next day

**Wormtail**

Weird

Do you reckon they’ve had a row

As in Lily and Alice

And Marlene and Dorcas

and are trying to keep in under wraps?

**Padfoot**

Perhaps

But that’s v not like them

and I also think they would have said

**James**

I don’t like it

Maybe Lily will say something

I don’t want to ask if she doesn’t volunteer though

**Padfoot**

Fair enough

**Wormtail**

Wait I see I guess

\------------------------------

**Wolfbucks**

**Jamie**

So

You’ve gone very quiet

In the old lads chat

You ok?

**Rem**

Yeh I’m all good

I just don’t want to get involved

That’s all

**Jamie**

Which is totally fair

But I also know you Rem

and I don’t want to get involved

usually means

you know something

but don’t trust yourself not to say something

**Rem**

Please don’t make me J

This isn’t my secret to tell

**Jamie**

Of course not

But

If it’s getting to you

I’m here to talk through

Shall we say any hypothetical situations

If you need

**Rem**

Yeh I know

Cheers Prongs

Love you lots

**Jamie**

Like Jelly Tots

Now get yourself home

Padfoot and Wormy have just got back

and not only have they bought cake

but Padfoot has gone into yourroom

and cranked up Hound Dog

and I’m 99% sure he’s getting naked

**Rem**

On.

My.

Way.


	18. Chapter 18

**PB to my J**

_Missed call from Pads_

**Moons**

Sorry babe

Literally about to go into Phil

Call you after?

Everything ok?

**Pads**

Yes all good

Just

You remember me telling you

about that company

that was recruiting for translators?

**Moons**

The one in Paris?

That has the fancy office in London?

**Pads**

That’s the one

Well Prof M sent off of some transcripts

and a few of us have been selected to go and meet the CEO

as part of a networking weekend

**Moons**

Oh my god Sirius!

This is amazing!

I’m so proud of you

**Pads**

Thanks Moons

I’m pretty chuffed

**Moons**

Translations the dream!

**Pads**

It really is

I’ve got to take a portfolio of edited transcripts

so I really need to up my game

**Moons**

Well that’s ok isn’t it?

Will the stuff you do in your group study work?

**Pads**

Yeh it will

A few of us who are going

have said that we’d maybe meet a couple of times a week

to go through each others’ work

sort of like peer reviewing

**Moons**

That’s a really good idea

Look at you being all grown up

You’re so amazing Pads

You really deserve this

**Pads**

Thanks Remusaur

Love you

The weekend we’re due to go is Valentines though

Does that matter?

**Moons**

No of course not!

This is way more important

Anyway

We don’t really do any of that stuff anyway

**Pads**

What stuff?

**Moons**

Like going out on dates etc

Romantic stuff

**Pads**

Re

You got me tattooed on your body

for my birthday

that’s pretty romantic

**Moons**

Oh yeh

I suppose it was

Well

We can do something when you get back then

**Pads**

That sounds perfect

Although I wouldn’t say no

to a bit of Valentines phone sex…

**Moons**

Ugh

Yesss

**Pads**

Are you in your lecture??

**Moons**

Unfortunately yes

because I would very much like to continue this

**Pads**

I could always sleep in my room tonight

Just saying

**Moons**

Although the idea of phone sex this eve

is incredibly appealing

theres no way I’m letting you sleep in your bed

when you could be in mine

\------------------------------

**A Good Pear**

**Alice**

MATE!

I just saw Hes on campus

You’re going to LEHM??

**Sirius**

OMG I know!

I’m so excited Alice

I could get an actual real life job out of this!!

**Alice**

This is a Big Deal

Who else is going with?

**Sirius**

It’s Me, Kings, Hes, Penny & Clara

I think that’s it

**Alice**

Wicked

They’re all nice

Do you have a timetable of what you’re doing yet?

**Sirius**

Yeh

Got it emailed through this morning

‘Dear Mr. Black, please find attached the agenda for the forthcoming networking conference at LEHM’

It felt like the real bloody deal

**Alice**

That’s because it is!

God I’m so pumped for you

What are you going to be doing?

**Sirius**

Friday night is dinner

Saturday morning is ‘leisure time’

before a working lunch

and then a lecture in the afternoon

then another dinner

home on the Sunday

but I think we’re going to get a late flight

so we have the day to sightsee

**Alice**

Oh my god!

Is this at the Paris office??

**Sirius**

Yeh!

**Alice**

No waaaayy!

Sirius this SO COOL

**Sirius**

I knooow!

We were all texting earlier

The girls want to the The Louvre on the Sat morn

But I’ve done that so many time

So I think Kingsley and I are going to Saint Germain-des-Pres

We can go to Café de Flore!

**Alice**

Yeh?

**Sirius**

Yeh

**Alice**

Oh ok

Bit of an odd choice though?

**Sirius**

Really

Why??

**Alice**

Well maybe not

But isn’t the Saturday the 14th?

**Sirius**

Yeh I think so

**Alice**

So you’re ok with going

to what is essentially the part of Paris

where existentialism was born

and having coffee in the same café that Satre & Beauvoir frequented

on Valentines Day

with someone who is not your boyfriend

your philosophy obsessed boyfriend I might add

**Sirius**

Oh

I hadn’t actually thought about that

I don’t think Re would mind?

**Alice**

I’d bloody mind!

**Sirius**

Remus is too relaxed about stuff

To worry about something like that

**Alice**

If you say so

\------------------------------

**Private Message**

**Kingsley**

Hey Sirius

I spoke to Clara earlier

She’s keen on the peer reviewing

Shall we agree on a couple of night this week?

**Sirius**

Yeh good idea

want to get started

I feel like I’ve got loads to do

**Kingsley**

Oh god same here

What days are good for you?

**Sirius**

I’m easy

**Kingsley**

I bet you are

Lol

Tuesday/Friday?

**Sirius**

Haha

Yep that works for me

**Kingsley**

Coolio

I’ll text the group and see what they think

I’m so pumped for this

**Sirius**

Me too

Its going to be wicked weekend I reckon

**Kingsley**

I need to get a new suit

You think dinner on the Sat is Black Tie?

**Sirius**

Oh I’m not sure

I don’t think it said?

But yeh

Probs

Shit like that always is

**Kingsley**

I bet you’re already all kitted out

**Sirius**

More or less!

Although might have to tone down my usual

Not sure maroon velvet is what they’re after

**Kingsley**

Nah bet you’d rock it

I’ll have to make you come suit shopping with me

You can be my personal stylist

**Sirius**

Yas!

Love a bit of suit shopping

Reckon you’d do a good charcoal grey

Maybe a herringbone

**Kingsley**

This is what I’m talking about

I have no clue what herringbone is

**Sirius**

Haha

Also

While I’ve got you

Was thinking earlier

Rather than Saint Germain on the Sat

What do you think about heading up to the Sacre Coeur?

**Kingsley**

Oh is that they big white church thing?

**Sirius**

That’s the one

The view from up there is awesome

See if we can persuade the girls along too

**Kingsley**

Sounds good

Although they were pretty set on the Louvre

But you’re the one who knows what they’re talking about

So we shall follow you!

**Sirius**

Amazeballs

Gtg

Going to meet Re after his lecture

**Kingsley**

Sweet

Speak later

**Sirius**

Laters

\------------------------------

**PB to my J**

**Pads**

Are you done?

**Moons**

Nearly

Just hanging back

Want to ask Dr W a quick question

**Pads**

You’re so cute

I love you so much

I’m waiting outside for you

**Moons**

Oh yay!

That’s a nice surprise

**Pads**

Thought we could go get coffee and cake somewhere

**Moons**

Well that sounds like a perfect end to my day

Love you

See you in 5

**Pads**

Kisses awaiting!


	19. Chapter 19

**Jily**

**James**

Where have you gone?

Come back to bed

I’m cold

**Lily**

I need to get ready!

I start at 9

**James**

It’s only half 7

Liiillls

Don’t ignore me

It can’t take you an hour to get ready

**Lily**

I need to have my tea

I need to have a shower

I need to get dressed

etc etc

**James**

No

No getting dressed

**Lily**

You might enjoy me being naked

but pretty sure I’d get arrested

if I walked up to campus

with no clothes on

**James**

Did you say naked?

Yes please!

**Lily**

**🙄**

Did you even read the other messages

**James**

Nope

**Lily**

You’re an idiot

**James**

Fine

I’ll read them now

You’re right

You would get arrested

**Lily**

Exactly

**James**

For having the sexiest body

literally ever

**Lily**

High key disagree

with that statement

**James**

Then you’re the idiot

Just thinking about your body

Yuuuuum

If I close my eyes I can actually feel your hips in my hands

Please come back?

**Lily**

I was just about to get in the shower

**James**

Lilllly

Don’t make me do this without you

**Lily**

James Potter

Don’t you dare wank in my bed

**James**

I wouldn’t have to if you were here

And anyway

Its your fault

You were the one who started

with the you being naked talk

**Lily**

What if I compromise

**James**

I’m listening…

**Lily**

Come join me in the shower

I am willing to give you 10 minutes of my time

OMG James

Why did I just hear Marlene scream???

and what was that thump??

**James**

Umm

I don’t know?

**Lily**

For crying out loud

PLEASE tell me

you put your jogging bottoms back on

before you left my room

**James**

I put my jogging bottoms on before I left your room?

**Lily**

JAMES!

**James**

I’m sorry!

I got over excited!

The thought of shower times

with you

It was all too much

And its not my fault

Marlene was walking past your room

at the exact same time I opened your bedroom door

**Lily**

Oh for gods sake

You’ve probably scarred the poor girl!

**James**

Well she scarred Little James

Or should I say BIG James

**Lily**

You shouldn’t say anything at all!

Poor Marlene

No-one wants your boner shoved in their face at quarter to 8 on a Thursday!

**James**

☹

Well now we’re both sad

**Lily**

What was the breaking noise??

**James**

Yes about that

Marlene may have been carrying a cup of tea

and I may have slapped it out of her hand

before slamming your bedroom door shut

in her face

**Lily**

Why??

Why would you do that?

**James**

I don’t know!

She screamed

and it startled me!

And my fight or flight response kicked in

**Lily**

So you’re fight or flight response

is to slap a cup of tea out of someones hands

**James**

Yes

It would seem that way

**Lily**

Go and apologise!

**James**

Ok Lily

**Lily**

With your trousers on!

**James**

Oh yeh!

Good shout!

Can I come in after?

**Lily**

Yes

If Little James behaves

**James**

He will

Can’t speak for Big James though

**😉**

\------------------------------

**The Marauders**

**Moony**

Umm Prongs

Why do I have

a hysterical voice message

from Marlene

about your penis?

**Wormtail**

Good christ

It’s not even 9am J

**Prongs**

Ahh yes

About that

There was a small incident this morning

and Marlene just happened to be on the receiving end

**Pads**

Come again…?

**Moony**

Oh god

I certainly hope that wasn’t what happened!

**Wormtail**

I’d just like to reiterate my previous sentiment

It’s not even 9AM

**Prongs**

I’ll reiterate your previous sentiment Wormy

**Wormtail**

What does that even mean??

**Prongs**

Not really sure

But it felt like the right thing to say

**Moony**

Focus Jam

You

Marlene

Your penis?

**Prongs**

Oh

Well

I forgot that when I’m at the girls house

It’s probably not wise

to walk around in the nude

when in an excitable state

**Padfoot**

HAHAHA

Lucky Marlene though

I wouldn’t mind an eyeful of James Potter

You fine specimen

**Prongs**

Why thank you Padfoot

Moony?

Wormtail?

Anything to add?

**Moony**

Oh yes

Sorry Prongs

I can only wish

to be as fortunate as Marlene was this morning

You are a god among us mortals

**Padfoot**

@Wormtail

Come on now

You know what to do

**Wormtail**

Umm

James

Congratulations on your great penis?

**Prongs**

Ahh thanks lads

I needed that this morning

I mean she screamed pretty loud

It was almost as though she didn’t enjoy the experience

**Padfoot**

What a fool she is

\------------------------------

**The PB to my J**

**Pads**

Remus?

**Moons**

Yes?

**Pads**

I was wondering

**Moons**

Yes?

**Pads**

Will you go out with me?

**Moon**

Umm

Yes?

**Pads**

😊

**Moons**

You’re so silly

God I just want to kiss you all over your gorgeous face

**Pads**

oh yes please!

But I mean it though

Will you go out with me?

As in can I take you out for dinner?

**Moons**

That would be lovely

What’s brought this on?

Not that I’m complaining

**Pads**

Well

You said yesterday

That we’re not a couple ‘like that’

and I was thinking last night

that I would very much like to be a couple ‘like that’

**Moons**

Oh no!

I didn’t mean to upset you or anything

I just meant that

Well we sort of skipped that initial first dates bit

Didn’t we

And headed straight into domestic bliss

**Pads**

No I wasn’t upset

I got what you meant

And you’re totally right

We never did first dates

Because let’s be honest

We’d be dating for two years already

By the time we actually got together

Just you were sleeping with someone else

**Moons**

Hey!

Although

True

Just maybe don’t phrase it like that

when you tell our Grandchildren that story

**Pads**

Grandchildren

I’m not even joking

when I think about that

I feel like I might explode with happiness

**Moons**

And we’re right back to me wanting to kiss you all over your gorgeous face

and maybe give your bum a squeeze

Where are you taking me then?

**Pads**

Will you let me take you to Piccolino?

**Moons**

Umm

YES I WILL

**Pads**

Yay!

I’ve already booked a table

**Moons**

You were pretty sure of yourself

I might have said no

**Pads**

Not when I tell you

That I want to try

That thing we talked about

After we’ve been out

**Moons**

Oh

Yeh

**Pads**

Thought that would do it

We’re eating at 8

Wear your pink shirt

**Moons**

You really like the pink shirt don’t you

**Pads**

The amount of erotic fantasies

you in that pink shirt has starred in

Yes I like the pink shirt

**Moons**

Well maybe you can wear the pink shirt

After we’ve come back from dinner

**Pads**

Nnnnggghhh

**Moons**

Yeh

I thought that would do it

**Pads**

You play dirty

I love it

\------------------------------

**Private Message**

**Kingsley**

Mate!

Total nightmare with the ECE transcript

Any chance you’re free this afternoon?

**Sirius**

Free til about 6ish

Shall I come to you?

**Kinglsey**

Ahh yes!

That would be amazing

**Sirius**

No worries

I’ll grab some lunch

And head over

You’re on Marchmont Road aren’t you?

**Kingsley**

Yep

Number 32

**Sirius**

Awesome

See you in a bit


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You called it...

**The PB to my J**

**Moons**

Have you left yet?

Where abouts are you?

I could come and meet you

and we can go from there if its easier?

I’ve put my pink shirt on

😉

_Incoming call from Moons_

_Hey this is Sirius, leave a message and I’ll get back to you_

“Hiii babe, its me. Obviously. Umm, just wondering where you are and if we’re still going out? Not sure if I should just start heading towards the restaurant or not so yeh, ring me back when you listen to this. Love you.”

I’m guessing your phone’s died

I’m gonna head into town

**Pads**

Shit

I’m so sorry Re

I honestly had no idea what the time was

**Moons**

Oh thank god

I was beginning to get a bit worried

Are you done?

**Pads**

I’m REALLY sorry

but can we reschedule?

We’re not even nearly finished

and now I’m stressing about it

**Moons**

Oh ok

Yeh course we can

_Incomming call from Pads_

_Declined_

Sorry I’m on the bus

You won’t be able to hear anything

**Pads**

No worries

Where are you going??

**Moons**

Well I was going into town

I thought maybe you were going to meet me there

or something

I’ll just get off at the next stop

**Pads**

Remus I’m so sorry

We can go tomorrow

or Saturday

**Moons**

It really doesn’t matter

It was a nice idea

But its not exactly the end of the world is it

**Pads**

I suppose not

Feel like shit though

**Moons**

Please don’t

I’ll do you some dinner for when you get home

Fancy anything in particular?

**Pads**

No its ok

I’ll eat at Kingsleys

I think we’re going to order a Chinese

**Moons**

Oh

I didn’t know you were at Kingsleys

**Pads**

Yes you did

**Moons**

No

I didn’t

**Pads**

When I spoke to you earlier

I said a few of us were meeting up

To go over the ECE transcripts

**Moons**

I thought you meant on campus or something

I didn’t realise you were at his

Who else is there?

**Pads**

Does it matter?? 

**Moons**

No I suppose not

Sorry

Miss you though

**Pads**

I miss you too

Give me a couple of hours

and then I’ll be home

We can cuddle in bed

and watch something on the laptop

**Moons**

That sounds nice

😊

**Pads**

I better go

Love you

**Moons**

Love you too

\------------------------------

**Not Fast, Just Furious**

**Remy**

Are you and D still in town?

**Marly**

I am

D’s not

She had a lecture at 5

Why?

**Remy**

Want to go for a drink?

**Marly**

Yes!

Where are you?

**Remy**

Just got off the bus

Am on Rose Street

Was supposed to be meeting Sirius

but he’s stood me up

so

**🤷🏼‍♂️**

**Marly**

WTF?

What do you mean he’s stood you up?

**Remy**

I’m being dramatic

We were going to have dinner

but he’s got work he needs to finish

**Marly**

I feel there’s more to this Rem

**Remy**

Nah

I don’t even know why I’m upset about it

I mean its not like I’m not going to see him later

**Marly**

I’m confused

Where is he?

**Remy**

Well he said he was meeting up

with ‘a few’ people

to go over some things

but it turns out that a few people

meant Kingsley

at Kingsleys house

where they are now having a Chinese

**Marly**

Shit Rem

That’s crappy

youre not worried or anything are you?

Because this is Sirius 

Completely in love with you Sirius 

**Remy**

No I’m not worried 

I’m just

ergh!

I don’t want to be a dick

I know how important this work is

and it’s not like he’s actually kept anything from me

I don’t want to be the jealous boyfriend

**Marly**

I don’t think you are being one

Tbf Sirius probs could have phrased it better

Is it just the two of them?

**Remy**

No idea

I asked who was there

and he said does it matter

which is fair

it shouldn’t matter

**Marly**

Hmmm

Well

Let’s go for a drink

Rose and crown in 10?

**Remy**

Sounds good

\------------------------------

**A Good Pear**

**Alice**

PLEASE don’t tell me what Marlene is saying is true

and you didn’t actually stand Remus up for dinner

and are now having Chinese with Kingsley??

**Sirius**

I didn’t stand him up!

He said he didn’t mind!

**Alice**

Fucking hell Sirius!

What are you doing?

**Sirius**

Nothing!!

I’m actually quite offended that you think I WOULD be doing something!

**Alice**

Oh I don’t mean it like that!

And he might have told you he didn’t mind

But Marls said he was upset

**Sirius**

Well he didn’t tell me that

**Alice**

I’d be upset too

If my boyfriend was supposed to take me out

and then cancelled so he could have dinner with another bloke

**Sirius**

That’s not what happened

You’re making it sound 1000 times worse than it is

We were working

I didn’t realise how late it was

Spoke to Rem and we agreed to reschedule

**Alice**

Still don’t see why you couldn’t have just left 

**Sirius**

Because we still had loads to do

We were on a roll

**Alice**

Right

So much that you needed to stay and have dinner

**Sirius**

Oh fuck off Alice

It’s not like we’re had a candle lit dinner for two

Hes and Clara were here

**Alice**

Are you still there?

**Sirius**

Yes

**Alice**

Are Hes and Clara?

**Sirius**

No

**Alice**

GO HOME

\------------------------------

**The PB to my J**

**Pads**

Are you awake?

**Moons**

Yeh

Where are you?

**Pads**

In my room

I got back really late

Didn’t want to wake you up

**Moons**

Oh ok

**Pads**

Alice said you were upset last night

Marlene told her

**Moons**

Oh FFS

I wasn’t upset

**Pads**

Remus

we said we’d talk

**Moons**

Ok fine

I was a bit upset

I don’t even know why

I’m fine now though

**Pads**

Promise?

**Moons**

Promise

**Pads**

Good

Now that’s cleared up

We’ve got another problem

**Moons**

What’s up?

**Pads**

The duvet inspector sent me an emergency text

I’m supposed to test the quality of your duvet

STAT

**Moons**

Duvet inspector?

**Pads**

Yes

Urgent

He told me

**Moons**

Oh

Well in that case

You should probably come and inspect my duvet

**Pads**

I’ll be right there

Thank you for taking this Siriusly

#urgent


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry but it's another prose chapter, I know people prefer the texting ones but I didn't know how to make it work in texts - back to normal next chapter.
> 
> Also, there's smut in this one so if that's not for you please do skip it 😊

The door creaked slightly on its hinges as Sirius pushed it open; the room was still dark, sunlight just beginning to filter through the thin curtains hung at the window, a faint smell of menthol in the air. He padded over to the bed and sat down, reaching a hand out to run his fingers through Remus’ messy curls.

‘Morning lovely Re,’ he whispered, ‘You ok? It smells like you plugged in the cold thingy.’

Remus gave a yawn and rolled over, pressing a kiss to the crook of Sirius’ elbow as he went. ‘Yeh I’m fine, just had a headache before bed, thought it might help,’ he mumbled sleepily, ‘Did you sleep ok?’

‘Yeh,’ Sirius nodded, now gently stroking over the tattoo on Remus’ collar bone, ‘Missed you though.’

‘You should have just come in,’ Remus said, propping himself up on the elbows and looking at Sirius, ‘I’m surprised you didn’t.’

‘I didn’t want to disturb you,’ Sirius said, and he paused before continuing, ‘And I thought you might be mad at me.’

‘Nah,’ Remus said, leaning forward nuzzle at Sirius’ neck briefly before pulling away, ‘I mean it wasn’t the best feeling knowing your boyfriend would rather be having dinner with someone else but,’

‘I wouldn’t rather have dinner with someone else!’ Sirius interrupted, voice rising slightly. Remus raised his eyebrows at him, ‘Sorry, sorry, but I don’t think that’s a fair thing to say.’

‘Why?’ Remus asked, he didn’t sound angry, just curious, ‘Surely you can see it from my point of view. We said we’d go out for dinner. Actually, that’s not true. YOU asked me out for dinner and then less than 5 hours later you’re saying you can’t make it because you’re eating with someone else.’

‘Yes, but I didn’t plan to eat with someone else, it just made sense to eat there than to stop what we were doing to come home to eat. I feel like I’m being accused of something and I don’t know what!’

‘I’m not accusing you of anything.’

‘Yeh well I’ve had in the neck from Alice and Marlene too.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Yeh me too. Why did you say it was ok if it wasn’t?’

‘Uh I don’t know.’ Remus huffed, flopping back onto his pillow, ‘I was on the bus and I was looking forward to dinner and then there was no dinner and I know how important this work is Sirius, I mean this could literally get you the job of your dreams, but I don’t know, I still felt like you chose spending time with Kingsley over spending time with me.’

‘Oh my god Remus, please don’t tell me this is a Kingsley thing?’

‘No, no of course not, Kingsley’s great.’

Sirius looked down at Remus before saying slowly, ‘Yes, he is. And it’s really helpful to have someone to go through all of this with, so I’m probably am going to be spending a fair amount of time with him over the next few weeks.’

‘I know.’

‘Right, well, are we ok?’

‘Yeh course,’ Remus said, ‘Sorry,’ he added.

‘So, I am. I’m sorry I missed dinner and I’m especially sorry if I made you feel like you were my second choice. You’ll always be my first choice Re.’ 

Remus hummed, bringing a hand up to his mouth and beginning to chew on a hangnail. ‘Remus,’ Sirius said more loudly, gently wrapping his own hand around Remus’ wrist and pulling it away, ‘Remus. Come on, don’t be like this. I never saw you jealous when you were with Fabian.’

Remus looked at him, eyes bright, ‘That’s because I didn’t love him. There wasn’t as much to lose.’

‘Oh Moo,’ Sirius sighed, ‘You aren’t losing anything. Can I get in?’ he gestured to the bed and Remus shuffled over to make space. 

Sirius clambered in next to him and tugged the duvet up around them both before rolling over, so they were lying face to face. ‘We’re a right pair at the moment aren’t we,’ he said, and Remus laughed slightly shuffling forwards to rest his head against Sirius’ shoulder, ‘I promise you; you aren’t losing anything ok?’ Sirius continued, tugging Remus closer still and dropping a kiss into his hair.

‘Yeh ok. Sorry, I don’t know why I’m suddenly being such a jealous Annie.’

‘Me neither, because there is literally nothing to be jealous off. Yes Kingsley’s got the French but he doesn’t have these,’ Sirius fluttered his fingers over the freckles on Remus’ cheeks, ‘Or these,’ he ran his thumbs underneath Remus’ mismatched eyes, ‘Or this,’ he tangled their legs together and bent his head to kiss over his tattoo, ‘Or this big brain of yours,’ he tapped the side of Remus’ head, ‘Or,’ he paused, grabbing Remus hand and pressing it to his own bare chest, over his heart, ‘Or this.’

Remus flexed his fingers a few times, feeling the warm, smooth skin underneath before snorting, ‘Oh my god, you think you’re so fucking smooth.’

Sirius grinned back at him, ‘It’s worked though hasn’t it.’

Remus rolled his eyes as Sirius threw him a wink, ‘Ergh, maybe.’

‘Maybe, hmm,’ Sirius said, gripping Remus more tightly and tipping them so he was lying on top, Remus pinned beneath him.

‘Maybe,’ Remus affirmed, trying half heartedly to wriggle free. Sirius smirked at him and leant down to box him in further, running his hands down Remus’ sides, stopping just above his hips and digging his fingers in, tickling him hard.

Remus shrieked and kicked his legs which just spurred Sirius on, ‘It worked though, didn’t it?’ he repeated as Remus continued to thrash around trying to dislodge Sirius’ fingers which were continuing to tickle him mercilessly.

‘Stop, Sirius stop it!’

‘Didn’t it?’

‘Yes, yes,’ Remus choked out through his laughter, ‘Yes it worked.’

‘Good,’ Sirius said obviously satisfied and he rolled back on to his side behind Remus, hitching a leg up over Remus’ thighs and pulling at him until his back was firmly pressed against Sirius’ chest, ‘You sound so cute when you giggle. I love it.’

‘I can tell,’ Remus replied, wriggling in hips back against Sirius groin, feeling him half hard against his arse.

‘Stop that you,’ Sirius chastised, ‘I’m trying to have moment here.’

‘And I would very much like to have a moment there,’ Remus said, grinding back more insistently, ‘I could put the pink shirt on.’

‘Mmm, that sounds like a nice way to start the day,’ Sirius agreed, beginning to kiss along Remus’ jaw, stopping to suck a bruise into the soft skin just behind his ear, his own hips now moving in time with Remus’.

Remus twisted round so they could kiss properly, sighing contently as Sirius nipped at his bottom lip. He slipped his hands underneath the waist band of Sirius’ pyjama bottoms and gave his arse a squeeze.

Sirius pulled back, slightly breathless, ‘You wanna?’ he asked, pushing back into Remus’ hands.

‘Yeh,’ Remus whispered, shifting on top of him, thighs on either side of Sirius’ hips, his hands on his chest. Sirius made a soft noise in the back of this throat and pulled Remus down, kissing him hard.

‘What do you want to do?’ Remus mumbled against Sirius’ lips, pressing his hips down again and feeling Sirius’ answering grind.

‘This, this is good,’ Sirius answered, voice wavering slightly as he circled his hips, reaching down to push at the waistband of Remus’ pyjamas, ‘Off, off.’

‘Yeh,’ Remus agreed, as Sirius shoved them down far enough that he could kick them off altogether, before doing the same to his own. Both boys groaned at the feeling of hot skin, cocks pressed together, and Sirius swore his eyes rolled at how good it felt. 

‘Fuck,’ Remus panted, as Sirius smoothed his hands up the strong expanse of Remus’ back, ‘We need lube.’ 

‘Hmm,’ Sirius made a noise of assent but made no indication that he was willing to move from where he was pinned underneath Remus, pushing his heels into the backs of Remus’ calves in an attempt to get him to grind down harder against him.

Remus gave an amused huff, untangling their legs and rolling away onto his back, stretching over to reach the bedside table. ‘No,’ Sirius whined, making grabby hands at Remus who snatched up the lube, squeezing probably too much into his hand before settling back on top of Sirius, who reached up with both hands to cup his face and then kissed him filthily. 

Remus moaned into his mouth and reached between them, closing his fist around them both, spreading the lube around before wiping his hand on the sheet and grabbing Sirius’ arse once more. He leant up a little and coaxed Sirius’ legs apart, so their thighs slotted snuggly together and then rutted down hard and fast, in a unrelenting rhythm.

Sirius had gone quiet, chin titled up against and his mouth slightly open, his breaths coming in harsh pants as he pushed up to meet Remus’ thrusts, his blunt nails digging into Remus’ back. ‘Re,’ his voice was strained, ‘Please.’

‘I’m going to come,’ Remus groaned, dropping his head so he could mouth over the sweaty skin at Sirius throat, before nipping gently at his adams apple. 

‘You’re so fucking gorgeous, oh god, Remus,’ Sirius breathed out as Remus stilled, hips stuttering, his eyes squeezing shut as he came between them with a punched-out gasp. ‘I’m close,’ Sirius said, ‘Fuck I’m so close.’

‘Baby,’ Remus groaned, collapsing onto Sirius’ chest, his hips still rocking in slow circles as Sirius ground up against his stomach, muscles tensing.

‘I love you, Re,’ Sirius said, as he wound his legs and arms around him, palms slipping slightly on Remus’ sweat covered back. Remus made some sort of broken sound into the crook of Sirius’ neck, ‘I love you so, _ah_ , much.

Remus lifted his head, blindly looking for Sirius’ mouth with his own and kissing him long and slow before pulling away and saying, ‘I love you too.’ Sirius’ back arched and he pushed up once, twice before coming, white hot, with a low groan.

‘Fucking hell,’ Sirius huffed out a laugh as Remus nodded, tucking his face back into Sirius’ neck. Sirius ran his hand along Remus’ wing bones and then round, pressing two fingers under his chin and bringing his face up so he could look at him.

Sirius smiled and nuzzled against Remus’ slightly rough cheek, ‘Stubble,’ he mumbled, licking and biting along Remus’ jaw, tasting salt, before reaching his mouth and kissing him.

‘Need to shave,’ Remus said half-heartedly, before returning the kiss, ‘We should probably clean up.’ He made no attempt to move, wrapping his hands around Sirius and holding him tightly.

‘Shift,’ Sirius instructed, tipping his hips up, dislodging Remus as he reached for his pyjamas, moping them both up.

‘Thanks,’ Remus sighed giving Sirius a lopsided smile and he reached up to tuck his hair behind his ears, ‘Come shower with me?’

‘Yeh, ok,’ Sirius agreed but Remus evidently saw something in his expression because he tilted his head to the side, ‘What?’

‘It’s nothing Re, just,’ he trailed off.

‘Just,’ Remus prompted.

‘I’m sorry Remus, I’m so sorry. And I meant it, you are my number one, you’ll always be my number one, ok?’

Remus touched his fingers to Sirius’ prominent cheekbones, ‘I love you,’ he whispered back.

Sirius smiled, Remus’ favourite smile, that he only saw when they were alone, a smile just for him before asking, ‘We’re going to ok aren’t we?’

‘Yeah,’ Remus nodded, ‘Of course we are.’


	22. Chapter 22

**PB to my J**

**Moons**

You on campus?

**Pads**

Yeh

I’m with K and the girls

**Moons**

Can you come home?

I’ve got a letter

from the uni

**Pads**

Ahhhh!

Ok

Literally leaving now

Will be there in 15

I love you

**Moons**

Love you too

\------------------------------

**F.R.I.E.N.D.S**

**Remus**

Guys

I got it

**Alice**

Fuck oooffffff!

YES REM

**Dorcas**

You are the frickin man Remus

Well done!

**Marlene**

AAAHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHH

**Pete**

Congrats man

**Marlene**

Pete!

I was in the middle of something

Let me continue

HHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHH

REMUS

REMUS

R-E-M-U-S

**James**

MOONY

You did it!

Obviously I knew you would

I mean who wouldn’t want you

you are amazing

and perfect

and one of the best thing thats ever happened to the world

and to me

AND NOW OUR LOVE STORY CAN CONTINUE NEXT YEAR

**Lils**

What James said

but a little more toned down

Rem really

You so deserve this

Congratulations!

**Remus**

Thanks everyone

I can’t actually believe it

**Alice**

Did you scream when you read the letter?

**Remus**

I did not

I gave a very subtle and dignified cheer

**Sirius**

He’s lying

He gave the most adorable squeal you’ve ever heard

and then picked me up and spun me round

before sticking his tongue down my throat

**Dorcas**

Lol

Can’t keep that cool persona alive

with that boyfriend of yours around hey Rem

**Remus**

Sigh

It would seem not

Sirius tells the truth

I squealed

It actually did something to the back of my throat

it feels funny now

**Lils**

You sure it was the squeal?

**James**

You sure it was the squeal?

Yes flower!

**Marlene**

Oh God

It’s the rise of #Lames

They are becoming as one

Although

It’s a fair point

You’ve both got form

You sure it wasn’t something else Rem?

**Sirius**

I can make it something else Moo

If you get my drift

**😉**

**Remus**

I dunno

You stopped sobbing hysterically?

**Sirius**

Hey!

☹

I was excited

**Remus**

I know

I’m teasing cariad bach

It was sweet

**Pete**

Padfoot’s crying??

**Sirius**

Well yeh

It was a very emotional moment!

I don’t want to get sappy in the GC

but

I’m not sure I’ve been more proud of anything or anyone

in my entire life

**Alice**

You two are just adorbs

S have you given him the you know what??

**Dorcas**

Oooo

What’s the you know what??

**Remus**

**Lily**

Is that a bloody Mulberry??

That’s SO nice

**Remus**

Isn’t it?

I felt like the real deal holding it

**Marlene**

I hate to think how much that cost

I see you’ve already taken it for a spin!

And you are the real deal

**Sirius**

I needed to get a picture to send to Hope and Lyall

of Re looking all professory

Also for the ‘gram

Tell them what is says Moons!

**Remus**

It says

Professor R. J. Lupin

Because my boyfriend is just

I don’t know

He’s just

well

Sirius

**💗**

**James**

I’m dying

Moony's using the heart emoji

I can’t cope with all this love

I wish I was at home

I need to be with you 

Fuck it

This essay can get in the sea

I’m coming home lads!

Save a space for me!

\------------------------------

**My Ride or Die**

**Jam**

I really am on my way home btw

**Siriusly**

Yay!

Let’s get Pete here too

and celebrate

**Jam**

Already text him

He’s meeting me at Waitrose

I’m gonna grab a couple of bottles of champagne

**Siriusly**

Sweet

We’re nearly finished with the one i’d got in

**Jam**

Before I get home though

You ok?

How are you feeling about everything?

**Siriusly**

I’m ok

The crying really was because I was happy

I mean the thoughts are still there

but we’ve talked about it

I want to celebrate today with him

and not let them take over

**Jam**

That’s a good idea

Let me take you out for lunch tomorrow

And we can talk if you need to

and if not

well then I can tell you about this thing I tried last night with Lily

which literally blew my mind

**Siriusly**

Umm

You can tell me about that anyway please

And thanks James

That’ll be good I think

**Jam**

Perfect

See you in 10!

\------------------------------

**Wolfbucks**

**Jamie**

I really am on my home home btw

**Remus**

You better be!

**Jamie**

I’m so chuffed for you Moony

And not just because I get to keep you around for longer

but because you so deserve this

you work so hard

and are so passionate

you’re going to make an amazing professor one day

**Remus**

Ahhh stop

I’m already perilously close to tears as it is

**Jamie**

No shame in a bit of a cry Rem!

**Remus**

I know

But you know

Emotions

Gross

**Jamie**

Haha

Classic Rem

Before I get home though

You and Padfoot ok?

How are you feeling about all of that?

**Remus**

Yeh I think we’re good

We have actually just had a little chat about it

I mean I can tell it’s still at the back of his mind

And I wish it wasn’t

But I’ve got

What

Six months to reassure him

that I’m not going anywhere

I just want to enjoy today though

**Jamie**

Good idea

Let me take you out for dinner tomorrow though

And then if you want to talk through anything

We can

and if not

well then I can tell you about this thing I tried last night with Lily

which literally blew my mind

**Remus**

That’s sounds really nice

And is this thing

Something I can potentially try with Sirius?

**Jamie**

With a bit of manoeuvring

I don’t see why not

**Remus**

Nice

You stud

Thanks Jamie

You’re the best

**Jamie**

That is what they call me

And you’re welcome

See you 5!

\------------------------------

**Private Message**

**Kingsley**

Mate

You coming back up

We still need to go through that third section

**Sirius**

Sorry Kings

Can’t

Maybe tomorrow eve?

**Kingsley**

You sure you can’t do today?

Kind of wanted to get it finished

**Sirius**

I’m sure

I’m spending the rest of the day with Re

and then we’re going out for dinner

**Kingsley**

Ah that’s a shame

Wait that came out wrong

Well not a shame you’re spending time with you man

but a shame we can’t get it finished

**Sirius**

Yeh

Maybe see if Hes is around?

**Kingsley**

Yeh I might do!

Good shout!

**Sirius**

Cool

I’m going off grid for the rest of the day

See you tomorrow

**Kingsley**

Have a good one!


	23. Chapter 23

**F.R.I.E.N.D.S**

**Sirius**

Our zoo tickets have arrived!

**Marlene**

Sirius

No

Too early

**Sirius**

BOOOO

I remember when you used to be fun

**Marlene**

And I shall be fun once again

when I don’t have a raging hang over

How are YOU not hungover

**Pete**

I don’t know!

Sucks to be you!

we carried on when we got home too

we’ve only just stopped

**James**

OMG girls

We made after eight martini’s

They were mfing ace!

Well

they were until we ran out of crème de menthe

we tried using mouthwash instead

but it wasn’t as good

**Dorcas**

I am 100% sure

you’re not supposed to drink mouthwash

**James**

Oh you’re def not

it’s the methyl alcohol

Did you know that if you drink too much of it

It can cause blindness, organ failure and even death!

**Lily**

Yes I did know that!

What the fuck boys?

James!

You’re supposed to be a Dr!

**Remus**

Oh we didn’t drink the mouthwash ones

we just swilled them around

and the spat it out into a mixing bowl

we tried playing pass the cocktail

with our mouths

but it didn’t work

**Sirius**

It kept dribbling out

☹

**Dorcas**

I think I may actually vomit

That is unsanitary

**Sirius**

No the opposite

we were minty fresh!

**James**

Which was handy!

Did you know

That blupin can snog for almost 15 minutes

without breaking apart

We timed them!

**Pete**

Reckon it would have been longer

If Moony hadn’t got cramp

**Remus**

You sorted me right out Pete

with your nimble fingers

groin feels excellent

I’m all limbered up

and raring to go

**Marlene**

Good Christ

What kind of bacchanalian affair was this?

**Sirius**

Yeeessssss Moonymine

Is reflection time over?

I want you

**Remus**

No we’ve still got 8 minutes

You can do it babe

I believe in you

God you’re so fit

**Lily**

What is happening??

**Alice**

What the hell is reflection time??

**James**

Remus invented it!

We have to sit in our rooms

and spend half an hour reflecting

in a way that we deem appropriate for our personal selves

I did 100 press ups

And now I’m having a milk!

**Pete**

Yeh

I’ve thought of loads of good reflection shit

**Dorcas**

Like what?

**Sirius**

You know

Like about life and stuff

I sent Remus a dick pic!

So he could reflect on it

**Remus**

He did!

I’m reflecting HARD

**James**

HAHAHA

Hard

**Sirius**

**😀**

My reflection was interrupted a bit by the zoo tickets though

I got a text from DPD saying they would be coming

between 8-9 this morning

and they came at 8:20!

How weird is that??

**Lily**

Umm

Not weird at all

That’s literally when they said they would come

**Sirius**

Oh

**Remus**

REFLECTION TIME OVER

**James**

It’s hug time!!

**Sirius**

Yaaaas!

**Pete**

Ooohhh

Can we watch trolls?

**James**

Me and you can watch it Petey

The blupins will be busy remember?

**Pete**

Oh yeh!

Sorry Blupins!

**Remus**

No worries ‘Tails

We call Pete ‘Tails now btw

**Sirius**

Hurrryy uupp

Lets get hugging

I wanna be naked with my Remusaur

**Pete**

OMG Prongs!

We should time them doing this too!

**Alice**

What the fuck has happened to ‘Tails?

What have you done to him??

**James**

Yes ‘Tails!

**Marlene**

NO TAILS

**Dorcas**

NO TAILS

**James**

Rly?

Flower?

**Lily**

No ‘Tails

**James**

The girls say no

We’ll watch Trolls instead

We can have crunchy nut cornflakes!

**Pete**

Yay!

\------------------------------

**My Support Bras**

**Lils**

So

The boys are obviously still completing smashed

**Dorky**

I’m still reeling from the image

of Pete giving Remus’s groin a massage tbh

**Marls**

They really are loving life rn

I can’t wait to text them repeatedly

Later on

When they’re hungover as fuck

**Als**

**😅**

You’re a right bitch sometimes Marls

**Marls**

That’s me!

Does anyone else feel proper rough though?

**Lils**

**🙋‍♀️**

**Als**

God yes

Not sure if I’m hungover, dead or just hunger

**Dorky**

Mood

**Marls**

Ahh well

There’s few people I’d risk feeling this shitty for

but Remus Lupin is one of them

**Lils**

Same

Love him

**Alice**

I don’t even want to think about

how him and S are going to manage

if they have to do long distance

they literally can’t keep themselves off each other

**Marls**

Oh god I know

and not just like is a sex way

last night I’m not sure there was a moment

when they weren’t holding hands

or something

even at the bar Sirius had his hand in Rem’s back pocket

**Dorky**

Well I think its sweet

**Alice**

No same

I just worry tis all

**Lils**

I’m surprised Sirius is still talking to you

after you bit his head off about the whole dinner thing

**Marls**

Oh yeh!

**Als**

Nah

You know what he’s like

One and done

We chatted about it Mon

He doesn’t hold a grudge

**Lils**

Fair enough

Ergh i need to get up

I’m gonna go crouch in the shower

and think about my life choices

**Als**

I’ll make us tea

Does anyone have any paracetamol?

**Dorky**

Yeh I do

**Alice**

You angel

**Lils**

Marls where are you??

**Marls**

home

obvs

I don’t understand the question?

**Lils**

I mean because I’m just walked past your room

and you’re not there

**Marls**

Oh

I’m D’s room

**Lils**

Ahh

That makes sense

I didn't hear you go in

Although I can’t believe I wasn’t invited to the snuggles!

**Als**

I’m going to do it

I’m getting out of bed

Need paracetamol

**Dorky**

2 secs

I’ve got nothing on

And you’re always invited to snuggles Lils

**Lils**

Naked snuggles it would seem!

Lol

**Marls**

She’s under the covers

No such luck for me

**😂**

**Dorky**

**😂**

**Alice**

Your 2 seconds is up!

I’m coming for best pal cuddles in 3-2-1


	24. Chapter 24

**Basic Bitches**

**Marlene Elisabeth**

Did you make it in time??

**Dorcas Ignatia**

JUST

Honestly had to run the last bit

and thought I was going to be sick

**Marlene Elisabeth**

Grim

Although you did better than Alice

who got half way to her 10am

and was actually sick

and had to call Frank to come get her

**Dorcas Ignatia**

Oh bless her

She looked proper rough this morning

**Marlene Elisabeth**

I think we should count ourselves lucky

that she was too preoccupied feeling shite

to wonder why we were both semi naked in your bed!

**Dorcas Ignatia**

Shit yeh

I know

She just got right on in there

and made herself the filing of a Marls and Dork sandwich didn’t she

**Marlene Elisabeth**

**😂**

Yep

Seriously though

It was a close call

And I felt shitty lying to them both

AGAIN

**Dorcas Ignatia**

Knew this was coming

**Marlene Elisabeth**

What were you expecting D?

**Dorcas Ignatia**

It’s not like we were up banging all night!

We cuddled a bit

and then went to sleep

Its not really any different to when Lils comes in with me

**Marlene Elisabeth**

I should bloody hope its different!

**Dorcas Ignatia**

Ergghh

You know what I mean

I mean we weren’t really lying

**Marlene Elisaebeth**

Disagree

It’s getting to the point now

where I don’t actually want to tell them

because they’re going to be really hurt that we kept

whatever this is/is going to be a secret

**Dorcas Ignatia**

I know I know

It’s not like I haven’t realised that too

**Marlene Elisabeth**

Sooo…

We any closer to being able to tell them something?

Anything?

**Doracs Ignatia**

Look

We agreed we’d give it a fortnight

So I could sort some shit out in my head

That’s Saturday

So can we please just carry on with what we agreed

and talk about everything then

when the others are out?

**Marlene Elisabeth**

Yeh ok

I’m sorry if you think I’m pressuring you

But

I really like you

and basically

I want to know if I’m wasting my time

**Dorcas Ignatia**

Oh Marly

☹

You’re not

I can promise you that now

It’s just scary

but I’m almost there

**Marlene Elisabeth**

Ok

Well I can work with that

See you in a bit

**Dorcas Ignatia**

Laters babe

**Marlene Elisabeth**

**😊**

\------------------------------

**Private Message**

**Kingsley**

Hey you

Hope you had a good night with your man last night

You up for a drink laters?

Hes and I were thinking the 3B’s?

**Sirius**

To be honest mate

Probably not

Currently experiencing the worlds grottiest hangover

**Kingsley**

Ah mate

Heavy one then?

**Sirius**

Heavy doesn’t even begin to describe it

I can’t currently feel my face

**Kingsley**

Well you know what they say

Hair of the dog and all that!

Come on

You know you want to…

**Sirius**

Ehhhhhh

Alright

Although I’m not touching anything

that’s not 100% ethanol free

**Kingsley**

Fire away

I’ll even buy you a coke

Lol

**Sirius**

You’re on

I’m gonna bring Rem

If that’s cool with you and the girls

**Kingsley**

For sure!

Will be nice to see him

8ish?

**Sirius**

Sounds good

In a bit then

**Kingsley**

Laters sweetcheeks

\------------------------------

**PB to my J**

**Moons**

Where are you?

**Pads**

In the bath

**Moons**

☹

I don’t like waking up without you

**Pads**

Sorry Moo

You were totally zonked

**Moons**

I feel so unwell

I woke up because I’ve dribbled all over my pillow

and it was doing that horrible sliding down your face thing

so your face is cold

and then pillow is wet

and just

Oh God

I think I’ve sprained my liver

**Pads**

Oh my Moony

Not gonna lie

I noticed the dribble

Still think you looked hot though

**Moons**

That makes me feel a bit better

I also feel like a I can smell the alcohol

sweating out of my pores

**Pads**

That’s why I’m in the bath

I couldn’t work out who stunk

figured it was probs both

**Moons**

Fair

Do you have a bathbomb?

**Pads**

Nope

I opened one

but the smell made me wretch

so it’s just a plain, lukewarm bath for me

feel a bit like I’m just soaking in my own filth now though

**Moons**

Baby

That sounds terrible

**Pads**

Yeh

It really is

Might have a shower

and try and get actually clean

Come with?

**Moons**

Yeh ok

Can we sit on the floor?

**Pads**

Course

If we brush our teeth

want to see if we can beat our record from last night…?

**Moons**

Mmm

Yes please

A very long snog

in a very hot shower

is just what the Dr ordered

**Pads**

Hurry yourself up then

Dr. Black awaits

\------------------------------

**F.R.I.E.N.D.S**

**Marlene**

SIRIUS

How are the zoo tickets??

**Sirius**

Fuck off McKinnon

I’m slowly dying here

**Alice**

Well!

That’s not very nice

**Remus**

Says the girl who threw up

outside Costa

and had to be taken home

**Alice**

Boooooo

How do you even know that?

**James**

Word travels fast Fortescue

Apparently it wasn’t a pretty sight

**Alice**

I’m going to kill Frank

Bloody snitch

**Dorcas**

**😂**

Poor Al

**Lily**

How you feeling lads?

This mornings convo

was

an experience

**James**

Well

I don’t remember much about last night

or this morning

but the fact that I needed my sunglasses on

to open the fridge this afternoon

tells me we did something right!

**Marlene**

Oh God I can full on imagine

you doing that too

**James**

Don’t imagine it Marls

It was reality approx. 10 mins ago

**Lily**

In all seriousness though

are you all ok?

And also

I’m very excited for zoo times

**Sirius**

*siriusness

**James**

*siriusness

**Remus**

*siriusness

We’re ok

Although Sirius is in the dog house

for volunteering us

to go to the pub tonight

**Dorcas**

Oh Sirius

Rookie move

**Alice**

Nope pub

but

Yay zoo

I’m mega pumped

Gonna see myself some tigers

**Lily**

Ooo

I like a tiger

**Marlene**

Same tbh

**Remus**

Meh

I can give or take a tiger

**Sirius**

Snap

I mean who needs to see a tiger in the zoo

When you’ve got your own tiger in the bedroom

**Alice**

How are you both

So cute

Yet so horny

all the time?

**Marlene**

Also that figures

re: Lupin

**James**

Yes Marlene

I can confirm

The tiger prowess of one Remus J. Lupin

**Remus**

If I’m a tiger

My Sirius is a cute little possum

who I just want around all the time

put him in my pocket

Take him around with me

**Dorcas**

Oh god

Can you stop being unbearably in love

for just like a second

**Sirius**

No can do

Sorry

I’d gladly live in your trousers Re…

Put me in there anytime

**Lily**

MOVING on

Where’s ‘Tails?

He alright?

**James**

WTH is ‘Tails?

**Alice**

HAHAHA

**Marlene**

_*insert screenshot*_

**_Remus_ **

_No worries ‘Tails_

_We call Pete ‘Tails now btw_

**James**

Huh

‘Tails

I like it

**Lily**

Yes but is he ok?

**James**

Course he is

As if I’d let my Petey suffer alone

He’s snoozing on my lap

Aren’t you ‘Tails?

**Pete**

Oh God

I have a second heartbeat in my head

Is this what death feels like?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit to Sirius being a little possum goes to @pretentiousfan who came up with the idea and I couldn't get it out of my head!


	25. Chapter 25

**Not Fast, Just Furious**

**Marly**

Rem

Can I be a massive pain

and borrow your copy of

Critique of Pure Reason please?

Can’t find mine anywhere

**Remy**

Yeh course

No probs

**Marly**

Lifesaver

You in now?

**Remy**

No

At the 3B’s

It is not enjoyable

**Marly**

Oh god yeh

I forgot you had to go the pub this eve

**😂**

Hows that working with the hangover?

**Remy**

No its not that

Its just

Nevermind

**Marly**

Remus?

**Remy**

I don’t want to start anything again

because last time I came across as a jealous twat

but

oh I dunno

**Marly**

But you’re a jealous twat?

**Remy**

Essentially

Yeh

**Marly**

Is there a reason you should be jealous?

**Remy**

I don’t think so?

I think I’m just tired

And I’m feeling a bit left out

Because I can’t contribute to this conversation

**Marly**

Tbf Remus

You’re texting me

So I doubt you look very interested

**Remy**

They’re speaking French Marlene

I literally cannot contribute

Because I don’t know what they’re saying

**Marly**

Oh

Can’t you ask them

To you know

Not speak French

**Remy**

I have tried

Several times

In like a joke ‘guys remember I’m here’ sort of way

and they stop for 5 minutes

but then it starts again

**Marly**

Why though?

When Als and Sirius are together

they don’t randomly start speaking French

**Remy**

I don’t know

For fun?

**Marly**

Weird

Can’t you just start speaking Welsh REALLY loudly?

**Remy**

Lol

I’ve come outside now

I think I might call it a night

Feel guilty though because I know S will say he’ll leave too

but he’s clearly having a good time

Should I just leave

and then text him when I’m at home?

**Marly**

No!

What the fuck is wrong with you??

**Remy**

I’m so tired!

I need to go to bed

**Marly**

Sirius is a big boy

Tell him to stay

but if he wants to leave with you

that’s up to him isn’t it

**Remy**

Suppose

\------------------------------

**PB to my J**

**Pads**

Moonymoo you ok?

You’ve been gone ages

**Moons**

Yeh sorry babe

felt a bit funny

am outside

**Pads**

I’m coming

\------------------------------

**My Ride or Die**

**Siriusly**

Prongsie

Are you at Mrs P’s?

**Jam**

Nah

At home

**Siriusly**

Any chance you could come and meet Re at the 3B’s

He’s insisting that I stay

but he’s feel crap

Don’t want him walking home on his own

**Jam**

OMW!

\------------------------------

**PB to my J**

**Moons**

Home

Was a bit OTT to make James come and collect me

He insisted on holding my hand all the way home

Its bigger than yours

I didn’t like it

**Pads**

I feel like I should be upset

That James’ hand is bigger than mine

But I’m not sure why…

ANYWAY

How’re you feeling?

**Moons**

Still like death

I feel a bit migrainy

**Pads**

That’s because you haven’t had enough sleep

Make a hot drink

and get into bed

NO working on your laptop

It’ll make it worse

**Moons**

**🙄**

Yes mum

**Pads**

That’s a good Remusaur

I’m sorry about tonight

I shouldn’t have made you come with me

**Moons**

No its fine

I wanted to come

Whats the saying?

The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak

**Pads**

I love you

Even when you feel shit

You keep your uniquely Remusness-ness

**Moons**

Sirius

Why has Pete just come in

with the world’s most OTT hot chocolate

turned the big light off

turned on a couple of the fairy lights

closed my curtains

and then tucked me in

very tightly

kissed me on the forehead

and then left without saying anything

AND TAKEN MY LAPTOP WITH HIM?

**Pads**

No idea…

I better go

I’m being mega anti-social

I won’t be too much longer

If you’re asleep I’ll sleep in my room

**Moons**

Umm absolutely not

**Pads**

I want you to get a good nights sleep though

I don’t want to wake you

**Moons**

If you don’t promise to come sleep in here

I will deliberately keep myself awake

Until you come home

**Pads**

Good god

and they say I’m dramatic

ok ok

I’ll sleep in our room

**Moons**

I love you

\------------------------------

**Worming Tablets**

**Wormtail**

Operation ‘Fuck off migraine’

Is a go

Do you think I need to confiscate that book he keeps reading?

**Padfoot**

You’re an angel in disguise

Yeh maybe

**Wormtail**

No need

I’ve just gone in

He’s out cold

Bless him

**Padfoot**

Ahh good

Hopefully he’ll feel better when he wakes up

**Wormtail**

You back anytime soon?

Prongs is ordering pizza

**Padfoot**

Umm

No I’m good

If Re’s asleep I think I’ll stay for a bit

The others were talking about ordering food

So might join

**Wormail**

Nice

See you later then

**Padfoot**

X

\------------------------------

Toujours **🤮**

**Blacker Sheep**

We’ve just told Dora you’re taking her to the zoo

This is your forewarning that she is VERY excited

**Black Sheep**

Ahhh!

I’m so excited

She’s got a whole entourage coming along

Although maybe I should have asked first

Is she ok with other people?

**Blacker Sheep**

Oh she’ll be in her element

Any excuse to show off

Just don’t be taken in by her adorableness, its all a façade

**Black Sheep**

Oh I don’t believe that for a second

Although

Look at her mother…

**Blacker Sheep**

Cheeky

So, we’re arriving pm at 4ish

We’ve got a taxi booked from the airport to take us to Leith

so I imagine we’ll be ready for dinner about 7 if that suits you

**Black Sheep**

Yes that sounds great

Will Dora be ok being up that late though?

**Blacker Sheep**

Oh my sweet innocent child

You’ll see on Saturday

**Black Sheep**

Oh

Ok

That sounds horribly ominous

**Blacker Sheep**

Yes and you can’t back out now

I’ve bought a VERY expensive new dress which I plan to wear

whilst I drink free champagne and eat tiny canapes

and then I’m expecting a night of hot hotel sex

which I’ve also bought a new something for

but I won’t tell you what

**Black Sheep**

Erggghhh

Gross

Married sex

**Blacker Sheep**

Believe me

At this point sex is An Event™

**Black Sheep**

Lol

Don’t worry your pretty little head Andi

Your night of debauchery is safe

As long as you don’t stand me up for dinner

I’m excited for you to meet my boyfriend

**Blacker Sheep**

Oh I didn’t know you’d split with Remus

That’s a shame, he was a smasher

**Black Sheep**

What?

No

Remus is my boyfriend

**Blacker Sheep**

But you just said you were looking forward to me meeting your boyfriend

as if I hadn’t met him before?

**Black Sheep**

You haven’t met him before though

As my boyfriend

The last time I saw you was when you came up and visited me in halls

**Blacker Sheep**

Sirius sweetie, when I last saw you I presumed Remus _was_ your boyfriend

I thought you were too scared to tell me and I didn’t want to embarrass you

but neither of you were subtle, I caught both of you making eyes at one another

on multiple occasions I might add

And I was only there an hour

**Black Sheep**

Oh

Well

He wasn’t my boyfriend

He actually was seeing this guy called Fabian

but they split up last summer

and then we had this fight

and I wrote him a letter telling him I was in love with him

and then he rang me and said that he actually felt the same

so yeh

now I’m his boyfriend

Shit I’m rambling

Sorry

**Blacker Sheep**

You’re good Sirius

I’m pleased it worked out

as I said Remus is a smasher

**Black Sheep**

Yeh

He is

**Blacker Sheep**

And hey, if you marry him then we can upgrade YOU to the Blacker Sheep

Your gay marriage to a Welshie will definitely trump mine

**Black Sheep**

Haha

We'll see


	26. Chapter 26

**Toujours 🤮**

**Blacker Sheep**

We’ve just called a taxi, we’ll be with you within the hour.

I loaded her up with sugary cereal just for you

**Black Sheep**

Haha

Very funny

Did she fall asleep on the way home last night as predicted?

**Blacker Sheep**

Yeh, within 5 minutes. She hasn’t stopped talking about you this morning though

**Black Sheep**

I can’t blame her

I’m pretty fabulous

**Blacker Sheep**

Sound more gay Sirius

**Black Sheep**

Not gay actually

**Blacker Sheep**

Shit, sorry. Shouldn’t have said that, that wasn’t nice.

**Black Sheep**

I’m teasing Andi

Well not about not being gay

But ya know

**Blacker Sheep**

I do not but I don’t suppose that matters.

We still love Remus by the way, you two are very sweet together

**Black Sheep**

Thanks Andi

I love him

So much

**Blacker Sheep**

I can tell, and he you. Not sure how keen he is to have Dora though!

**Black Sheep**

Nah

He’ll be fine

He’s just nervous

He thinks we’re going to lose/break her

**Blacker Sheep**

HAHAHAHA

Good luck losing her, she’s not quiet enough to lose

And as for breaking her, children bounce. You’ll be fine

\------------------------------

**PB to my J**

**Pads**

You nearly done in there

Andi & co will be in here 45ish

**Moons**

Yep

Just got out

Although I think I better shave

**Pads**

Why?

**Moons**

Umm

Not really sure?

It seemed like the thing to do

when you’re looking after a child for the weekend

Shaving is what proper people do

**Pads**

I see

You’re so funny

Level with me Re

Are you freaking out about this weekend?

**Moons**

No!

Maybe a bit

I’m not responsible enough for this

**Pads**

And is this why I wasn’t allowed to shower with you?

**Moons**

Humph

You’re making fun of me

**Pads**

No I’m not!

Andi and Ted love you btw

She said we are very cute together

**Moons**

Damn right we’re very cute together

We’re the cutest

**Pads**

You’re the cutest

Now stop texting and let me in

If you’re insisting on shaving

I’ll do that bit around you scar

which you always manage to mess up

\------------------------------

**Zootopia**

**_Sirius_ ** _added **Remus, James, Lily, Alice & Pete **to the group_

**Alice**

Oooo

A new special zoo chat!

Love it

**Sirius**

Yup

Figured we wouldn’t irritate M & D all day

when they’re trying to work

**Lily**

We’ve been trying to persuade them to come

all morning

but to no avail

**🤷‍♀️**

**James**

Ahh well

Fair enough though

There’s nothing worse than being out

when everyone else is having fun

and you’re thinking about work

**Lily**

Very true

Anyway

Are we ready?

**Sirius**

Yes!

We are in possession of a small and very excitable 5 yr old

Who has already declared Jam her fav

because he agreed to be a dragon

and has let her ride around on his back

basically since she’s been here

**Alice**

Shhhh!

Lily’s ovaries will hear you!

**Remus**

Haha!

**Lily**

Oh god

I should have guessed he’s amazing with children

I do not need this visual right now!

**Pete**

Course he’s good with kids

Prongs is like every child’s dream

He’s up for all and every game

**James**

OMG I LOVE kids

I want at least 5

**Lily**

At _least_ 5??

**Alice**

HAHAHAHA

YOU SHOULD SEE LILY’S FACE

**Sirius**

Don’t’ worry Lils

Re and I will help!

I’m gonna be the best Uncle

**James**

Ahh!

Uncle Padfoot!

I can see it now…

Mini leather jackets and all

**Sirius**

OMG yes!

**Remus**

Can we focus please

Lily, Alice come over

So we can actually get to the zoo before it closes

**Alice**

Ooop

We’ve been told Lils

I see Rem’s in Daddy mode

**Sirius**

**🥵**

He really is

Dora’s proclaimed him ‘boring & tall’

because he wouldn’t let her have another doughnut

**Remus**

I’m trying to be responsible!

**Sirius**

I know Remusaur

And its adorable

\------------------------------

**Jily**

**James**

Lily I’m DYING

Look how cute they are with her!

**Lily**

I know

They look like a perfect little family

When Remus put her on his shoulders

so she could see the penguins

I honestly thought Sirius was going to implode

he had literal heart eyes

**James**

I knooow

Padfoot really wants children

No idea about Moony though

**Lily**

Ah they will

I can def see it happening

Sirius with a baby strapped to him

and Remus with one on his shoulders

**James**

Oh God

That image is too much for my fragile heart to take

**Lily**

And as for you

Mr ‘I want at least 5’ Potter

**James**

I do!

I can’t wait to be a dad

I’ve got so many good dad jokes ready

**Lily**

**🤣**

I bet you do

**James**

What do you think then Lils?

Can we have a big old brood

that we have a ferry round in a minibus?

**Lily**

Yeh

Why not

**James**

Yay!

**Lily**

Not yet though!

**James**

Oh god def not yet

We’ve got to get that Nobel Prize first

**Lily**

Yeh

After the Nobel Prize

That’ll be nice

Love you Jamie

**James**

Love you too

\------------------------------

**Zootopia**

**Alice**

Where are you guys??

**Remus**

We’re hiding by the red panda

Where are you?

**Alice**

We’re in the insect house thing

We got drenched though

**Sirius**

Yeh same

Think we should call it a day

I don’t want to hand back a sick Dora to Andi

**Pete**

Good call

I’m fking freezing now

**Lily**

I know the plan was to head straight to dinner

but can we go home first?

I want to change

**Alice**

Sounds good to me!

Lads come and have a tea at ours to warm up first

**James**

That’s a plan, stan!

\------------------------------

**F.R.I.E.N.D.S**

**Marlene**

We’re SO sorry!

We didn’t think you’d be coming back before dinner!

I’m guessing you’ve all gone back to the boys

But can we please talk about this?

Shit!


	27. Chapter 27

**Not Fast, Just Furious**

**Remy**

Of all the ways

to let us know what was up with you two

that was 100% the worst one

**Marly**

Please don’t

I know

We’re SO sorry

Are A & L still with you?

They won’t answer their phones

**Remy**

No

Frank and J took them back to ours

Sirius, Pete and I are taking Dora to buy a magazine

We didn’t want her to catch on that anything was wrong

**Marly**

Shit you had Sirius’ cousin with you too

Fuck

Did she see anything?

**Remy**

No

You are VERY lucky that Sirius and her were last in line

**Marly**

OK

ok well that’s good

What about Alice and Lily?

**Remy**

I going to be honest Marlene

When we left them

Lily was crying

and Alice looked ready for a show down

she wanted to come back in

**Marly**

Oh God

We just didn’t think you were coming home before dinner

**Remy**

Yeh

When you speak to Alice and Lily

Probably don’t lead with that

because that’s not the issue is it

**Marly**

No

They’re going to hate us now aren’t they

**Remy**

No of course not

They’re both upset that you didn’t say anything

as are the rest of us I might add

but they won’t hate you

Is Dorcas ok?

**Marly**

She’s been very calm

which is surprising

she’s gone down the ‘well it’s happened’

we both just really want to speak to Al and Lils

Can you tell them?

**Remy**

Yes I will when we get home

but you have to be prepared

for them to be angry for a bit

**Marly**

I know

I’m sad Remus

**Remy**

I know

but it will be ok

alright?

**Marly**

Yeh

Ok

\------------------------------

**Zootopia**

**Sirius**

Does anyone want anything picking up?

**James**

Both girls say chocolate

**Alice**

Can I have a Dr Pepper too?

**Remus**

Ooo

I could do a Dr Pepper right now

No worries

Is everyone ok?

**Alice**

No

Not really

I still can’t really believe we walked in on that

They were proper going for it too

**Lily**

Oh God Alice don’t!

I honestly don’t know if I can look at either of them in the eye again

**Sirius**

I’m not sure

I can ever sit on that sofa again!

Without reliving the image of Marlene bouncing up and down

**Pete**

Did you really have no idea??

**Lily**

NO

**Alice**

NO

**Lily**

Literally not even a hint

Although I’m guessing all the ‘meeting up with x’

for the last month was complete bollocks

**Alice**

Oh Lils do you think?

That makes it worse

If they’ve been lying

**James**

I know it’s sucky

and I know you’re upset

but remember that they probably had a good reason to keep it secret

Did you even know that Dorcas was gay?

**Lily**

Nope

And we don’t even know if she _is_ gay

We know literally nothing

**Alice**

Rem

Did Marlene not say _anything_ to you?

**Remus**

I was really hoping you wouldn’t ask

**Lily**

Oh Remus!

**Remus**

I didn’t know!

But she said a couple of things

so I had an inkling

but it wasn’t my business to start spreading rumours

I didn’t even tell Pads

**Sirius**

It’s true

He didn’t say a word

Gorgeous boy

**James**

That’s fair enough mate

You did the right thing

**Remus**

Thanks Jamie

I hate that you’re both upset though

and I know you don’t want to

but you should probably talk to both of them

before you go home tonight

**Alice**

I know

They’re both left loads of messages on our GC

Maybe after I’ve drunk my Dr Pepper

Has she said anything

It must have been a bit confusing bless her

**Sirius**

She seems fine

I am SO RELIEVED

that you guys went in first

I’m not sure how I would’ve explained that one to Andi

Hi Andi

The zoo was great!

Also

I unintentionally exposed your 5 year

to two of our best friends bonking furiously

on the sofa

Sorry!

**Lily**

Oh Sirius

You do make me laugh

Thanks for that

**Sirius**

You’re welcome Mrs P

We’re on our way home

**James**

Yay

What magazine did she pick??

**Sirius**

Umm

I can’t remember the name

But she took aaaagggges to chose it

It comes with a large plastic Elsa statue and some paints

and she has bizzarely chosen Pete to help her paint it when we get back

**Pete**

I feel very honoured!

She’s not actually spoken to me at all

**James**

Aw man

A painting Elsa

I want a go!

**Sirius**

I’m sure you’ll be able to twist her arm

There’s also shit loads of stickers

a plastic ring

and a Elsa wand

Although I don’t remember Elsa having a wand

**Remus**

I think it’s just a generic wand

Not Elsa specific

**Sirius**

Ahh

I see

\------------------------------

**F.R.I.E.N.D.S**

**Dorcas**

Hey

I know you’re all probably a bit freaked out and everything

but it’s been almost an hour

We’d really like to talk to you please

**James**

Hi Dorks

Yeh no worries

**Sirius**

You both ok?

**Dorcas**

Yes we’re fine

Marls is upset

Very aware that we’ve fucked up

**Remus**

Ack

Haven’t we all

We can catch up with you later on

But I think you’re better off talking to A & L first

**Dorcas**

Yeh ok

Thanks lads

If it’s ok with Als and Lils

are we still invited for dinner?

**James**

Course!

We’ll see you then

\-------------------------------

**My Support Bras**

**Dorky**

Hey

**Als**

Hey

**Lils**

Hi

**Dorcas**

You want to do this over text

or would you rather wait until you got home

**Als**

Can we start like this?

I think it might be easier

**Dorky**

Sure

**Lils**

Marly?

**Marly**

Hi

Are you ok?

**Lils**

Yeh I guess

**Marly**

Are we ok?

As in the four of us?

**Als**

To be honest Marls

I’m not sure

I mean what the fuck?

**Marly**

Oh God I know!

We’re so so sorry

That was just the worst way of you finding out

**Lils**

What exactly are we finding out though?

Like

What is actually happening here?

Because looking back over the past month

I’m guessing this wasn’t a random one time thing?

**Dorks**

No it wasn’t

And I just want to say

That it’s my fault that you found out like this

Marlene has wanted to say something for ages

**Als**

Jesus Christ

Ages??

**Dorks**

Since New Years

**Marls**

Fuck

I know it seems really bad

But

**Lils**

But what?

**Marls**

I don’t know

☹

**Als**

So

Is this like

Just sex

Or…

**Dorks**

It’s not just sex

I said New Years

But that really was just the start

and today

well that was the first time for that

**Als**

Right

So since New Years you’ve been doing what?

**Marls**

Trying to figure out what we’re doing

Or what we wanted

**Dorks**

Tbf Marlene knew what she wanted to do

It was me who didn’t

I wasn’t sure where it was going

**Als**

Well

You looked like you knew where it was going earlier

**Lils**

Alice!

**Als**

I’m sorry!

But

It’s just

I’m really upset that you didn’t feel like you could tell us!

**Dorks**

I know

We shouldn’t have left it so long

That was really shitty

But I just wasn’t ready

**Als**

Ok

Are you ready now though?

I don’t want to pressure you

but I just want to know what’s going on here

**Dorks**

I’m ready

We’re going to give it a go

**Lils**

So like girlfriends?

**Marls**

Yeh

I guess so

Is that ok?

**Als**

I mean

Why would it not be ok?

**Marls**

I don’t know

It’s your house too I suppose

**Lils**

So?

**Marls**

Again

I don’t know

I sound like a broken record

**Als**

OMG

The morning after we went out for Rem

and I came into D’s room

and got into bed with you both

You’d been there all night hadn’t you

**Marls**

Yeh

**Dorks**

We hadn’t been doing anything though!

**Als**

D

You do realise you don’t have to say that don’t you

I don’t care if you were

**Dorks**

I know

but I said today was the first time

for the sex thing

and I wasn’t lying

**Marls**

We’ll sleep in our own rooms too

If you’d prefer that

**Lils**

Oh fuck off

Don’t be so ridiculous

**Als**

That’s like us saying

We’ll make James and Frank sleep on the sofa

I’m not going to pretend I’m not upset

but it’s not because you’re together

but because I’m sad to think you didn’t think you could tell me

**Lils**

Same

If you’re happy together

well then I’m thrilled for you

ok?

**Dorks**

Ok

**Als**

Marls?

**Dorks**

She’s upset

**Lils**

Shall we come home?

We can talk about it a bit more before dinner

**Dorks**

We can still come for dinner?

**Als**

Oh lovely

I hate that you’re questioning that

It makes me feel crap

**Dorks**

Sorry

☹

**Als**

We’ll come home

Be there in 20

And Marly?

**Marls**

Yeh?

**Als**

We’re ok

Ok?

The four of us

**Marls**

Ok

We love you

**Lils**

And we love YOU

You make a gorgeous couple

Although I think it goes without saying

**Dorks**

No more sex on the sofa?

**Lils**

No more sex on the sofa

**Als**

Unless we’re out

In which case

It’s free game

**😉**


	28. Chapter 28

**Toujours 🤮**

**Black Sheep**

Hey!

Hope you’re having a good evening

Quick question

Hypothetically

What happens if a 5 years drinks prosecco?

**Blacker Sheep**

Hypothetically you say?

**Black Sheep**

Yeh!

Nothing to worry about here

**Blacker Sheep**

Well I would imagine

it would depend on how much hypothetical prosecco

the hypothetical 5 year old had drunk

**Black Sheep**

Hypothetically

Say about a quarter of a glass was left on a table

and the hypothetical 5 year old

took a fancy to it

and downed the booze before you could stop her

**Blacker Sheep**

Oh my God thats hilarious

Are you having a fun time?

I’m sure she’ll be fine

**Black Sheep**

Yeh?

**Blacker Sheep**

Yes Sirius

It’s like two mouthfuls

and I can guarantee she spat most of it out

**Black Sheep**

Oh she did

it went everywhere

She literally opened her mouth and let it pour out

She said she didn’t like the bubbles

Shit

I mean

Hypothetically?

**Blacker Sheep**

You’re an idiot

**Black Sheep**

I’m sorry

We were doing so well too

**Blacker Sheep**

Well she looked like she was having the best time

when we facetimed earlier

I very much enjoyed Remus’ stick on earrings and nose stud

**Black Sheep**

Haha

She made him wear them to dinner too…

Also

V quick and then I promise to let you go

She wants to watch High School Musical 3 before bed

It’s a U

But I think there’s kissing and stuff in it

Is that ok?

**Blacker Sheep**

Are you insane?

Absolutely not

There’s way too much plot development happened previously

She’ll be completely lost

She has to start from number one or it just won’t make any sense

**Black Sheep**

Ok

So what I’m hearing is

We can keep her up and have a High School Movie Marathon?

**Blacker Sheep**

That’s more like it

**Black Sheep**

Sweet

\------------------------------

**A Good Pear**

**Sirius**

So

Things seemed ok with you all at dinner?

**Alice**

Yeh

It’s fine

We talked a bit when we got home

I mean

I’m still pissed about the whole thing

but I can understand their reasoning

**Sirius**

Fair enough

You still couldn’t tell anything was going on between them at dinner

In my head they were going to turn up all over each other

**Alice**

Nah

Not everyone is like you and Remus…

**Sirius**

We have been on out BEST behaviour

Thank you very much

**Alice**

Riiiight

So when you got back from the shops

and set Dora and Pete up with the painting

you didn’t both conveniently disappear for 20 minutes

or anything

**Sirius**

Oh shut up

We have to sleep in separate beds tonight

And it’s Saturday

On Saturdays we choose something from the jar to try

**Alice**

Oooo

What’s in the jar?

This jar sounds dirty

**Sirius**

I’ve said too much

Got to go!

\------------------------------

**Private Message**

**Alice**

Hi Big Dill

**Remus**

Oh hey Little Pickle

You ok?

**Alice**

Yeh I’m better now thanks

Glad we talked it out

**Remus**

Me too

I know it was shitty

but things aren’t always that easy

**Alice**

I know

I don’t blame them

the delivery of the news could just have been handled better

**Remus**

Yes it could

Jesus wept

That’s not something I wish to relive

**Alice**

Me neither

Although…

**Remus**

Nope

It’s a no thank you re: naked women for me

**Alice**

Oh Big Dill

You’re so gay

**Remus**

That I am Little Pickle

That I am

**Alice**

And speaking about gay

and your boyfriend

I would very much like to know

What’s in the Saturday Night Jar?

**Remus**

What jar?

I do not know this jar you speak of?

**Alice**

Ahh so it IS a dirty jar

You naughty, naughty boys

**Remus**

Only if it’s in the jar

**😉**

\------------------------------

**PB to my J**

**Moons**

I can’t believe you told Alice

about the jar!

**Pads**

I didn’t!

Well

I did

but I didn’t tell her what was in the jar!

**Moons**

I don’t think its particular hard to guess

According to Marlene

who also texted to ask what was in the jar

and if we were moving tonight’s jar dip to tomorrow

we have form for this sort of thing

**Pads**

Not gonna lie Rem

I feel oddly proud about that

**Moons**

Yeh

Me too

We’re well good at sex now

**Pads**

Hell yeah we are

We’d beat anyone at sex

**Moons**

We really would

Anyway

Moving swiftly on

How’re you two doing in there?

**Pads**

We’re good

she’s asleep

She needed a cuddle thought

So I had to get in with her

and now I’m too scared to move

incase I wake her

**Moons**

Oh bless

Well I don’t suppose it matter if you sleep in with her

and the air bed isn’t the most comfy

Minty’s in with me

So you don’t have to worry about her jumping up

Or anything

**Pads**

It makes that annoying rustly noise doesn’t it

and in the morning it has always deflated

even though I can NEVER find a hole

I think I will just sleep with her

then if she wakes in the night

and gets scared about where she is

I’ll be right there

**Moons**

Oh Sirius

You are just the loveliest thing

I love you

**Pads**

I love you too

More than all the kitchens in the sky

\------------------------------

**Private Message**

**Kingsley**

How’s the weekend with the sprog going?

Your man still freaking out about it?

How was the zoo??

Am still well jel

**Sirius**

Haha

We’re having a great time

The zoo was so good!

You should def go!

**Kingsley**

Might save it for a future date

Lol

**Sirius**

Ahhh that would be a really good date

Could get all cuddly by the Koalas

**Kingsley**

They have koalas?

Ah man!

I love a koala

**Sirius**

I’ll get you a stuffed one for you bday

**Kingsley**

Well that’s something to look forward too

Anyway better not keep you

Just checking we’re all ok for Tues?

**Sirius**

Yep no worries

Can meet you on campus

Penny is in my 10am too

**Kingsley**

Perfect

Well I shall look forward to getting my translation on then

**Sirius**

As shall I

**Kingsley**

**🐨**

\------------------------------

**Toujours 🤮**

**Blacker Sheep**

We’re just going to have lunch

and we’ll be over afterwards

About 3ish

**Black Sheep**

No worries

Take your time

Re & I are gonna take her to McDonalds for lunch

and then to Princes Street Gardens

they have a really cool play castle thing

**Blacker Sheep**

You’re spoiling her

**Black Sheep**

Nah

We’re having fun

Although this is your forewarning

We may or may not

have bought her an enormous cuddly otter

At the zoo yesterday

**Blacker Sheep**

Oh for fucks sake

How big is it?

**Black Sheep**

I’ve not going to sugar coat it

It’s really bloody big

**Blacker Sheep**

Excellent

Just what we needed to take on the plane with us

**Black Sheep**

Oh yeh

It definitely won’t fit in her case

The otter is 100% sitting with you

**Blacker Sheep**

You’re a menace

**Black Sheep**

Oh I know

And don’t worry

I’ve already told her she can have a large strawberry milkshake

You know

to load her up with sugar for you

That’s what you do right?

**Blacker Sheep**

Ergh

I suppose I should have seen that one coming

she’s not going to want to leave

**Black Sheep**

If there aren’t tears

I’m going to be highly offended

we’ve had a super fun time

**Blacker Sheep**

You are welcome to borrow her any time

You never know

in a few years

you and Remus might need the practise

**Black Sheep**

Here’s hoping


	29. Chapter 29

‘I’m not going to lie Moonymoo, it was really fun having her but I’m fucking exhausted now,’ Sirius said, walking back into Remus’ room and collapsing face down on the bed, ‘I don’t know how you’re supposed to have an actual job and look after actual children full time,’ he continued, voice muffled, ‘What time is it?’

‘Poor Pads,’ Remus said soothingly, brushing the strands of hair that had fallen out of the messy bun atop his head and tucking them behind his ears, ‘Although it was you who said to Andi that we’d keep her here when their flight was delayed so they could grab dinner without a grumpy, tired 5 year old in tow. And it’s nearly eleven.’

‘I know,’ Sirius huffed, making a big show off rolling over so he was lying on his back and kicking at Remus’ legs playfully, which were stretched out in front of him, his back propped up against the headboard, ‘I didn’t realise she’d get all manic, apparently that’s what kids do when they’re tired. I thought they just fell asleep!’

‘Oh my god, when she pulled James’ trousers down I honestly thought I was going to die,’ Remus snorted laughing, which set Sirius off too.

‘He looked totally bewildered and just sort of,’ Sirius leapt up and began doing a strange sort of waddle in a circle.

‘Fuck stop!’ Remus wheezed, clutching his stomach, ‘I’m going to wet myself.’

Sirius grinned and flopped back onto his back, reaching for Remus’ hand, ‘Prongs is so stupid.’ He gave the hand he was holding a pull and Remus leaned forward so Sirius could press a series of kisses over his knuckles, ‘It was a fun weekend wasn’t it?’

‘Yeh, it was,’ Remus granted, ‘Not nearly as anxiety inducing as anticipated,’ he paused and then added, ‘Except the prosecco incident.’

‘Except the prosecco incident,’ Sirius agreed, ‘And the not being able to cuddle last night.’

‘Too right,’ Remus said, shuffling down so his head was level with Sirius’ and slipping an arm over his waist, guiding him onto his side and tugging him close, pressing his chest against Sirius’ back and dropping a kiss onto the corner of his mouth.

Sirius sighed happily, ‘It was fun though. I can’t wait until we have our own minis and can do loads of cool dad stuff. You’d make a well hot dad.’

Remus gave a low chuckle, now nosing at the slightly stubbled skin at Sirius’ jaw, ‘Not as hot as you, no-one’s as hot as you. You’d be the hottest dad of all the dads, wedding ring and all.’ 

He felt Sirius stiffen and he turned to face Remus so they were lying nose to nose, ‘You want to get married?’

Remus pulled back a bit and looked at Sirius before saying carefully, ‘Yeh course, don’t you?’

Sirius paused, ‘Oh, well, I sort of feel that its all a bit unnecessary. I mean we love each other; we don’t want to be with anyone else, isn’t that enough?’

‘Yeh, I suppose,’ Remus replied slowly, ‘It’s just when I think about us in like 5 years times I always imagined that I’d be calling you my husband, not just my boyfriend.’ He gave a shrug.

‘I’ll be honest Rem, I’m really not keen on the idea,’ Sirius said grabbing Remus’ arm as he went to withdraw it from where it was slung over Sirius’ waist and pushing it back down, ‘It’s nothing to do with you or society or anything pretentious like that. It’s just my parent’s marriage was, is, awful, they hate each other so yeh, I just never saw myself going down that path. I’m sorry.’

‘Yeh,’ Remus said quietly not making eye contact and feeling oddly close to tears, ‘That’s fair enough. As you said, we love each other and that’s all that matters.’

‘And I do love you,’ Sirius said giving Remus a nudge with his shoulder, ‘Madly.’

Remus forced a smile onto his face and looked at Sirius, ‘I love you too.’

‘Good,’ Sirius said, ‘I’m glad that’s settled,’ and he leaned in for a kiss which Remus met him half way for.

They kissed slowly for a couple of minutes before Sirius rolled them so he was lying on top and began to nip biting kisses along Remus’ jaw, Remus rubbing small circles onto the small of Sirius’ back and then over his arse which he gave a quick but firm squeeze.

Sirius moaned and shoved a hand in between them, fumbling with the fly of Remus’ trousers before shifting his hips to get better access. He’d just popped the button and his fingers had found the zip when Remus suddenly jolted up onto his elbows, ‘You really never want to get married?’

‘Ugh,’ Sirius groaned, rolling off Remus and flopping onto his back so they were lying side by side. He tipped his head back slightly, looking up at the ceiling, ‘You really want to talk about this now?’

‘No. No sorry. Come here, sorry.’ Remus reached for Sirius, coaxing him back onto his side and bringing their mouths back together for another kiss. Sirius melted into the kiss instantly, bringing a hand up to run it through Remus’ hair and had just began to gently rock his hips forward when Remus spoke into this mouth, ‘But the thing is, I think I do want to married,’ he pushed lightly at Sirius’ chest, ‘To you,’ he clarified. 

Sirius sighed, ‘Remus.’

‘Hmm,’ Remus hummed, looking intently at a spot just over Sirius’ left shoulder.

‘Look,’ Sirius said, voice soft but firm, ‘I didn’t say _never_. I just said that it wasn’t something I saw in my future.’

Remus gaze snapped back to him, ‘So you don’t see me in your future?’

‘No!’ Sirius said, the softness that had previously been there replaced with something Remus couldn’t put his finger on, ‘That’s not what I said at all. You’re the _only_ thing I see in my future. You’re my only certainty.’

‘Then why can’t we get married?’ Remus said stubbornly.

Sirius sat up abruptly, dragging a hand down his face, ‘You’re not listening! I didn’t say we can’t. I said it wasn’t something I’d thought about.’

They sat for a moment, the awkward silence a stark contrast to their usual comfortable quiet before Remus spoke, his voice almost a whisper, ‘At Halloween you signed your name as Sirius Lupin.’

‘Only because I don’t like being a Black,’ Sirius snapped.

‘Well if we got married you wouldn’t have to be a Black, you could be a Lupin!’ Remus snapped back, sitting up and bringing his knees up to his chest and hooking his arms over them.

‘Oh my God Remus why are we having this conversation?’

Remus said nothing, resolutely not looking at Sirius who took a deep breath before saying, ‘Look, were you planning on proposing any time soon?’

Remus’ eyes flickered towards him, ‘No, but,’

‘Well there we go then. It’s not on the cards yet so can’t we just put this conversation on hold. We’re both tired, it’s been a long weekend,’

‘Fine.’

‘Great, now come on Re let’s, where are you going?’ Sirius said bemused as Remus hauled himself off the bed and made his way over to his desk before sitting down and switching on his laptop.

‘I’ve just remembered that I need to finish this reading for tomorrow.’

‘What, now? Remus it’s nearly midnight.’

‘Yeh, well.’

‘Oh ok,’ Sirius said, standing up and smoothing the rumpled edge of the duvet back down, ‘How long are you going to be?’

‘I don’t know Sirius,’ Remus let out a long breath as he bent down shuffling through his bag, eventually pulling out a thick text book, a pen and a battered notebook, ‘An hour? Maybe longer.’

‘Right. Should I go and sleep in my room or…?’ he trailed off.

‘Yeh, probably a good idea,’ Remus said his gaze steadfast on the screen of his laptop as he chewed on the corner of one thumb.

‘Ok,’ Sirius said, beginning to make his way towards the bedroom door before doubling back and going to stand behind Remus, hesitating for a moment before dropping a kiss onto his unruly curls, ‘Night then.’

‘Yeh,’ Remus said, a slight hitch in his voice but he didn’t look away from his text book, ‘Night Padfoot.’


	30. Chapter 30

**Wolfbucks**

**Rem**

You up?

**Jamie**

Yah

Just doing some yoga

REALLY want to master the sleeping turtle

**Rem**

Ooo what’s that?

I like turtles

**Jamie**

You sort of fold your legs back

and under your arm pits

and then cross your ankles under your head

**Rem**

That sounds complicated…

**Jamie**

Oh it is!

I can’t do it at all!

**Rem**

Maybe go for something a bit easier

Downward dog?

**Jamie**

You’re a downward dog

**Rem**

Sigh

I probably am

**Jamie**

Anyways

You ok?

**Rem**

No not really

I think I’ve fucked up

**Jamie**

Oh ok

Well we’ll sort it

What sort of fuck up?

**Rem**

Did you know that Sirius doesn’t want to get married?

As in at all

**Jamie**

Umm

I’m not sure he’s ever said so explicitly

but I think I had figured as much

because of his hideous parents

**Rem**

Right

Shit

**Jamie**

Why?

What’s happened?

**Rem**

We’ve had a fight about it

Well I think we’ve had a fight

**Jamie**

OMG!!

DID YOU ASK SIRIUS TO MARRY YOU?

WHEN?

HOW?

YAY!

Oh wait

It’s not yay is it

He said no didn’t he

Shit

Rem

I don’t know what to say

**Rem**

Calm Jam

I didn’t ask him to marry me

but we were talking about the future last night

and I casually mentioned him with a wedding ring

and he said he didn’t see himself getting married

and I don’t know

I was tired and got overly emotional

and as stated previously

I think I’ve fucked it

**Jamie**

I see

We just need some damage control

because it’s a guarantee that Padfoot is feeling shitty about this too

**Rem**

I hate that he is

I basically had a hissy fit

and threw him out our room

**Jamie**

Oh Remus

Never go to bed angry

You know that

**Rem**

I know

**Jamie**

Well what’s done is done

Don’t dwell

Talk it through with me and then speak to him?

**Rem**

Yes please

**Jamie**

Ok

Well first

It doesn’t seem like it’s a definitive no

I think it’s more that he doesn’t feel its necessary you know

he loves you enough without the piece of paper

He spent 18 years trying to prove himself to his parents

So now he finally has autonomy

Why should he have to prove anything to anyone else

Fair?

**Rem**

Yeh

I wish I’d taken a step back last night

To actually think about what he was saying

Because I get where he’s coming from

I really really do

**Jamie**

But…

**Rem**

It’s just

I don’t even know J

I just always imagined it

Introducing him as my husband

Him changing his name to Lupin

so he can get rid of Black

Even just telling my mum that we’re engaged

**Jamie**

Oh Moony

That’s it though isn’t it

Your parents have the most awesome marriage of all the marriages

and that’s what you grew up knowing

But Sirius

His experience of marriage is of two people who barely tolerated being in the same room as each other

His dad had a stream of mistresses

and his mother was bitter and unhappy

and we both know how that ended for Sirius

**Rem**

Oh God

I feel like a total bastard

I think I might be the worlds worst boyfriend

**Jamie**

Nope!

Stopping you there

We’re not going down that road

You had a fight

There are two sides in every argument

You’re right

You should have taken a step back

but perhaps Sirius should have taken some time to ask you why it _is_ so important to you

You can’t shoulder the blame entirely

That’s not how healthy relationships work

**Rem**

You make it sound so simple to fix

**Jamie**

Because it is Remus

This is you and Sirius we’re talking about

**Rem**

You’re right

I wanted to give him some space to be mad at me this morning

but do you think I should text him after his 10am?

**Jamie**

Yes

I do

One final thing

Do you need a James hug?

**Rem**

Yes please

**Jamie**

OMW

\------------------------------

**PB to my J**

**Moons**

Morning cariad

I’m sorry I missed you this morning

I’m sorry about everything really

Last night was a total screw up

**Pads**

Oh Re thank god

I’m been worried about you all morning

It’s ok

**Moons**

It’s not ok though is it

**Pads**

No

Not really

But it will be

I promise

**Moons**

Yeh

I know it will

I’m sorry I got so pissed

**Pads**

We were both tired

It was a VERY long weekend

Did you get your reading done?

**Moons**

Sirius

You know I didn’t have any reading to do

**Pads**

Yeh I know

I was trying to give you an out

**Moons**

Thanks

Possibly don’t derserve one

**Pads**

Meh

I possibly deserved the cold shoulder

I was so desperate to get my point across

that I didn’t stop to consider yours

I owe you an explanation really

**Moons**

You don’t

I know why you feel like you do

And I knew last night

I just

Didn’t want to know?

Does that make sense?

**Pads**

Yeh

It does

I mean

We’re going to have to revisit this conversation at some point

But we’re ok right?

**Moons**

Yeh

Course we are

**Pads**

I just want to you know though Re

That me not wanting to get married

Doesn’t dilute how much I love you

Nothing can touch that you know?

**Moons**

I do know

But I think I needed to hear that today

Ti a Fi Am Byth

**Pads**

Ooo

That’s not the normal I love you

What’s that one?

**Moons**

It’s like

You and me forever

**Pads**

Well that’s something I can get on board with

Shall I come home?

We can have another Conversation™

I could get a sharing box of chicken nuggets on my way

**Moons**

That sounds perfect

Although aren’t you meeting your translation pals today?

**Pads**

Nah

That’s tomorrow

K asked if I wanted to go for a coffee

but I think I’m going to give it a miss

**Moons**

Oh no don’t!

Don’t change your plans for me

**Pads**

No I won’t

But I’m just not feeling it today

He’s so cool

and is really fun to be around

but sometimes he’s just a bit much

and I’m aware that’s something coming from me!

**Moons**

You’re never too much for me

You’re everything I need

**Pads**

I know that's was supposed to be sweet

and i love you so much for saying it

but

I swear

Hearing you say stuff like that still does Things to me

**Moons**

I know…

That’s why I do it

Which has just reminded me of something I want to add to the jar

**Pads**

!!!

Tell me?

Actually no

I want it to be a surprise

**Moons**

**😉**

Ok

So no Kingsley then

I remember when we saw him a Halloween

he didn’t stop talking

although tbh I thought that’s because he was wankered

**Pads**

Haha

He probs was

but he’s like that sober too

and I’m too tired for that bullshit today

in the nicest possible way

So I will be home with nugs and hugs in about 20

**Moons**

Can’t wait

\------------------------------

**Private Message**

**Sirius**

I’m going to have to bail on coffee

Sorry Kings

**Kingsley**

Aww koala face no!

🐨

**Sirius**

Haha

Koala face

Yeh sorry

I’m shattered from the weekend

Just want to go home and nap with Re if I’m honest

**Kingsley**

Yeh that’s fair enough mate

Still on for tomorrow though?

We’re running out of time!

**Sirius**

Yep

All good for tomorrow

You coming to mine?

**Kingsley**

Sounds good

Looking forward to it

**Sirius**

See you then


	31. Chapter 31

**A Good Pear**

**Alice**

Fixed?

**Sirius**

I think so

We had a very relationshippy talk

and then a very relationshippy cuddle

and we’re going to go out tonight

just the two of us

**Alice**

Ahh that sounds nice!

I’ve glad you talked it out

**Sirius**

Same

Its hard though

We still have completely opposing views on the whole marriage thing

but at least now we’ve heard each other out

rather than just had a go

Man being in a proper relationship is hard

**Alice**

Hell yeh it is

worth it though

**Sirius**

So worth it

I can’t imagine not being with him

the thought actually makes me feel a bit sick

**Alice**

I know what you mean

I think the issue with you two is

is that the honeymoon period is officially over

so all the little worries you have

start worming their way in

You’ll work through it though

I know you will

WOLFSTAR ‘TIL I DIE

**Sirius**

I think you’re probably right

Although a question

If the honeymoon period is over

Is the sex about to dry up…?

Because I am NOT down for that

**Alice**

LOL

Do you think _Remus_ would be down for that

**Sirius**

Absolutely not

**Alice**

There we go then!

All the sex for you!

And speaking of sex

How’s the jar?

**Sirius**

Re’s put one in there this morning!

I’m keeping it a surprise though

Well excited

And a bit turned on if I’m honest

**Alice**

So it IS a sex jar!!!

**Sirius**

Bugger

Umm

Not sure how to talk my way out of this

**Alice**

Tell me one!

Tell me one that’s you’ve tried

Ooo are they proper kinky?

I bet they’re kinky

**Sirius**

There is a healthy mix

Thank you very much

**Alice**

Nice

Lucky boy

**Sirius**

Hell yeh I am

My man knows how to move

I’ll get him to give Frankie some advice

**😉**

**Alice**

Hey!

My Frank does fine

I’ll have you know

**Sirius**

Hahahaha

I jest

And I bet he does

I love Frank

**Alice**

Me too

Obvs

**Sirius**

Actually while we’re talking about taking notes

I’m really sorry to ask

but any chance I could have a copy of todays?

I hardly took any

I couldn’t concentrate

**Alice**

Already done love

I’ve google drived them to you

I could tell you were upset about stuff

**Sirius**

Ahh thanks Al

You’re a star

**Alice**

No that’s you silly!

And you’re welcome

You’d do the same for me

**Sirius**

Love you lots

**Alice**

Love you more

\------------------------------

**The Marauders**

**Moony**

Prongs and Worms

Siri and I are eating out tonight

but what do you say to us picking up pudding

on our way home

and making a night of it?

**Prongs**

Yaaas!

That sounds delightful

Although I thought you’d already eaten out

by the sounds of you screaming

during your impressively long make-up sex sesh earlier

**Padfoot**

Eyyyyy 😉

I know how to please my man

**Moony**

Walked straight into that one didn’t I

and I wasn’t screaming!

**Prongs**

Yep!

And I am very proud of myself

And yeh Rem

You 100% were

**Moony**

I am willing to admit

That I may have been a tad louder than usual

But I had a lot of pent up emotion!

I needed to set it free

**Wormtail**

TBH it made a nice change of pace

Its usually Padfoot

If I close my eyes

I can still hear him bellowing expletives

I swear they’re drilled into my brain

**Padfoot**

Well ‘Tails

I do like a good drilling

**Prongs**

HAHA!

I mean who doesn’t

Also

I’d like to return to Moony’s original text

I don’t think I’ve EVER heard you call Padfoot ‘Siri’ before

**Wormtail**

I also thought that

Remember when Fabian went through that phase of asking you to do stuff

As if you were actual Siri

And in the end you totally lost your shit with him?

Hilarious times

**Moony**

YES!

That was SO funny

**Padfoot**

Humph

It was irritating

He was irritating

Stupid Fabian

**Moony**

Love…

**Padfoot**

FINE

Just Fabian

**Prongs**

OMG yes

That was at that house party

Rem had to take you home

Because you got so stroppy

**Padfoot**

Yes well

Everyone else started doing it too

I ended up having to get like a million drinks for people

Dicks

Kingsley calls me Koala face

Even that’s better than Siri

**Wormtail**

Ummm

Why does Kingsley call you Koala face?

**Padfoot**

I said something about going on a date at the zoo

and cuddling by the koalas

it became a thing

**Prongs**

I see

Not gonna lie Paddy

That’s a bit weird

But ANYWAY

Yes to pudding night!

**Wormtail**

I am also up for all the puddings!

Can we have cheesecake?

Ooo and banana splits!

Love a banana split

**Prongs**

You know who else love a banana split?

**Moony**

No THANK you Prongs!

**Prongs**

☹

But it was going to be a good one!

I need something to keep me entertained

**Padfoot**

Where even are you?

I thought you didn’t have labs today?

**Prongs**

I don’t

I’m in Jenners with Lils

There’s a limited edition MAC lipstick

which we need to buy

So i’m having myself an afternoon of shopping

Ya know

Livin’ it up in the city

**Padfoot**

Ooo

Got Chucks on with Saint Laurent?

**Prongs**

Gotta kiss myself, I’m so pretty

**Padfoot**

I’m too hot

**Prongs**

…

**Wormtail**

Mooonnnyyyy

**Moony**

What?

Why is this me?

**Wormtail**

Because we all know Padfoot will strop

if it’s not you saying it

**Padfoot**

He’s right

I will

**Moony**

Oh ok

Fair enough

Although I’d like to make it known

That Pads is the only person I would agree to participate in this for

Want to start again

I’ve buggered the flow

**Padfoot**

I’M TOO HOT

**Moony**

Hot damn! 😉

**Prongs**

Call a police and a fireman

**Padfoot**

I’m too hot

**Moony**

Hot damn!

**Wormtail**

Make a dragon wanna retire man

**Padfoot**

I’m too hot

**Moony**

Hot damn!

**Prongs**

Say my name, you know who I am

**Padfoot**

I’m too hot

**Moony**

Hot damn!

**Wormtail**

Am I bad ‘bout that money?

**Prongs**

Break it down!

\------------------------------

**Basic Bitches**

**Dorcas Ignatia**

Just want you to know

That I’ve thought about you all morning

**Marlene Elisabeth**

Aww Dorky!

That’s so sweet

**🥰**

**Dorcas Ignatia**

Well

I’ve mainly thought about you all morning

Because I’m pretty sure I still can’t feel my legs properly

Even if we did get interrupted

By Gid coming to pick you up

**Marlene Elisabeth**

Oh shit

Really?

**Dorcas Ignatia**

Yup

And I was thinking

Next time we do

Stuff

Can I try doing it to you?

**Marlene Elisabeth**

Fuck

Yes

Obviously

But only if you feel ready

Don’t feel like you have to

**Dorcas Ignatia**

Sure

But just so you know

After you left

I finished myself off

Imagining I was doing it to you

**Marlene Elisabeth**

Oh god


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On Sunday I ate an orange which made me more poorly than I have ever been ever - so now I can't eat oranges anymore.
> 
> Anyway, that's the reason this chapter is late, its longer than usual i'm afraid! It also got away with me a bit and there's a small amount of spice right at the end, nothing too explicit though.
> 
> It's prose too, so i hope you don't mind that too much. I'm finding some of the plot I want to include difficult to get into texts.

‘I’m going to make a cherry cake,’ Remus told James as they walked up the little concrete path that led to their front door, ‘Sirius bought some ridiculously expensive glace cherries on a whim in the last big shop they’re clearly going to end up binned otherwise.’

‘Ugghh yesss,’ James moaned unnecessarily loudly, ‘I love your cherry cake. Tis the cake of the Gods. Ooo are you going to put almonds in it like last time?’

‘Oh, maybe yeh,’ Remus answered but then shook his head, ‘No actually, probably not. It I put almonds in it then Frank can’t have any and I don’t have enough stuff to make another nut free one.’

‘Ahh, good shout Remoose,’ James said sagely, digging in his pocket for his keys, ‘You’re so wise.’ He opened the front door and stepped back with a flourish, ‘After you good sir.’

‘Why thank you Prongs,’ Remus said mock graciously, stepping past him into the small hallway, making sure to give him a good jostle.

‘Rude!’

Loud laughter filtered in from the living room as they divested themselves of coats and shoes. James looked at Remus confused before a look of realisation crossed his face, ‘Oh yeh, I forgot that it was Padfoot’s turn to host his translation group thingy.’

Remus nodded, ‘They’ve only got this week left before they go. I should have made the cake yesterday, they could have had it to keep them going,’ he looked at his watch, ‘They still could actually, it normally goes on a bit doesn’t it.’

The two boys wandered into the living room to find Sirius, Kingsley, Hestia and two girls neither of them recognised sprawled in various spots around the room. Sirius was lying across the sofa, legs thrown over the arm rest and a large stack of papers propped up against his knees. Kingsley was on the floor just in front, leaning back to talk to him, elbow resting on the cushion by Sirius chest and pointing out something in a large, black notebook. Both boys looked up from their conversation as James and Remus appeared.

‘You’re home!’ Sirius exclaimed happily, extending his arms and making grabby hands at Remus, ‘Did you have a good day?’

‘Umm, yeh, hi everyone,’ Remus said, heading towards Sirius and awkwardly leaning over Kingsley to give Sirius a hug. 

Sirius hummed softly and took the opportunity to run a hand through Remus’ hair, ‘Missed you.’ James cleared his throat loudly, looking at Sirius expectantly, ‘And you too Prongsie.’ 

James grinned and shot him a pair of finger guns immediately looking rather aghast, ‘I’m not really sure why I did that,’ he admitted and then shrugged, ‘Oh well, reckon I pulled it off.’

‘Damn right you did J, you sexy, sexy beast,’ Sirius assured him, ‘Great introduction. Re, Prongs, this is Penny and Clara,’ he pointed to the two girls who were sitting on the sofa opposite who both smiled, ‘And you know Kingsley and Hestia.’

‘Nice to see you again mate,’ Kinglsey said, grabbing Remus’ arm and using it to pull himself up before giving him a thump on the back and then turning to James to do the same, ‘You ok lads?’

‘Yeh not bad, you?’ James answered, leaning across the coffee table where Hestia was sat in the ancient Ikea Poang and giving her a kiss on each cheek. Remus waved at her and she blew him a kiss. ‘Moony’s about to make a cherry cake, and I for one could not be more excited about this development.’

‘Oh maaann, Moons makes the best cherry cake,’ Sirius groaned dramatically making Remus laugh,

‘That’s exactly the same reaction I got from Prongs. I should make cherry cake more often.’

‘Wow, maybe I should get in on this cherry cake making if that’s the reaction you get,’ Kingsley laughed, resuming his position on the floor. ‘Love cherries. Ah mate, the last time I was in Paris we went to this patisserie and I had the _most_ amazing cherry clafoutis. I swear it was the absolute bomb. We should def go to a proper French patisserie this weekend, they’ll have loads of fancy stuff out for Valentines too.’

‘Is your hotel near a French bakery or something?’ Remus asked conversationally, lifting Sirius’ legs up and sitting down on the sofa before pulling his legs back down so they were resting atop his thighs and wrapping a hand around his calf.

‘Well yes,’ Kingsley said, looking at him, ‘There’s literally one on every street, especially in the touristy areas.’

‘I’m so down for that,’ Hestia chimed in, ‘Love me a lemon citron.’

‘Yes! Or that wobbly custard tart thing,’ Penny added.

‘Mmm, yes,’ Hestia agreed, ‘I swear if we could spend all weekend eating then I would.’

‘But alas we can’t,’ Sirius lamented, ‘Although I bet the food at the dos will be good. Which reminds me Kings,’ he gave Kingsley a shove, ‘Did you get your suit sorted?’

‘Yup, no thanks to you,’ Kingsley said jokingly, ‘You missed out.’

Sirius laughed, ‘Well that’s us all more or less sorted then isn’t it? Clars did you find your passport?’

‘Yeh,’ Clara said, swigging down the last of the tea she’d been drinking, ‘Although had a minor panic that it was out of date but then I remembered that it’s not 2022, so all is good.’

‘Oh my God can you imagine?’ Penny said, just as Remus asked, ‘Why do you need your passport to go to London?’

‘What?’ Sirius said, looking confused, ‘We don’t need it to go to London, but I’m pretty sure they’re not going to let us on the plane to Paris without one.’

‘Oh,’ Remus faltered and then quickly followed up with, ‘Oh sure, yeh, of course, ignore me, I’m being stupid.’

‘Silly,’ Sirius said fondly, giving his legs a wiggle until Remus placed his free hand on his knee, ‘It’s been a long day for Remusaur’s.’

‘Cute,’ Kingsley said looking at the two of them and then back to his notebook, ‘Right gang, we should probs get on otherwise we’ll be here all night.’

‘Ergh fiiiine,’ Sirius sighed before looking at Remus who had begun to chew on his thumb. He kicked his legs slightly making Remus look towards him and mouthed, ‘You alright?’

‘Hmm? Yeh, sorry, I’m fine.’ He plastered a smile on his face, ‘I better leave you guys to it then. I need to ring mum to get the recipe if we want cherry cake, I think I threw away the photocopy.’ He lifted Sirius legs up once more and manoeuvred them back onto the sofa as he got up, James watching him shrewdly from across the room where he’d struck up conversation with Penny.’

‘Good job Rem,’ Sirius said, ‘Tell Hope I say hi?’

‘Will do,’

‘Wait!’ Sirius called as Remus turned towards the doorway, ‘What do you want for dinner? We’ll only be another hour or so.’

‘Don’t mind,’ Remus said turning around, ‘Prongs?’

I’m easy. Will you guys,’ he gestured around towards Kingsley and the girls, ‘Still be here? We could order pizza. Two for one Tuesday and all.’

‘Ah, we’re good thanks,’ Clara said, ‘Pen and I have got house dins tonight where bizarrely we are also having two for one Tuesday pizza.’

‘Great minds,’ James said, tapping the side of his head, ‘Hestia? Kingsley?’

‘As much as I wish I could stay and stuff my face with pizza, I’ve got hockey so I can’t,’ Hestia said forlornly, ‘Keep me in your thoughts as you eat it though.’

James snorted, ‘Will do Hes, forgot you played. Apparently you’re shit hot too.’

‘She is,’ Kinglsey agreed, ‘You should see how she handles the balls.’

‘Cheeky,’ Sirius said, knocking his head lightly, ‘You staying for pizza?’

Kinglsey grinned, tipping his head back and giving Sirius a wink, ‘Only for you Koala Face and yeh, I’m down for pizza if that’s ok with you guys.’

‘Yeh course,’ Sirius said easily, ‘On me though, you got that Chinese last time.’

‘Ahh cheers Koals. Sweet, free pizza, I’ll come again.’

‘I’m just going to,’ Remus trailed off before clearing his throat, ‘I’ll see you lads in a bit then. It was nice to meet you,’ he shot a weak smile at Penny and Clara, ‘Bye Hestia,’ and he turned and disappeared into the hallway.

Once he reached the bedroom he closed the door, taking a deep breath as he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He walked over to the bed and sat down heavily, pulling his phone out from his pocket and seeing two messages from Sirius,

**PB to my J**

**Pads**

You sure you’re ok?

You were being a bit weird

He tossed the phone down next to him, telling himself he’d go back out in a minute just as a knock sounded on the door. ‘You don’t need to knock babe,’ he called frustratedly, ‘Just come in.’

The door creaked open and a messy haired head appeared, ‘Not Sirius, tis me, can I come in?’

‘Sure Prongs, sorry.’

James closed the door behind him and made his way over to Remus and plonked himself down. They sat for a moment before James spoke, ‘I’m just going to ask ok, you alright?’

‘Yeh, course. Why wouldn’t I be?’

‘I don’t know Rem, you went a bit funny just then, Kingsley noticed.’

‘Oh course he bloody did,’ Remus muttered under his breath and flopped back, scrubbing his hands down his face, ‘Prongs?’

‘Mmm?’ James laid down next him, looking up at the ceiling.

‘Did you know they were going to Paris?’

James turned his head, ‘Yeh, didn’t you?’

‘No. I didn’t,’ Remus answered and he could hear that his voice sounded sullen, he hated it. ‘When Sirius told me about the weekend I just presumed it was in London. And now I feel stupid because I’m irrationally annoyed that Sirius didn’t tell me explicitly but I am also high key aware that he would have just assumed I knew it would be Paris.’

‘Does it bother you that it’s Paris?’ James asked tentatively, ‘Like, does it make a difference to anything?’

‘No. I don’t know, maybe, erghh,’ Remus made a noise at the back of his throat, frustrated with himself.

‘Then what are you worried about Rem, and don’t try and bullshit your way out of this because something is clearly bothering you.’

‘I don’t know James,’ Remus said, turning his head and resting his forehead on James shoulder, ‘I just feel like things have been a bit off recently. First there was the freak out about my PhD, then the whole marriage issue which was an unmitigated disaster and I feel like things are slipping.’

‘Oh Rem,’ James propped his chin on Remus’ head and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, giving him a squeeze, ‘I don’t like you like this.’

‘I don’t like me like this either,’ Remus agreed vehemently, ‘I was _never_ like this with Fabian. I don’t want to be and I won’t be a dick about this weekend, I know how important it is. I mean this is his dream career and this could give him the leg up he needs and he so deserves it but…’ he trailed off.

‘But you don’t like the way Kingsley calls him Koala face?’ James suggested carefully.

‘Twp coalas,’ Remus huffed into James’ shoulder. 

‘What was that Rem?’ James asked amused.

Remus pulled back and gave him a sheepish look, ‘Welsh for stupid koalas. Oh god Prongs, I’m jealous and I hate it. This is the cosmos punishing me because I secretly thought that between the two of us Sirius would be the jealous one. I’m an egotistical berk, boooo Remusaur.’

‘Jesus Christ,’ James said exasperatedly, ‘Screw paediatrics, I think I should become a relationship counsellor, I could specialise in idiot in love.’

‘Humph,’ Remus kicked at his ankles and James laughed, ‘I just feel like things are slipping. Everything was so perfect and now,’

‘And now it’s becoming a proper relationship,’ James finished for him, ‘Yeh Rem, that’s what supposed to happen. You’re saying it’s slipping? Then unslip things. What’s the opposite of slip? Stick? You need to stick things and I don’t just mean in the spicy sort of a way.’

‘You’re so weird Prongs.’

‘Thanks. But I mean it, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, this is you and Sirius we’re talking about, you’re made for each other. Don’t tell anyone else I said this but I think you might be the best couple ever, and that includes me and Lily.’

‘Wow,’ Remus said, a small but genuine smile creeping onto his face, ‘That’s quite the accolade.’

‘Hell yeh it is!’ James grinned at him and both boys sat up as another knock sounded at the door and Sirius’ head appeared. He gave Remus’ shoulder one last squeeze; I’ll leave you to your boy.’

He headed out the bedroom, stopping briefly to pinch Sirius’ cheeks who flapped his arms at him and then slapped him hard on the arse as he called over his shoulder to Remus, ‘I expect an enormous slice of Hope Lupin’s cherry cake and giant cup of your posh decaf Earl Grey in time for Holby City this evening!’

‘I’ll get to right to it,’ Remus called back with a laugh as Sirius sat down in James’ recently vacated spot.

‘Sooo,’ Sirius said looking at Remus expectantly, ‘I feel like we’re about to have another conversation.’

‘Nah,’ Remus said grabbing Sirius hand in his, ‘Sorry I was being a moody bastard. Do you think I should go and apologise?’

‘What? No, course not. It’s not like you were super rude or anything and to be fair when we get together we are sort of in our own little translation world. Kingsley just asked if you were ok that’s all. It was only Prongs who clocked that something might be up.’ He shifted closer to Remus so their thighs were pressed together, ‘God, what would we do without Prongs?’

‘I frankly don’t know,’ Remus said, his face falling slightly, ‘Do you think that’s an issue?’

‘Honestly? No, not really. I mean you’re supposed to depend on your best friend for advice about stuff, it just so happens that in our case our best friend is the same person.’

‘Hey!’ Remus nudged him gently, ‘I thought I was your best friend.’

‘Remus,’ Sirius hooked an ankle round his calf, ‘You’re not my best friend. You’re my best everything.’

‘You smooth fucker,’ Remus said, pulling Sirius into his lap and bringing their lips together for a kiss.

‘That’s me,’ Sirius pulled back, eyes sparkling, ‘Do you want to talk about it though? Remember the rule.’

‘Yeh ok,’ Remus said leaning his forehead against Sirius’, ‘It’s nothing that you don’t know already though. I’m just stressing which is apparently what I do now. First it was the whole you thinking I was going to break up with thing, then the marriage thing and now the going to Paris with another bloke on Valentines thing…’

‘But I specifically asked you Re,’ Sirius said shifting back, ‘And you said it wasn’t an issue?’

Remus sighed, ‘I didn’t realise you were going to Paris until, well, until 20 minutes ago. I thought you were just going to London.’

‘Oh. Shit.’

‘Yeh. It’s not your fault, we both just assumed something and we’ve both been so busy with uni stuff that we haven’t actually had that much time to talk recently. We’re either working or,

‘Shagging?’ Sirius suggested.

‘Well, I was going to say sleeping but you’re not wrong. And I know in reality you going to the conference in Paris makes no difference to you going the conference in London but,’

‘But…?’

‘But Kingsley called you Koala Face and I don’t like it,’ Remus finished lamely, ‘Only I should get to call you cute nicknames.’

‘James and Pete literally call me Padfoot Re.’

‘Yes, but Padfoot is not cute. You do remember why we call you Padfoot don’t you?’

‘Because of the foot cream,’ Sirius mumbled, a blush spreading across the apples of his cheeks.

‘What was that love?’

‘Ergh. Because of the foot cream. I swear to God you have an allergic reaction to peppermint foot cream and have to be taken to A&E in an ambulance ONE time,’

‘Oh my god it was so funny,’ Remus laughed, ‘Watching you trying to walk around with those fucking bandages wrapped around your feet was the total highlight of that term.’

‘You’re being mean to me,’ Sirius pouted, ‘And you’re deflecting.’

‘Maybe,’ Remus granted, ‘Sorry, I don’t mean to be a prick about it. Come here please, I need a better cuddle.’

He grabbed at Sirius’ leg and manhandled him until he was straddling Remus’ thighs, his knees resting on the bed and arms slung around Remus neck.

Remus gave him an approvingly look, ‘Much better,’ he said happily as he began to nose at Sirius’ neck, ‘You smell like me.’

‘I used your shaving soap,’ Sirius said, tipping his head to the side, ‘It’s fancier than mine. Mmm, that feels nice.’

‘I’m sorry I’m such a grumpy bastard lately, I know the Kingsley thing is stupid.’

‘It’s very stupid,’ Sirius agreed, rocking his hips slightly, ‘It’s not like he calls me Siriusaur,’ he brought a hand up to anchor in Remus’ hair, ‘Or babe, or Pads or Cariad. Which is new and I _love_ by the way.’

‘Good to know,’ Remus replied, voice muffled in Sirius’ shoulder as he tucked the glossy black hair behind his ears and began to suck at a spot just below Sirius’ jaw.

‘Oh no you don’t Remus Carnivorous Lupin,’ Sirius chastised jerking away, ‘I can’t go to this conference with a fuck off hickey for all the world to see.’

‘Oh shit, yeh, sorry,’ Remus looked up at him, panting slightly, ‘Fuck, you’re so gorgeous. I still can’t believe you’re mine. You’re so perfect.’

‘Ugh,’ Sirius groaned, grinding down with more intent, ‘And you,’ he sucked in a breath as Remus began to move his hips in time with his own, ‘And you know exactly what that does to me.’

‘Can’t help it. I mean every word. Although,’ Remus stilled his hips, ‘You know you can stop whenever.’

‘I know. Don’t you fucking dare,’ he grabbed Remus’ hips, urging him to keep moving and kissed him hard. Remus in turn ran his hands down Sirius’ back until they rested on his arse and squeezed hard before bringing one hand round to the now obvious bulge in Sirius’ jeans and pressing down with the heel of his palm.

Sirius gasped as he rubbed against Remus’ hand, desperate for the friction before Remus silenced him with another kiss, ‘Shhh,’ he murmured, ‘You need to be quiet love, the door’s open. Fuck, we should probably stop.’

‘No,’ Sirius whined, ‘I’m already so close.’

‘I can tell,’ Remus said, his own breath becoming erratic, ‘But you’re going to have to go back in their with different trousers on otherwise and I can guarantee they’ll tease you mercilessly. You’re not wearing boxers, are you?’

‘Ngh,’ Sirius shook his head, ‘No, fuck, I’m not. Bugger. Ah!’ he moaned loudly.

‘Yep, we definitely need to stop,’ Remus said trying to wiggle free from where he was pinned to the bed by Sirius’ knees, ‘There’s no way they didn’t hear that.’ And as if on queue James’ voice echoed warningly down the hallway.

‘Lads, I’m going to make tea for everyone, _why don’t you come and join us.’_

‘Shit,’ Sirius rolled away onto his back, throwing an arm over his face, ‘Shit. You’re so fucking hot Re.’

‘Says you,’ Remus retorted, grabbing Sirius’ arm and bringing his hand to cover his groin. Sirius groaned at the feel of him and gave him a squeeze before pulling Remus on top of him. Remus propped himself up on his elbows so he was hovering above, ‘I’ll go and pretend to help Prongs make tea, its not like me wandering into the kitchen with a boner is going to shock him.’ Sirius snorted and Remus leant down and rubbed their noises together before continuing, ‘You however, should probably give it 5 minutes before you go back to your pals,’ he looked down at Sirius’ own crotch pointedly before winking at him.

‘Tease,’ Sirius grumbled, sitting up and pushing Remus away playfully, ‘Stupid translation stuff, ruining my fun. Just you want until later Remusaur. I’m going to have you on your back moaning my name so loudly we’re going to get done for noise pollution.’

‘Sexy,’ Remus snorted amused and then changed tack, lowering his voice to a whisper and brining his lips to Sirius’ ear, ‘I did think though, if I was on my back, with my fingers in your mouth, I’d have you ride me so hard you’d see fucking stars.’

‘Jesus fuck Re,’ Sirius flushed, ‘You need to go, or I’m going to end up having to change these jeans anyway.’

Remus gave one last dirty chuckle and stood up, pulling Sirius with him, ‘I love you Sirius Black. I’ll make you a ginger tea?’

Sirius allowed himself to melt into Remus’ chest just for a moment before taking deep breath and stepping back, ‘Yes please, that sounds perfect. And I love you too Moonymine. Always yeh?’

‘Course’ said Remus firmly, ‘BBF’s. Best Boyfriends Forever.’


	33. Chapter 33

**Jily**

**James**

I miss you

What you doing?

**Lily**

Not a lot

You?

**James**

Same

I’m so full of pizza

and red wine

**Lily**

Uh Oh

You’re pizza drunk

Don’t worry

In half an hour you’ll be hungry again

**James**

God that’s so true

You’re so clever

and beautiful

**Lily**

Thank you Jamie

**James**

Is Alice feeling better?

**Lily**

Umm

I just asked

and she says to tell you to fuck off

so I’m guessing probably not?

**James**

Poor Alice

No-one like period pain

I’ve heard its terrible

**Lily**

You have heard right

It is the worst

**James**

Wormy says to tell her

if she has any lavender essential oil

to rub some of her tummy

apparently that might help

**Lily**

Oh

Ok I will tell her

Thanks Pete!

**James**

He says you’re welcome!

**Lily**

Did you watch War Horse?

**James**

It was SO SAD Lils

Like there were tears a plenty

And also a weird Kingsley/Sirius/Remus thing happened

But I can’t decide whether I’m reading too much into it

**Lily**

Oh god what happened??

I obvs need to know immediately

**James**

Right

Well we’re watching the film

And Sirius is sandwiched between Kingsley and Rem on the sofa

we’re at the bit where Joey is in No Man’s Land

and the horsey runs into that razor barbed wire

and Padfoot is beside himself

**Lily**

Right…

TBF to him that bit was heart breaking

**James**

I know!

But

At exactly the same time

Both R and Kingsley

throw an arm around Sirius’ shoulder

**Lily**

Fuuuck

What did Sirius do?

What did Remus do??

Also I have questions but we’ll come back to those

**James**

Well Sirius obviously leant towards Remus

and tried to laugh it off

and Remus just slowly took Kingsley’s forearm

and removed it

and said in a very low voice ‘Nope’

It was excruciatingly awkward

**Lily**

Jesus Christ I bet it was!

Oh God I can hear Remus saying Nope

I bet he can be well intimidating if he wants to be

**James**

Yeh he was a bit!

Which was weird

I’ve never seen him like it before

Kingsley just laughed though

And said something about boyfriend cuddles making everything better

**Lily**

Hmmm

And I’m going to ask

Does Kingsley have a thing for Sirius then?

**James**

Not that I’m aware off

I don’t know him that well

but he just seems like one of those super friendly types

and he just very tactile

like he’s always giving people hugs and stuff

I just think that Rem’s been through the mill a bit recently

so didn’t take it well

**Lily**

I don’t actually blame Remus here though

I mean

All it takes is to be feeling a it crappy about something

and it spirals

Maybe one to watch there Jamie

**James**

Yeh

He calls Sirius Koala Face

which Rem clearly hates

**Lily**

That’s a bit weird

I don’t know how I feel about this

Although its not like Remus has anything to worry about though is it

**James**

Course not

They literally were about to have sex with the door wide open earlier

when all Padfoot’s translation chums were here

they were NOT being quiet

**Lily**

I wish you were joking

but I know you’re not

you and Pete really should set some tighter in house boundaries

**James**

Nah

It’s all good

We just want our boys to be happy!

**Lily**

Too cute

\------------------------------

**My Support Bras**

**Als**

Marly, Dorky

Cheer me up

How’s the date going?

Any under the table hand action?

Did you bang in the loo’s?

**Marls**

Firstly

☹ I’m sorry you’re still feeling sucky

Poor Al

And secondly

No!

We’re not Remus and Sirius

**Als**

Are you at least holding hands?

You’ve got to give me something

**Dorky**

We held hands on the bus?

Any good?

**Als**

It’ll have to do

**Marly**

And we did decide to sack going for drinks after dinner

in favour of cuddling bed

**Als**

Ahh yes

That’s the stuff

You going to get naked and light candles?

**Dorky**

Are you ok Al?

Is Lils home?

**Lils**

I am home

Don’t worry about her

She’s all weepy

and possibly high on lavender essential oil

**Dorky**

I see…

Alice lovely

Would you feel better

if we picked you up a Chai Latte on the way home?

**Als**

Oh god

Yes

It really really would

**Lils**

Ahem

**Marly**

Don’t worry Lils

I’ve got you

Almond milk cinnamon latte

and a lemon and poppy seed muffin

**Lils**

Ugh yes

Marly you’re a dream

Leave Dorky

and shack up with me

I’ll make it worth your while

**Marly**

I bet you would

😉

\------------------------------

**Jily**

**Lily**

Jaaaaames

I’ve just drunk a cinnamon latte

and realised how late it is

☹

**James**

Oh dear

You need to try and beat the caffeine!

Go to sleep before it hits the blood stream!

**Lily**

Oh god!

Now I’m stressed about trying to fall asleep!

**James**

Oops

Sorry flower

Umm

You can always watch/read something

Or talk to me!

**Lily**

Yeh

Oh also

Before I forget

Alice says the essential oil thing actually helped a bit!

So thanks Pete!

**James**

Oh good!

I’m glad it helped

Not nice

I mean prostaglandins

Literally trigger uterine muscle contractions

so the uterus can expel its lining

**Lily**

God you’re so medical

I’m not going to lie

It’s a massive turn on

**James**

Really?

**Lily**

Yup

**James**

in that case

and speaking of turn ons

Did you know that one of the best things for period pain

Is an orgasm?

**Lily**

Give me the science

**James**

When someone with a uterus

orgasms

the muscles in the area contract and retract

**Lily**

Oh God

More

**James**

And the body releases a rush of dopamine and serotonin

two hormones which act as natural pain relievers

**Lily**

In all seriousness

I love the way you’re so matter of fact about it

**James**

*Siriusness

Yeh well

Bodies do what bodies do

What’s the point in getting weird about it

**Lily**

True

**James**

Lils?

**Lily**

Yeh?

**James**

I know you were joking before

about that being a turn on

but I was wondering…

**Lily**

Go on…

And I might have been joking just then

But I actually do find it incredibly attractive

**James**

You’re incredibly attractive

I can’t stop thinking about your body now

**Lily**

James

You can think about my body any time you like

I love that you know what to do with it

**James**

What would you want me to do if I was there now?

**Lily**

Fuck

We going to try this again?

**James**

I want to

If you want to

I promise not to sing 90’s R&B to you again

**Lily**

Haha

But yeh

I want to

I’m thinking about your fingers

and your tongue

and your fucking strong rowing thighs

**James**

I can’t choose

All of you

It’s just perfect

That moment when I’ve finally got you naked

and I look at you lying underneath me

with your legs spread

and just think fuck

I can’t believe I’m the one that gets to see this

I’m the luckiest fucking bloke alive

**Lily**

Oh God

**James**

Fuck I’m hard

Tell me what you’d want to do

I’d do anything

**Lily**

Shit

I’m proper turned on

Ok

Imagine I’m there

I kneel down

And slowly unzip your jeans

**James**

Yesss

I run my fingers through your hair

And now along your collar bone

and over the tops of your breasts

**Lily**

I tug your jeans down

and slowly rub the outside of your boxers

maybe mouthing over you

feeling you getting hard for me

**James**

I turn my hat backwards

**Lily**

Ok…

After I’ve teased you a bit

I give you a squeeze

and pull you boxers down

**James**

I throw a Pokeball at you

**Lily**

James!

**James**

It wiggles on the ground

then stops

You are mine forever

**Lily**

How is it

That you have simultaneously ruined the mood

but also managed to pull off being incredibly sweet

You’re ridiculous

You were doing really well as well!

**James**

I know I know

I’m sorry

There was some sort of incident going on outside

and it distracted me

and I lost the mood

and then just felt really self conscience

Do you want to try again?

**Lily**

If I’m honest not really

The idea was fun

But I was reaching my limit of ideas

I was beginning to panic about how I was going to describe blowing you over text

I really don’t think this cyber sex stuff is for me

**James**

Thank God!

Because it’s definitely not for me

**Lily**

You don’t say Jamie…

Anyway

Despite the coffee

I am actually tired

Must be all the excitement

I might try and go to sleep

**James**

Ok

Come over tomorrow night?

So I can put you in a pokeball for realsies?

**Lily**

I’m guessing

That that’s a weird James inuendo

**James**

You know

I want it to be

But I just can’t make it work

**Lily**

As I said before

Ridiculous

I’ll come over tomorrow night

Night J

**James**

Night flower

Love you


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to honest - I'm not sure I like this chapter, I struggled to make it flow like I wanted. So if it disappears that's why!

**A Good Pear**

**Alice**

Sooooo

**Sirius**

??

**Alice**

I’m just gonna come out with it

Apparently

Kingsley made a move last night…

**Sirius**

WTF?

No he didn’t!!

Where the hell did you get that from?

**Alice**

Lils

Said there was some sort of incident

when you were watching War Horse last night

which is SO SAD btw

**Sirius**

Ok

Firstly

Yes oh my god its so sad

Honestly don’t think I’ve ever cried so much in one sitting

Except that time with Remus and Fabian

**Alice**

What time?

**Sirius**

Not important

Secondly

He didn’t make a fucking move!

He threw an arm over my shoulder

that was it

**Alice**

Yeh but apparently Rem went all possessive on his arse

It’s all we can talk about

Here is chez girls this morn

**Sirius**

Of for fucks sake

I bet it is

Just what we need

All you gossiping round the bloody breakfast table

I bet Marlene was delighted

She’s been dying for me to fuck it up ever since we got together

Shes always thought Remus is too good for me

Well fuck her

Re and I are fine

Re and I will _always_ be fine

**Alice**

WOAH!

Where did that come from??

Also Marls has NEVER said that!

**Sirius**

Yeh but you can just tell shes thinking it

Kingsley a mate

And yes I’ve been spending a lot of time with him

but I don’t see why its becoming this big thing

suddenly I’m not allowed other friends?

I feel like I’m being accused of something

and I don’t know what!

**Alice**

Again

Chill Sirius

I’m not accusing you of anything

Tell me what happened?

**Sirius**

We were watching the film

I was upset

It’s a sad film

Kingsley went to give me a cuddle

Just as Rem did too

Rem batted his hand away

It wasn’t big deal

**Alice**

Apparently it was really awkward afterwards

**Sirius**

It’s only the same as James giving me hug

Or Pete

Or you!

**Alice**

Ok ok

Look I shouldn’t have said anything

I was just being nosey

but I always wanted to make sure everything was ok

I know you and Rem have been through it a bit recently

**Sirius**

Yes

We have

And we’ve been really good at talking about things

and not letting things get on top of us

and having all you lot gossiping about something

that wasn’t even a thing

isn’t going to help

Alice

I love Remus

I love him so much

There were times when I never thought I’d be able to love someone in that way

and then he came along

and everything changed

I will _never_ be able to love someone else

the way I love Remus

ever

So even if Kingsley was interested

which he’s not

it’s not like I’d ever act on it

so everyone else can just bug off

**Alice**

You quite finished there love?

**Sirius**

Oh shut up

**Alice**

Want me to tell the others to stop talking about it?

**Sirius**

Yes please

Bloody Prongs

Can’t keep his bloody mouth shut

\------------------------------

**My Ride or Die**

**Siriusly**

Right

So your girlfriend

has been going round telling people

that Kingsley made a move last night

**Jam**

Ah

That might be on me mate

Sorry

**Siriusly**

Yeh I guessed as much

What the fuck James?

**James**

It’s not like I told her anything that didn’t happen!

And you’ve got to admit mate

it was a bit awkward

**Siriusly**

No it wasn’t!

**James**

Sirius

It was

Remus was clearly pissed

And you can’t say he wasn’t

Because I could hear you talking

after you guys went to bed last night

**Siriusly**

Well if you were listening

you would have heard

me telling Re to stop being silly

and that Kingsley is just like that

you know he’s all touchy feely

He’s always hugging people

He gave Remus a hug yesterday

**Jam**

Yeh I know

And that’s exactly what I told Lils

Its not like I made out that he tried to stick his tongue down your throat

**Siriusly**

By all accounts

That’s what the girls are all imagining this morning

**Jam**

Do you think you might be being a bit sensitive about this?

What exactly did Lily say?

**Siriusly**

I told you

That Kingsley made a move last night

**Jam**

Those exact words?

**Siriusly**

That’s what Alice said

**Jam**

Shit

Ok

Well I definitely didn’t use that turn of phrase

I did tell her about the whole arm over shoulder thing

And Re whole ‘Nope’ thing he had going on

but that was it

I’ll talk to her

**Siriusly**

Thank you

**Jam**

You and Moony ok though?

**Siriusly**

We’re fine

This doesn’t go any further

But yes

he was annoyed

but we talked about it

We’re just finding it hard

because we’re not seeing much of each other atm

Need to get this weekend out the way

and things will be back to normal

**Jam**

Yeh ok

That makes sense

And I’m p sure I don’t have to tell you

but you know it’s not you don’t you

It’s Kingsley who’s bothering him

He reeeeally doesn’t appreciate

that he calls you ‘Koals’

Tbh I probs won’t either

If I was him

**Siriusly**

Yeh he said

Not sure what to do about that

It’s just a nickname

**Jam**

I know

Just

Oh I don’t even know

I was going to say be careful

But I don’t even know what of

Anyway I’ll talk to Lily

**Siriusly**

Cheers Prongs

\------------------------------

**The PB to my J**

**Pads**

You awake yet Remusaur?

**Moons**

Just woke up

Minty came for snuggles

and sat on my face

Would have preferred if it was you…

**Pads**

That

Fuck me

That can be arranged

Wish I’d stayed home now!

**Moons**

Where are you?

**Pads**

With K and H

Said we’d grab treat coffees before our lecture

**Moons**

Nice

They both ok?

**Pads**

Yeh

K says hi

**Moons**

Cool

I don’t want to go on about it

but are you going to talk to him?

**Pads**

I mean i don’t especially want to

but if its important to you

then yeh

I will

**Moons**

Oh I don’t know now

I was really pissed last night

but I’ve got over it now

and if you say its fine and not to worry

then its fine and I shouldn’t worry

right?

**Pads**

Right

You promised no more getting jealous

**Moons**

I know

Hard though

When you’re you

And you’re mine

**Pads**

I am yours

I’ll tell him I don’t like Koala Face

**Moons**

Ok

Its bit childish though isn’t it

My boyfriend doesn’t like your nickname for me

**Pads**

It is a bit yeh

and he doesn’t mean anything by it

**Moons**

So you keep saying

I don’t suppose I’ll see much of you today will i?

**Pads**

No ☹

Probably not

But just a couple more days

and the weekend

and we can do something really nice next week

**Moons**

We can have a late Valentines

I can wine and dine you

Pull your chair out and shit like that

Choose a wine you don’t approve of

which I will pronounce horrifically

**Pads**

And I’ll probably be turned on all the same

And I want you

to make good on your promise

to fuck me so hard

I see stars

**Moons**

Christ

Yep

I can do that

\------------------------------

**Private Message**

**Marlene**

I hear you don’t think I like you and Rem together?

**Sirius**

Hello Marlene

How nice to hear from you

I’m very well thank you

**Marlene**

**🙄**

Yeh yeh

Do you really think that?

**Sirius**

A bit yes

**Marlene**

Well don’t!

I’ve never thought you weren’t good enough for him

I actually think you’re really good for him

**Sirius**

Ok

Well thanks

That’s nice to know I suppose

**Marlene**

Don’t be weird about it

Look

I know I was a bit off about the whole you standing him up

that time with Kingsley

but really its none of my business

**Sirius**

Everyone was off with me

I don’t know

I think this is just something that’s in my head

From when we first got together

I know I didn’t exactly go about that in the best way

and you had Opinions on the matter

**Marlene**

Sirius

You and Remus are so much like an old married couple

who are so unbearably in love

I mean honestly it sometimes makes me feel queasy

that I can barely remember how you got together

It feels like you have been together since the beginning of the cosmos

so please get whatever’s in your head out!

**Sirius**

Haha

Ok I’ll try

I do really love him you know

**Marlene**

You don’t say

Oh wait…

**Sirius**

😂

Speak later Marls


	35. Chapter 35

**F.R.I.E.N.D.S**

**Marlene**

Friends

Welshies

Countrymen

We have a proposal

**James**

We’re listening

**Marlene**

Ok so we were thinking

we’re all bit couple central atm

and old V Day is coming up

so how do you fancy a group dins

tonight?

**Alice**

A Palentines of sorts

If you will

**Remus**

Works for me!

Where we going?

**Dorcas**

Thai and cocktails?

**James**

Yaaas

Sign me up

**Sirius**

Ooohhh

This sounds right up my street

but tonight doesn’t really work

too much to do

**Alice**

BOOOOOO

**Dorcas**

BOOOOO

**James**

Hell no

You’re coming even if I have to drag you there

by your perfectly styled hair

**Sirius**

Oi

No-one touches the hair Jam

You know that

Ok ok

I’ll check and see what I can do

**Lily**

Who are you checking with??

**Sirius**

I was going to do some last min prep

with K & H tonight

**Alice**

SAD FACE!

So sad

I can’t even use the emoji

**Marlene**

Ahh no

Man down!

Sort your boy out Rem!

**Pete**

Am I still allowed to come?

**Dorcas**

Umm

Why wouldn’t you be allowed to come please?

**Pete**

You said it was a couples thing

**Marlene**

Pete

If you don’t come

I WILL riot

and it won’t be pretty

its not a couples thing

**Alice**

Palentines Petey

PALentines

Its in the name

**James**

Wormy

We can walk together!

We can have chats on the way!

**Pete**

Oh ok

Yay

😊

**Lily**

I can’t believe

You didn’t think you were invited

What are we going to do with you ‘Tails

**Sirius**

I’ve sacked off the others

I’m now all about the Tom Kha Kai

and whatever their most fluorescent cocktail is

I hope they’ve got one

that has blue curacao in

**Marlene**

Good boy

That’s what we like to hear

**Alice**

HAPPY FACE

**James**

Those glossy tresses

live to see another day

\-----------------------------

**Not Fast, Just Furious**

**Marly**

Rem hunny

You ok?

**Remy**

Yeh not bad

You?

**Marly**

Yes I’m fine

Oh God

We promised Alice we wouldn’t keep going on about it

but I have to

I’d feel like a shitty friend if something was wrong

and I didn’t know

**Remy**

You’re rambling Marls

**Marly**

Yeh I know

I’m thinking how to word it

**Remy**

Preeety sure I know what it’s about

So just say it

**Marly**

Lily said Kingsley tried to

I dunno

She said there was bit of a moment

when he was at yours

with Sirius

and that you were pissed

**Remy**

Thought so

You’re so funny Marly

Yes

There was a bit of a thing

but I’ve talking to S about it

and I need to chill

I was looking too much into it

**Marly**

So all’s good

You’re ok?

**Remy**

All’s good

I mean it’s not brilliant

we’ve hardly seen each other recently

but that’s life isn’t it

and we’re going to have to get used to that anyway

if we’re doing long distance from Sept

**Marly**

Good point actually

Bit crappy though

That you’re missing each other

**Remy**

Yeh

I’m trying not to think about it too much

because when I do I spiral

I just need to trust him

which I do

Its not fair if I don’t

**Marly**

No its not

Has he ever given you any reason not to trust him?

**Remy**

Since we’ve been together?

Nope

Never

**Marly**

There we go

All’s good

**Remy**

He told me he went off at you

He felt really guilty

**Marly**

Bless him

He did a bit yeh

Well not so much to my face

but Alice gave me the jist

We’re cool though

We talked it out

**Remy**

Good

He gets into his head sometimes

**Marly**

Oh man

Don’t we all

I am well aware you know this

But he really loves you you know

Like _really_ loves you

**Remy**

Yeh I know

I really love him too

\------------------------------

**Support Bras**

**Alice**

I don’t like it

**Lily**

Me neither

It feels unnatural

**Dorcas**

Do you think we should intervene?

**Marlene**

100% yes

How?

**Alice**

MOVE NOW MOVE NOW

**Marlene**

We’re so clever

Go us!

**Lily**

Rem looks so confused

Bless his cottons

**Alice**

He will sit next to the love of his love

and enjoy it goddam it!

\------------------------------

**My Ride or Die**

**Siriusly**

Jam

I need to freak out about something

**Jam**

Shit?

You ok?

Who was that on the phone?

Need me to come out?

What me to get Rem to come out?

**Sirusly**

No!

Def don’t tell Re

**Jam**

What’s up

You’re making me nervous

I’m coming out

**Siruisly**

No don’t

Everyone will want to know what’s going on

**Jam**

Ok I won’t

But can you get to it

My leg’s jiggling

Also

Can I eat your last dumpling?

**Siriusly**

Knock yourself out

Ok

That was LEHM

They’re opening an office in Edinburgh

And McGonagall recommended me

**Jam**

Fuck me!

Padfoot!

**Siriusly**

I know

WTF

I mean

If I can pull this off

I’d be able to stay up next year

No long distance

No having to constantly be getting planes and trains

You

Moony

**Jam**

I don’t why you don’t want to tell him?!

He’s going to be made up

I bet he cried

Wait no

Scrap that

I bet YOU cry

**Siriusly**

I feel a bit wobbly already

I don’t want him to get his hopes up

There’s no guarantee that i’ll even get a position

Oh god the pressure on this weekend just got 100 times worse

I mean

A job with LEHM in London was the dream

A job with LEHM in Edinburgh is

I don’t even know what it is

**Jam**

Nirvana?

**Siriusly**

Pretty much

I can’t let him get all excited

If I’m then just going to disappoint him

**Jam**

I don’t think its possible for you to do that

If I was me

I’d tell him

But obv I won’t say anything

**Siriusly**

Thanks Jamie

Fuck

I need a drink

**Jam**

Have ordered you a gin

You better come back in

The girls have done some weird switching seats business

Not entirely sure why

**Siriusly**

OMW

\------------------------------

**My Support Bras**

**Dorcas**

That’s better

I feel much less on edge now

**Alice**

Saaaame

In all seriousness though

Do we think theyre ok?

**Lily**

I wondered that

I actually can’t remember any dinner

like literally since first year

when they didn’t sit next to each other

even before they were together

even when old Fab was still around

**Marlene**

I’m worried

I’m going down to check things out

It’s fine!

They’re holding hands

In Remus’ lap

and there’s some footsie action going on

**Dorcas**

Thank christ

I never thought I’d say it

but I sort of miss the days

of covert hand jobs under the table

**Marlene**

Well…

If its under the table action youre after

Get yourself over here

**Alice**

Awww

You guys🥰 


	36. Chapter 36

**The Marauders**

**Prongs**

Blupin

Are you up?

Blupin

BLUPIN

B

L

U

P

I

N

**Moony**

Christ Prongs

We’re up

Well half of us are

Pads is still soundo

He’s all cuddled up on my chest

**Wormtail**

Ooof my heart

You sound cosy

**Moony**

We are very

He’s so lovely

I’m so lucky

**Prongs**

OMG

My OTP

I can’t

**Moony**

We’ve been together almost 6 months Prongs

**Prongs**

I know

But

**🥰**

**Moony**

Yeh

**Padfoot**

No

YOURE so lovely

**Prongs**

Paddy’s awake!

Morning bb

**Padfoot**

Morning Prongsie

It’s a very good morning

I’m so toasty

Moomin’s always so warm

**Wormtail**

We could hire Moony out

To like

Be a human space heater or something

**Padfoot**

Umm

I think you’ll find

that I’ve taken out an lifetime contract

for Moony heating ltd.

with full exclusivity

**Prongs**

Man you two are being so CUTE this morn

#couplegoals

**Moony**

Hell yeh we are

Did you want something though?

**Prongs**

I did!

Pete’s doing a fry up

You want??

He’s going to do his fried bread surprise

**Padfoot**

Ah maaan

Is the surprise that you’re frying the bread in the bacon and sausage fat?

Because that shit

is other worldly

**Wormtail**

It maaaybe

**Padfoot**

This is possibly the most difficult decision

i’ve had to make to date

On the one hand

ruin these abs with Wormy’s fried bread surprise

which I honestly think I would probs kill for

**Prongs**

Then what are you waiting for?

I can hear it sizzling…

sizzle

sizzle

SIZZLE

**Padfoot**

BUT

on the other hand

Re and I have got to have enough cuddles now

to get us through the weekend

**Moony**

We need to get all the snuggles

three mornings worth

**Prongs**

Hmmm

I see I see

**Wormtail**

This is indeed a difficult predicament

Let Prongs and I converse

You two get cuddling!

**Moony**

Already on it

**Wormtail**

Right

We have sorted out Padfoot’s issue

Prongs would you like to do the honours?

**Prongs**

Why i would Wormtail

Thanking you

We propose

BREAKFAST PICNIC

You two can cuddle in bed

AND eat Petey’s delights

While we Blupin fangirl all over you and chill on a picnic blanket

**Wormtail**

This is your 20 minute warning before the invasion

**Padfoot**

Well this moring keeps getting better and better

Cuddles with my man

Breakfast with my boys

**Moony**

Ooo Jams

You gonna use your new blanket??

**Prongs**

Fuck yeh!

I’d forgotten about that

**Padfoot**

Oh is this the one you got from the National Trust shop?

That rolls up with handles?

**Prongs**

Yup

I know it was expensive

but it was a strategic purchase

An investment if you will

**Moony**

He’s right

Have you felt the thread count on that thing?

and the waterproofed underside

and the tartan pattern is just 👌🏼 

**Wormtail**

I love blankets

\------------------------------

**My Ride or Die**

**Jam**

Just so I know what I’m dealing with

You tell Rem?

**Siriusly**

No

I know I should

but I tried to casually ask last night

what he would think if I got a job in Edinburgh

and his face Prongs

he looked so happy

and IMMEDIATELY began questioning me

and then i'm pretty sure he was looking up flats

when we turned the lights off

**Jam**

Course he did you melt

He loves you

He wants you to stay

He’s just not said anything because he doesn’t want to put you off

Which I remember certain someone else doing…

**Siriusly**

Yeh yeh

I know

I think I’m going to see how this weekend goes

By all accounts I’ll have a pretty solid idea by the end of it

Apparently the CEO doesn’t fuck around if she likes you

**Jam**

Sweet

I reckon we’ll be celebrating Monday

Ooo shall I book somewhere?

We could do fancy!

**Siriusly**

Can’t do Monday

Re and I are having our Valentines aren’t we

**Jam**

Ahh yeh course

Well

We’ll def do something at some point!

**Siriusly**

Don’t get carried away

It might be a total bust

They might hate me

**Jam**

Nah

You’re the mother fucking man

I’m going to make you a playlist

\------------------------------

**Double P**

**Pete**

Ok

So I may have totally imagined this

in which case

PLEASE call me out

Because tbh I hope I’m wrong

BUT

**Prongs**

Did it seem a bit atmospherey this morn?

Yeh

I thought so too

**Pete**

Bugger

I was hoping I was wrong

What do you reckons up?

They seemed proper loved up in the GC before we went in

**Prongs**

And that is why

you shouldn't believe everything you read on socials

Its nothing major I don’t think

just a lot going on

Sirius’ being away this weekend

Rem trying to write that proposal thingy

which sounds godawful

**Pete**

Padfoot does seem proper keyed up about this weekend

I mean

I know it’s a big deal but

I dunno

**Prongs**

It’s a very big opportunity

**Pete**

I feel like you know something

You’re being Shifty McJifty

**Prongs**

Ooohh

I do know something

But I don’t know if I should say

Gimme a sec to ask something

Ok

You CANNOT tell Remus

**Pete**

Okaaaay…

**Prongs**

When Padfoot went to answer his phone yesterday

when we were eating

it was LEHM

They’re opening an office here

and his supervisor has recommended him to them

**Pete**

Shiiit

That’s a big deal

Oh god

Now I’m stressed for him

That is literally his dream right there

**Prongs**

I know

If he gets it he stays here

He’ll only have to go to Paris/London occasionally

**Pete**

He has to tell Moony!

**Prongs**

Hes too scared

He’s worried he’ll be disappointed with him if he doesn’t get it

**Pete**

Well that’s stupid

I not sure Remus could ever be disappointed with him

**Prongs**

Tell me about it

That’s exactly what I said

**Pete**

God those two are the definition of Idiots In Love

**Prongs**

You’re a shrewd man ‘Tails

Wanna go for a drink?

Leave the Idiots In Love in alone for the afternoon

Rem is due back any min

**Pete**

Sounds good

Meet half way and we can walk together?

**Prongs**

Sweet

\------------------------------

**Lupin Family Chat**

**Hope**

Hello my boys. I liked the photo of the two of you two that James sent over this morning. 

**Remus**

Oh god

What photo?

MUM!

What photo??

**Hope**

****

**Remus**

Oh ok

That's ok then

**Lyall**

Were you expecting it to be something unsavoury there Remus?

**Remus**

No!

Maybe

Why is it black and white?

**Hope**

When I was trying to make it my screensaver I pressed something and the colour disappeared. I'm not sure how to get it back. 

**Sirius**

Black and white it very on trend Hope

You're a trend setter

**Hope**

It does look nice doesn't it. Have you had your haircut Sirius love?

**Sirius**

No?

I think it just looks short because of the angle

**Hope**

Well your longer hair is lovely but I think you'd look very smart with short hair too. You're such a good looking lad.

**Sirius**

Thank you

Do you think i should cut then?

I’ve thought about it before

**Remus**

No!

Don't you dare 

**Lyall**

Nice to have something to hold onto, hey Rem 😉

**Remus**

Da!

What is wrong with you?

Why are you like this??

**Hope**

Oh Remus John, we've said before, there's no need to be embarrassed about the things that you enjoy sexually. I recently read an article about something called Shibari. I thought it was very artistic.

**Remus**

I

What were you reading??

**Lyall**

You're mother says an article but really it was a saucy book that you Auntie Joan lent her. 

**Remus**

Of course it was

Well

This has been an scintillating as always

but i'm about to go into the co-op

**Hope**

Ok dear, have a good afternoon. We'll FaceTime later on so we can speak to Sirius before you head off to Paris

**Sirius**

Great, we're around all afternoon I think

aren't we Re?

**Remus**

Yes I think so

Do you want anything from co-op cariad?

They've got that dark chocolate you like on offer

**Sirius**

Ooo yes please

\------------------------------

**Private Message**

**Da**

Cariad. You’re turning into your father 

**Remus**

Oh shut up

**Da**

I love you Remus. I'm so very proud of you and Sirius.

**Remus**

Thanks Da

I love you too

And really, my main goal in life is to become as good a man as you are

Can't wait to speak to you later

\------------------------------

**Private Message**

_**Kingsley**_ renamed the group _**Kings & Koala's**_

**Kingsley**

What do you think?

**Sirius**

Haha

very nice

**Kingsley**

Can't take full credit

Hes thought of it

**Sirius**

We should think of a name for her

**Kingsley**

We should

I tried badass hockey bitch

but it was a bit of a mouthful

**Sirius**

**😂**

**Kingsley**

Anyway

Last chance saloon tonight

It'll be early to bed tomorrow

Want to come to H's for a final go through

we can run through our presentations for each other

**Sirius**

Yeh maybe

What time were you thinking?

Am speak to the in laws at some point this afto

Don't want to miss them

**Kingsley**

We can work around you then

Text when you're leaving yours

**Sirius**

Ok will do

Sounds good

**Kingsley**

Oh I can try my suit on for you

Get an honest man's opinion

Although I will not be open to negative feedback

i look shit hot

**Sirius**

Course you do mate

I'll see you in a bit


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Saturday!

**The PB to my J**

**Moons**

Where are you??

**Pads**

On campus love

How’s your head?

**Moons**

Yeh its ok now

Tablets did the trick

Completely knocked me out though

I didn’t hear you come in last night

or leave this morning!

**Pads**

That’s because I didn’t

**Moons**

Why??

I told you it doesn’t matter if you wake me up

I’d rather that you having to sleep alone in your room

**Pads**

No I mean I didn’t come home at all

**Moons**

Umm

What?

**Pads**

Ending up sleeping on Hes’ sofa

I totally crashed about half 10

I didn’t even realise I was that tired!

**Moons**

Poor Pads

How’s your back?

You always get back ache if you have sleep anywhere but a bed

**Pads**

It’s not tooooo bad

Reckon it would be worse if I’d had to share with Kings all night

but he said he fucked off to bed about midnight

**Moons**

Oh ok

Nice that you had company on the sofa

**Pads**

Haha

Not sure I could have been classed as company

According to Kingsley I was snoring like a pig

**Moons**

You don’t snore

I would know

As it’s me who sleep with you every night

Apart from last night it apparently

**Pads**

Remus

**Moons**

What?

Just stating the facts

Love that my boyfriend spent the night cuddled up

with another man

Just what I needed to hear this morning

**Pads**

Don’t be like this

Please

**Moons**

You could have texted or something

At least then I would have known where you were

**Pads**

You just said you were asleep!!

And I deliberately decided not to text you

because I knew you had a migraine

and I didn’t want to disturb you!

**Moons**

Ergh whatever

Let’s not fall out about it

**Pads**

I wasn’t the one who started it

**Moons**

Whatever

Sorry

**Pads**

Its fine

I should have texted

Not that you would have read it until the morning

Anyway

It’s not like I’m loving it either

I’ve got to spend all day on campus feeling gross

**Moons**

Hate that feeling

We could have a bath bomb bath when you get home

**Pads**

Yeh

That would be good

**Moons**

Want to have lunch together?

**Pads**

Oh that sounds so nice

but I’m going to be up here all day I think

**Moons**

I can come up and meet you

I’m literally just sat here watching tele with Prongs

I’ve got nothing on today

**Pads**

No it’s ok

You can have a chilled day with Prongs

**Moons**

But I want to

It’s not like Prongs is going to mind

**Pads**

Well actually

I said that I’d meet Kingsley for lunch

to go over a couple of things we didn’t get round to last night

**Moons**

Right

So essentially what you’re saying is

that you’d rather have lunch with Kingsley

Kingsley who you spend the night with

and saw less than a couple of hours ago

than me

**Pads**

That’s not what I’m saying at all!!

**Moons**

Well that’s what it sounds like

**Pads**

Don’t be a twat Remus

I don’t know why we keep having to go over this

**Moons**

I’m not the one being a twat

I’ve hardly seen you for weeks

Because you’re always ‘working’ with him

**Pads**

I really don’t like the fact

that you put working

in inverted commas

What else would we be doing??

**Moons**

I don’t know

Why don’t you tell me?

\------------------------------

The door shut with a bang, the noise reverberating round the small entrance way as Sirius shoved it harder than necessary. He pulled off his jacket, dropping it onto the floor as James’ voice floated through the partially closed door down the hall,

‘Padfoot? That you?’

Sirius didn’t reply, striding into the living room and stopping in front of Remus who was sandwiched between James and Pete on the sofa and pointedly not looking at him.

‘Umm, you alright mate?’ James asked tentatively, peering up at Sirius and then shooting a sideways glance at Remus.

Sirius ignored him, ‘We need to talk. Now.’

Remus looked up at him, eyebrows raised, ‘Do we?’

‘Yes!’ Sirius felt the anger bubbling up as Remus rolled his eyes and casually made to get up off the sofa. 

‘Fine. _Your_ room or _my_ room?’ Remus said in a bored sounding voice, walking past Sirius towards the stairs.

‘Oh for fucks sake,’ Sirius hissed under his breath, following in Remus’ wake as he began to climb the stairs, leaving James and Pete looking at each other, bewildered. 

They continued along the landing in silence, turning into Remus’ room. Remus heading for the bed, where he sat down and spread his arms out dramatically, ‘Go on then Padfoot, the floor is yours.’

‘Oh my God,’ Sirius muttered, closing the door behind him and taking a couple of steps forwards, ‘I can’t be dealing with this.’

‘Well this is what you’ve got, take it or leave it.’

‘Fine,’ Sirius started, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, ‘I’m just going to say it all now Rem, because I refuse to leave for Paris with us like this. I refuse to even go to Paris with us like this and therein lies the problem.’ He paused, waiting for Remus to say something but when he realised nothing was going to be forthcoming, he continued, ‘This is my dream job Remus. This is everything I’ve worked towards for the past 4 years. Do you know how difficult it is to get a job in translation? How competitive it is? Do you know how many people would _kill_ for this opportunity? And if you think I’m going to throw it away because my boyfriend’s jealous of,’

‘I’m not fucking jealous!’ Remus interrupted before falling silent again.

‘Well you’re something!’

‘I don’t know Padfoot. Perhaps it’s something to do with the fact that you’re going away tomorrow, for a whole weekend, when it’s fucking Valentine’s Day!’

‘I thought you didn’t care about that shit! I asked you, more than once, and both times you said it was fine!’

‘I didn’t care! I didn’t care until it turned out that you were going to Paris, which you conveniently forgot to tell me by the way, with another bloke who so clearly fancies you and who you’ve been spending all of your time with recently!’

‘Oh my God!’ Sirius shouted and actually stamped his foot, ‘How many times do I have to tell you that he doesn’t fancy me? I actually don’t know how else to say it. He. Doesn’t. Fancy. Me. And even if he did, what exactly do you think is going to happen? Tell me Remus, what is it that you think I’m going to do?’

The silence that followed seemed deafening and it was only then Sirius realised that he must have been shouting. Remus stayed sat on the bed, eyes flickering everywhere but Sirius until he finally muttered something that Sirius couldn’t make out under his breath.

‘What?’ Sirius said irritably, ‘You know I can’t hear you.’

‘I said,’ Remus spoke slowly, ‘That he does fancy you.’

Sirius threw up his hands, ‘You know what Remus. Fine. Yes, he does fancy me.’ Remus looked at him, anger written all over his face, eyes glinting dangerously and opened his mouth to say something but Sirius didn’t give him a chance, ‘He fancies me so much that’s he’s spent the last fortnight with his tongue in Hestia’s mouth.’

Remus’ eyes went wide, shock clearly visible on his face as he opened his mouth and then closed it again, clearly at a loss of what to say before settling on, ‘Oh.’

‘Yes. Oh.’ Sirius slumped down onto the desk chair before getting back up again as Minty began to scratch on the bedroom door, obviously wanting to be let out, ‘We’ve scared her.’ 

He opened the door and she slunk out into the darkened corridor. Not bothering to close it again he made he way towards the bed and sat down next to Remus.

‘You never told me they were together,’ Remus said finally.

‘I didn’t think I had too. It’s not like it was a big secret and I didn’t think it was any of our business. But the thing is Remus, I don’t think that’s the problem anymore is it?’

Remus made a noise at the back of his throat, his hand moving towards Sirius’ thigh, before seemingly changing his mind and tucking a hand under each arm.

Sirius sighed, ‘Remus, what’s happening?’

Remus shrugged, ‘I don’t know. I was worried about you going to Paris, but I guess I don’t have to be anymore.’

Sirius narrowed his eyes slightly, ‘Why?’

‘Because now I know nothing’s going to happen.’

‘I still don’t understand what you thought _was_ going to happen,’ Sirius dragged a hand down his face, ‘I’m so confused.’

‘Come on Sirius, you’re not stupid,’ Remus began quietly, ‘What do you think I thought was going to happen?’

‘I honestly can’t believe I have to say this. Did you really think I was going to cheat on you?’

Remus snapped, standing up suddenly so he was towering over Sirius, ‘Paris, Valentine’s Day, with another bloke who I thought fancied you and’

‘And what?’ Sirius shouted, standing up and shoving Remus in the chest so he stumbled backwards, ‘Is that really what you think of me? Is it Remus? That I can’t keep it in my pants for one weekend? That if Kingsley had tried it on that I would have gone along with it? Had a fucking sordid weekend away in Paris? I can’t believe you! Is that how much you value this relationship?’ His voice cracked, ‘Is that how much you value me?’

‘I don’t know Black!’ Remus shouted back; Sirius looked as though Remus had slapped him. He took a deep breath before lowering his voice, ‘All you’ve said to me over the past few weeks is ‘don’t worry Remus,’ it wasn’t exactly reassuring! I love you so much Sirius, so much but recently I don’t know, it felt like you, aargh!’ He ran a shaking hand through his hair, ‘I mean it didn’t take you 30 seconds to try and get into my ex-boyfriend’s pants when we first got together. You’ve got form.’ He paused, jaw clenched, ‘I suppose it was good while it lasted, I’m surprised we managed this long.’

Sirius took a step back eyes wide, hurt written all over his face as he furiously wiped at his eyes, ‘Right. Well.’ He turned and made his way towards the door. 

‘Sirius,’ Remus said sounding desperate, ‘Wait, please! I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have, shit!’ 

Sirius stopped, twisting round to look at him, the tears now streaming steadily down his face, ‘Fuck you Lupin,’ he said bitterly and he disappeared out the door, leaving Remus, who collapsed back onto the bed, hands over his face as he let out a sob.


	38. Chapter 38

**Jily**

**James**

I know you said you and the girls were having a girls day

but any chance me and Pete could come over?

**Lily**

Yeah sure

Everything ok?

**James**

Sirius and Remus

are having a monumental row

We feel a bit awkward listening

**Lily**

Shit

What’s happened??

**James**

We’ve got no idea!

They were all chipper when we saw them yesterday

then Sirius went off to do some stuff for the weekend

and Rem went to bed early cos he thought he had a migraine coming

Then just now

P, R & I

were sitting watching tele

and Sirius comes home

looking furious

and just says to Remus

‘We need to talk.’

**Lily**

Oh god

This doesn’t sound good

Can you hear what they’re saying?

**James**

No

We went to Pete’s room

and we turned the music up

tbh I’d normally just go in

and see what’s up

but I dunno

sounds serious

**Lily**

I’m worried now!

I’m trying to think what could be up

James?

What’s happening?

**James**

Sorry flower

Sirius just left

Remus is in his room

and he’s locked the door

he won’t answer me

What do I do??

**Lily**

Oh Jamie ☹

I know you want to go in

but if he’s locked the door you need to respect that

**James**

Lils he’s sobbing!

He sounds devastated

I’m going to put a note under his door

Fuck

And I don’t know where Padfoot has gone

he won’t answer his phone

God knows what sort of state he’s in

**Lily**

A note is a good idea

Just let him know you’re there

If he wants to talk

Al has just said Sirius is coming here

**James**

Thank fuck

Ok

Let me know when he gets there?

**Lily**

Course

I’m sure everything will be fine

Couples fight

They’ve done well not to so far

**James**

You’re right

I need to stop panicking

I’m gonna make Rem a tea

Speak in a bit

Love you

**Lily**

Love you too

\------------------------------

**My Support Bras**

**Lils**

Ali I’m really sorry to interrupt

but James is going spare

how’s Sirius doing?

**Als**

I’m not gonna lie girls

It looks bad

I mean he’s not said anything

but he’s just curled up on my bed and cried for the past hour

I’m just sort of sitting with him

for when he’s ready to talk

I feel totally useless

**Marls**

No don’t

You’re doing exactly the right thing

If he wanted to talk he would

Just let him know you’re there for him

Do you think I should text Remus?

**Lils**

Yeh maybe?

J says he won’t come out of his room

He was crying too apparently

Oh gaawwd girls

I’m worried

**Marls**

Me too!

**Dorky**

Same

I’m going to make tea Al

Want me to bring you both one?

**Als**

Yeh please

Maybe just leave it outside the door though?

**Dorky**

Yeh course

I’m sad

**Lils**

**☹**

It’ll be ok

I mean this is Remus and Sirius we’re talking about

**Marls**

I can’t believe I’m saying this but

Do you think they’ve broken up?

**Als**

NO

They can’t have done

Literally

Just

**Dorky**

If they’ve broken up

what hope have the rest of us got?

**Als**

Essentially yeh

**Marls**

I mean I knew they’d been bickering about stuff

but I had no idea that this was on the cards

What could have happened?

**Lils**

Please don’t hate me for suggesting it

but

it’s not something horrid

like with Kingsley or anything is it?

**Dorky**

Shit

The arm around the shoulder thing

Oh god now I feel SO bad for fueling the fire with that

**Als**

Yeh but what could have happened?

I mean Kingsley’s with Hes isn’t he

**Marls**

Is he??

**Als**

Yeh

They got together really recently

Me and Frank saw them out yesterday afternoon

**Marls**

Well I did not know that!

I wonder if Remus did

**Als**

Who knows

**Lils**

You know James said that Kingsely was just a really tactile person

Always hugging people are shit

I was like yeh yeh whatever

And essentially told him to watch him

**Dorky**

How were you to know though

It WAS a weird situation

Ergh this is fucked up

I’m sure it’s just a fight

they’ll make up and everything will be fine

**Als**

Sirius just said Remus broke up with him

**Marls**

Fuck.

\------------------------------

**Not Fast, Just Furious**

**Marly**

Hey Rem

Not really sure what to say

but just

I’m here if you want to chat

like anytime

even if its in the middle of the night because you can’t sleep

I love you lots

I’m here when/if you’re ready to talk

**Remy**

I really fucked up Marlene

I don’t think I can fix this

\------------------------------

**Alternate group chat**

****

**_Marlene_ ** _added **James, Pete, Lily Alice & Dorcas **to the group_

**Marlene**

How’s Remus doing lads?

**James**

The same

He let me in about 20 mins ago

he was as white as a sheet

didn’t say much

I just gave him a hug

**Pete**

I hate this

How’s Sirius Alice?

**Alice**

Well he’s stopped crying

He hasn’t really told me anything

Just that they had a fight

and Remus told him it was good while it lasted

**James**

Shit

All Rem said to me was that he fucked up

**Marlene**

Yeh that’s what I got too

and he doesn’t know how to fix it

**Lily**

Right

What’s our game plan?

What should we do?

**James**

Nothing

Our game plan is to do nothing

Just be there for them

If and when they want to talk

**Pete**

I agree

We can’t meddle with this one

**Alice**

Should we not at least try and find out what happened?

I want to help but I can’t if I don’t know whats going on

**Lily**

Yeh

I hate to think that they’re both so upset

It might be something that’s an easy fix

They just need someone to point that out

**Marlene**

Remus saying it was good while it lasted

Doesn’t sound 100% like they’ve broken up

They need to talk about this!

**James**

No

I’m serious girls

I agree they need to talk about it

but this is something they’ve got to sort out themselves

We can’t get involved

We’ll end up taking sides

and that’s not going to help anyone

**Dorky**

This is the worst

What could have happened though?

**James**

We can’t speculate either

When they’re ready they’ll tell us

Fingers crossed its something that’s got blown out of proportion

Remus felt poorly yesterday so was probs feeling off today

and Sirius is stressed because of the weekend

Hopefully they’ll talk when he comes home

It’ll all be fine

I’m sure of it

**Marlene**

God I hope you’re right James

I can’t bear it if it’s not

\------------------------------

**James**

It’s not all fine!

Its like 100 times worse than I expected

They won’t talk to each other

**Pete**

Like literally at all!

**Alice**

Oh jesus

This is not good

**Lily**

This is not the news I wanted to hear Jamie!

**James**

Remus won’t come out of his room

and Sirius won’t go in

**Pete**

The only time he went in

was to get Minty off the end of Rem’s bed

and take her into his room

**James**

And that just made Remus cry

And then I could hear Sirius’ crying

I’m pretty sure he only took the bloody cat because he can’t sleep alone anymore

Oh god

I think my heart is breaking

My boys ☹


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to level with you - this is going to be angsty for a little bit longer but I would just like to preface this chapter with a reminder that I am very much still #teamhappyending

**Alternate Group Chat**

**Dorcas**

How goes it in chez lads?

**Pete**

No change I’m afraid

they both look absolutely knackered

its obvi they didn’t sleep last night

**Dorcas**

Damn

I was hoping to wake up to good news

**Pete**

Same tbh

but nope

no progress

**James**

I’m not actually sure about that

first thing this morn

when I came back from my run

Rem was just sort of stood outside Padfoot’s door

I wondered if he was maybe about to knock or something

**Alice**

Well that’s good!

They need to get talking

and sooner rather than later would be preferable please boys

**James**

Yeh I know

He didn’t go in though

he came into the kitchen like 20 seconds after

unless it was because Sirius wouldn’t let him in

**Lily**

Oh don’t say that

☹

**Marlene**

How is Sirius doing this morning anyway?

What time’s he going?

**James**

I’m giving him a lift to the airport at 1

his flights half 2

**Marlene**

Ok cool

Its just

I was going to like

Say good luck and stuff in the group chat?

Like we would normally do

But I don’t know

**Lily**

No we should

We can’t let them falling out

and please note I have gone for ‘falling out’

rather than ‘breaking up’

because NO THANK YOU

stop us from doing what we would normally do

**Pete**

Good call Mrs P

**Marlene**

Ok

I’m gonna do it

\------------------------------

**F.R.I.E.N.D.S**

**Marlene**

Siriusssssss

GOOD LUCK THIS WEEKEND!

**Alice**

They’re going to love you!

I mean who doesn’t

**Pete**

**☝🏼**

I’m aware I’m going to see you like 100 more times before you leave

and therefore am peaking waaaaay too early

but GOOD LUCK

**Dorcas**

Go on Sirius!  
Go and sparkle like the star you are

**Lily**

Ahem

*Ecrase le*

That’s right

I google translated ‘Smash it!’

Just for you

**Sirius**

Thanks everyone

Although Lils

You have basically just told me to smash something

as in

throw it on the floor type thing

**Lily**

Oh what should I have said?

**Sirius**

Umm

I can’t really think of a direct translation

Something like

Allons-y!

Would work

Like ‘Let’s go!’

**Lily**

And that is why

You are indeed

Going to smash it

**Alice**

Ahhhh

I see what you did there

Very nice

Very nice

**Lily**

Why thank you

**James**

Padfoot doesn’t need any luck

Because he’s the MAN

Jobs already in the bag

Celebration dins next week gang?

**Marlene**

Well up for that

**Dorcas**

Saaaaaame

**Remus**

Good luck Sirius

**Pete**

All the celebration dinners

**Alice**

We can drink overpriced wine

in honour of your brilliance

**James**

Alice!

YAS

\------------------------------

**Alternate Group Chat**

**Lily**

Soooo

**Alice**

Yeh I know

I sort of wished he hadn’t said anything now

**Lily**

Me too

I didn’t like it

I never thought I’d miss all their dirty inuendo

and I do not enjoy the whole actual name thing

its not natural

I want babe

and Pads

and Big Moomin

and Remusaur

**Pete**

That pause

I swear it was the longest wait of my life

I was so sure Padfoot was going to say something

**Dorcas**

I know

I was like

This is it

This is the start

but nope

though well saved ‘Tails

**James**

I just walked past the bathroom

and R is just standing in front of the mirror

running is fingers over his tattoo

**Marlene**

Oh my god James

Break my heart why don’t you

**James**

I’m sorry!

I don’t know what to do

And I hate it!

\-----------------------------

**Lupin Family Chat**

**Hope**

I hope you have safe travels today Sirius cariad. How exciting to be going to Paris! I hope the weekend if as successful as you deserve it to be

**Sirius**

Thanks Hope

Just getting my last few bits together

**Lyall**

Just be yourself son, they’d be mad not to offer you something. Here’s to working in translation!

**Sirius**

Cheers Lyall

Fingers crossed

It would be good

**Hope**

We’ll be thinking of you. Perhaps you could send us a few updates if you have time, it would be nice to hear how you’re getting on.

**Sirius**

Yeh sure

**Lyall**

I bet Remus is excited to take you to the airport. Remember when you were little Remus, how much you used to love airports. We used to take him to Cardiff sometimes at the weekends, not to go anywhere, just because he loved airports. We had to stand and drink overpriced coffee and pay extortionate parking charges.

**Sirius**

Haha

I didn’t know that

Remus can’t take me today though

He’s got an economics lecture

**Remus**

I’m meeting my PhD tutor to go over a few things

**Sirius**

Oh yeh

That’s what I meant

Sorry brain’s a bit frazzled

**Hope**

Ok dear, we better not keep you. Let you boys say your goodbyes. I bet you’ll miss each other this weekend, but you’ll be back together before you know it

**Lyall**

Take care Sirius, stay safe. We’ll speak to you both when you’re back.

\------------------------------

_Incoming call from **Da**_

****

Hi Da, everything ok?

**Yes Remus all’s fine here**

**but it’s not there is it?**

Umm, what do you mean?

**Why don’t you tell me**

I don’t know what you want me to say Da

Everythings fine

**Do you want to talk about it**

**Remus?**

Oh Dad

I’ve done something really stupid

**Right ok**

**Well let’s have it then**

**We can’t fix it unless we know what we’re dealing with**

How did you

How did you even realise something’s happened?

**Remus**

**Your mother has had your timetable up on the fridge since September**

**I know you don’t have an economics lecture today**

**and I also know that you wouldn’t miss taking Sirius to the airport**

Oh

Ok

Oh god Dad

I’ve really fucked it up

Me and Sirius

We’ve had a fight

And I mean it was a proper fight

and I got so het up

and

Oh God

I was a complete bastard

And I don’t know what to do

**Ok son**

**Calm down**

**I know you’re upset**

**But getting yourself into a state isn’t going to help us sort this out is it**

I’m trying!

The things I said though

I don’t think he’ll ever forgive me

**Come on Rem**

**I’m sure it’s not that bad**

**Why don’t you tell me what you said**

**And we’ll see what we can do**

**Start from the beginning**

Ok

Ok

Well

You know how he’s been working with that translation group

To prepare for this weekend?

**Yes**

There’s this bloke in the group

and I convinced myself that he had a thing for Sirius

I don’t even know why

Sirius told me multiple times not to worry

But I don’t know

I just couldn’t help it

**And you were worried about this lad?**

Sort of?

Argh

I don’t know

Well I do know

Basically I was jealous

And when we were fighting

I essentially told Sirius that I was expecting him to cheat on me this weekend

**Oh Remus!**

I know I know

And I brought up the whole Fabian thing

that happened before we got together

and then I told him I was surprised we lasted this long

and I just hate myself

**Ok**

**This is worse than I was expecting if I’m truly honest with you Remus**

**Have you spoken to Sirius?**

No

I almost did this morning

But I chickened out

I can’t bear him telling me that it’s over

i can’t 

Dad I love him so much

and I fucked it up

**I think there’s a few things to think about here Remus**

**Did you mean what you said?**

**That you thought he was going to be unfaithful?**

No not really

I was just pissed off

And we were shouting

and it just came out

and then the thing about it being good while it lasted

I can’t stop it going round in my head

**Yes well**

**It was a very hurtful thing to say**

**I’m not surprised that Sirius is upset**

**But I also appreciate that you were anxious about things**

**Had you talked to him about them previously?**

Yeh

But all he kept saying was don’t worry

But I couldn’t help it

And I just feel like we’re been really falling apart these past few weeks

I mean we’re hardly seen each other

And I just

Oh god dad

I called him Black and everything

I’m such a bastard

I don’t deserve someone like him

**Do not say things like that Remus John**

**You’re not a bastard**

**You’re a young man who’s head over heels**

**Who’s let his heart run away with him and who cares deeply for Sirius**

**Do you need to get a glass of water?**

No I’m ok

**Go and have a drink of water Remus**

Ok

**Feeling calmer?**

Yeh a bit

**Right**

**So you haven’t spoken to Sirius?**

No

**And he’s leaving in what?**

**About half an hour?**

Yeh

**You are going to speak to him before he goes**

**The Remus I know would not let his boyfriend head off on such an important weekend**

**Without making some headway towards ammends**

**Ok?**

Ok

What should I say though?

**I can’t tell you that annwyl**

**This needs to come from you**

**Remus**

**You can’t let one fight define your worth**

**You are just as deserving of Sirius as he if of you**

**But you are the one who needs to take the first step here**

**Hearing that your partner doesn’t trust you is a huge betrayal**

But

**EVEN if it was just said in anger**

Yeh

Yeh you’re right

I’m sorry for crying dad

**Why are you sorry?**

**Crying is very healthy reaction to an upset**

**I’d be worried if you weren’t crying**

**Now go and speak to your boyfriend before he leaves**

**We’ll catch up later**

Ok dad

Thanks

**I’m always here Remus**

**I love you very much**

**Sirius too**

I love you too Da

\------------------------------

‘Sirius come on! Kingsley and Hestia are outside!’ James shouted from the living room, pulling a worn hoodie over his head and rooting around in the bowl on the coffee table for the car keys.

‘I’m coming, I’m coming,’ Sirius huffed, hurrying into the room, a brown holdall slung over one shoulder and his portfolio held tight in his spare hand, ‘What time is it?’

‘Nearly one,’ James said straightening up, ‘You all ready? Got everything?’

‘Yeh I think so,’ Sirius nodded, ‘Just want to get on with it now.’ He looked over his shoulder towards the doorway and paused for a moment, looking like he was listening for something before turning back to James, ‘Shall we go then?’

‘Yep,’ James answered, ‘There’s time to grab you all a coffee on the way, oh,’ he stopped abruptly as Remus appeared in the doorway, red eyed and pale. ‘Umm, alright Rem?’ he asked carefully.

‘Oh, umm yeh,’ Remus said, not looking at him, ‘Sirius, I know you probably don’t want to and that’s fine but er, could I…’ he trailed off, pulling the sleeves of his jumper down over his hands, eyes flickering over the room, not settling on anything.

‘What is it Remus?’ Sirius’ voice was cold, ‘We’re going to late and _Kingsley and Hestia_ are waiting outside.’

‘Oh ok, never mind,’ Remus said, and turned to make his way back out the door. 

James gestured wildly at Sirius who shook his head furiously and mouthed something James couldn’t make out, ‘Wait Rem,’ James called after him and Sirius groaned. He turned to look at Sirius, giving him a pointed look before saying, ‘I’m going to get Kings and Hes sorted in the car, see you in a min,’ and he disappeared out the front door.

The two boys stood in awkward silence for a moment until Remus took a step forwards, ‘I just wanted to say good luck this weekend, tis all. I really hope it goes well.’

‘Yeh, well me too,’ Sirius replied, ‘Dream job and all remember.’

Remus nodded and Sirius turned to leave, hoisting his bag up higher on his shoulder.

‘Sirius! Don’t go yet, please.’

Sirius turned to face him once more, ‘What do you want Remus?’ he sounded exhausted, ‘I just want to go and get this fucking weekend over with.’

‘I’m sorry!’ Remus blurted loudly, ‘Sirius I’m so sorry. Please, you have to believe me!’

‘Do I?’ Sirius’ voice was harsh, ‘I have to believe you? You mean like all the times you believed me?’

‘I know, I know! It was such a stupid thing to say and I didn’t mean it. I really didn’t mean it, it just sort of came out, I was tired and pissed off and oh god, I called you Black, and just I’m an idiot.’

Remus looked miserable, tears welling up in the corners of his eyes, mirroring tears in Sirius’ eyes which were beginning to track down his cheeks, ‘I love you,’ his voice cracked, ‘I love you so much Pads, I’m so sorry.’

‘Yeh,’ Sirius voice was almost a whisper, ‘I know you do.’ And he turned and walked out the front down, shutting it quietly behind him.

\------------------------------

**The PB to my J**

**Pads**

~~I love you too~~


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my best but i'm trying not to keep you waiting toooo long!

**My Ride or Die**

**Siriusly**

We’re here

No bother

Can you tell Remus

**Jam**

Ah great!

Yeh I will

Hotel nice?

**Siriusly**

Very

Huge bath

**Jam**

You love a bath!

**Siriusly**

That I do

**Jam**

How you feeling?

**Siriusly**

How do you think?

Like shit

**Jam**

Oh

I meant how you feeling about the weekend etc

but I’m here if you want to talk about whatever

**Siriusly**

I don’t know

He was supposed to be it James

and now its over

What the fuck was he on?

**Jam**

Paddy

I am 100% here for you

and if I can help in any way then I will

but I’m just going to put this out there

I love you

You’re my brother in everything but blood

but Remus is my best friend too

I can’t take sides

**Sirius**

But he ended it James!

He told me he thought I would cheat on him

and then ended it

**Jam**

Shit

Did he really say it was over?

**Sirius**

Yes

**Jam**

So he said the actual words

‘I want to break up’ ?

**Sirius**

Well

No

Not those actual words

He said he was surprised we’d lasted as long as we had

**Jam**

And nothing else?

**Sirius**

Well he tried to take it back afterwards

but he’d already said it hadn’t he

and I see you’re conveniently ignoring the whole

he said I thought I was going to cheat on him

**Jam**

I don’t know Padfoot

You know what it likes when you let your mouth run away with you

you say things you don’t mean

**Sirius**

He wouldn’t have said it if he hadn’t been thinking about it

But he gave me no forewarning

Nothing!

I didn’t even know we had a problem!

**Jam**

Really?

**Sirius**

No!

What the hell James

**Jam**

Look

Let me play devils advocate here a minute

You’re saying this fight came from no-where

But I don’t think that’s true

**Sirius**

Right

Well you’ve clearly got an opinion on this

so lets have it

**Jam**

Not if you’re going to be like that I’m not

I’m here for you

but I only want to get involved if you want me too

I’m not going to fall out with you

**Sirius**

Yeh

Ok

Sorry

I’m just so sad Jamie

**Jam**

Oh Sirius

I know

Remus is sad too

**Sirius**

I hate that

I hate that he’s sad

I miss him

and it’s only been a day

**Jam**

Ok but hear me then

You’ve been spending a lot of time with Kingsley

Who’s great

He’s suuuuper friendly

but also a keen bean who has been quite on it re: you translation stuff

so you’ve been meeting up loads

and Remus has been worried

**Sirius**

Yes but I told him NOT to worry

SO MANY TIMES

**Jam**

Yes I know

Oh Goooooddd

I don’t know how to put it in words

I’m gonna have to be blunt

What Remus said was proper shit

but also really not like him

Fair?

**Sirius**

I suppose

**Jam**

He clearly got himself so worked up

about the whole situation

Did you ever actually sit down

and like talk about what was bothering him?

**Sirius**

Yes!  
Sort of

**Jam**

Those are two different answers

**Sirius**

Well we talked about him not having to worry

but he kept coming back to it

**Jam**

There’s your red flag

You telling him not to be worried

was obviously not working

**Sirius**

That’s not my fault though

I can’t get into his head and change that

**Jam**

You absolutely can

Sirius

Imagine in September

Remus meets some bloke doing his PhD

who he begins to spend all his time with

who’s funny

and good looking

and has a lot in common with him

and over a couple of weeks

it seems as though Remus spends more time with this bloke

than he does with you

How would you feel?

**Sirius**

He’s made a new friend

I would be very happy for him

**Jam**

Nope

**Sirius**

I would hate it

**Jam**

Yep

See where I’m going with this?

**Sirius**

I do

Don’t appreciate it btw

Fuck

**Jam**

I am definitely not saying

that Remus handled this well

because fuck me that boy knows how to self sabotage

but

**Sirius**

I just didn’t realise that it was such a big deal

I love him

I’ve never loved anyone before

and I honestly can’t imagine loving anyone else

So I suppose I just figured he knew that

**Jam**

Oh thank fuck

You have no idea how much relief

you saying I love him

present tense

brings me

And he does know that

He just needed some reassurance

Telling him not to worry repeatedly

wasn’t cutting it

**Sirius**

Yeh

And I accept that I should have paid more attention

and listened to him

and we should have fucking talked me

always with the fucking talking

I really thought we were getting there with that

But I’m still really angry

**Jam**

I know

And you have every right to be

He knows he’s fucked up

I’m guessing he was trying to apologise before we left?

**Sirius**

Yes

I’m not ready to hear it though

I mean

That idea that he doesn’t trust me

Do you know how shit that’s made me feel?

**Jam**

It can’t imagine

**Sirius**

I don’t want to lose him

But in reality

Do I really want to be with someone

Who doesn’t trust me?

Anyway I better go

Thank you though

Although I still don’t now where to go from here

**Jam**

That’s ok

You will

And I’ll be here

For both of you

Have a good evening Padfoot

**Sirius**

Thanks Jamie

Speak tomorrow

\------------------------------

**Double P**

**Prongs**

You with Rem??

**Pete**

Yeh

Made him come for a walk with me

he was just sitting on the end of his bed

looking sad

How was your run?

**Prongs**

Eh it was ok

Wasn’t really feeling it

**Pete**

Heard anything else from Padfoot?

**Prongs**

Nah

Rem said anything?

**Pete**

A few bits

Says he called Sirius ‘Black’

he’s proper beating himself up about it

**Prongs**

Yeh that’s pretty low

But I get it

When you’re angry the filter goes

**Pete**

That’s what I said

**Prongs**

I mean you can’t do much else can you

Anyway

What our plan for VDay with him?

**Pete**

You carry on mate

I can keep Moony company

I’d rather he wasn’t on his own

He’ll spiral

**Prongs**

You sure?

**Pete**

Yeh course

We’ll go for a pint or something

See if I can persuade him to actual eat something

that isn’t dry cereal out of the box

Enjoy you’re day lover boy

**Prongs**

You Pete

Are a god among men

**Pete**

Why thank you

Maybe you can order me 5 dozen red roses

**Prongs**

In retrospect

I will admit

That I perhaps went slightly overboard

on the roses

**Pete**

Where’s she even going to put them all??

**Prongs**

Shit yeh

Do you think I should go and try and buy a vase?

**Pete**

Vases

**Prongs**

Oh god

I don’t think I’ve got time for that!  
I’ve got to go and pick up the balloon arch!

**Pete**

That balloon what?

You know

Don’t worry about it

You do you Prongs

\------------------------------

**Worming Tablets**

**Wormtail**

Umm

Did you send Remus this massive bunch of flowers

that’s just arrived?

**Padfoot**

Yes

I ordered them before

**Wormtail**

Before what?

**Padfoot**

I don’t know

Just before

**Wormtail**

Do you want me to give them to him or…

**Padfoot**

I don’t care

He’ll probably just chuck them anyway

**Wormtail**

I really don’t think he will

Have you heard from him today?

**Padfoot**

No

**Wormtail**

Have you texted him?

**Padfoot**

No

**Wormtail**

Not giving me much to work on here mate

Are you at least having a nice time in Paris?

**Padfoot**

Not especially

Kinsgley and Hestia are all over each other

constantly

and Clara and Penny are best pads

so I’m just sat in the hotel room

**Wormtail**

I’m sure they wouldn’t have minded you tagging along

It’s only what I do most of the time

**Padfoot**

Probably not

Didn’t fancy it anyway

Might go for a walk before lunch or something

**Wormtail**

Good idea!

Get some fresh air

Be ready to dazzle the clientel

this afternoon

**Padfoot**

Haha

Fingers crossed

**Wormtail**

Don’t worry Padfoot

You’ve got this

**Padfoot**

I hope so

\------------------------------

**The PB to my J**

**Moons**

Pete gave me the flowers

**Pads**

Ok

**Moons**

They’re really beautiful

**Pads**

Yeh well

I ordered them a couple of weeks ago

it was too late to cancel the order

**Moons**

Oh right

Well thanks anyway

I love them

Are you having a good weekend?

**Pads**

Oh yeh

Its great

Love third wheeling in the most romantic city on earth

on Valentines Day

**Moons**

Right

Well your lunch starts in a few minutes doesn’t it

I hope it goes well

I’m guessing you’ve gone to the lunch now

Happy Valentine’s Day Pads

**Pads**

Yeh

You too


End file.
